Links to Dr Hayley D Quinn Resources
Reclaim Your Time and Energy: 6 Key Boundaries for Women Business Owners
Download here, completely FREE! https://drhayleydquinn.com/resources/
Book now available: https://drhayleydquinn.com/product/book/
Link to podcast mailing list: https://drhayleydquinn.com/podcast/
Group Coaching Waitlist: https://drhayleydquinn.myflodesk.com/timetothrivewaitlist
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drhayleydquinn
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedIn.com/in/dr-hayley-d-quinn-43386533
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drhayleydquinn
Marion Grasby’s Resources
Instagram, Facebook, YouTube and Tiktok under mariongrasby or marionskitchen
This transcript is computer generated and may contain errors and not be an exact representation of the audio
Hi this is Welcome to Self® and I’m your host, Dr Hayley D Quinn, the anti-burnout business coach. I’m a speaker, author, former clinical psychologist and a late identified auDHDer.
Welcome to Self ® is a podcast for business owners like you who want success but not at the cost of your well-being. This is about transforming self and transforming business. I’ll be here to remind you that you’re human first and as well as being a business owner, you have different roles in your life that need your attention and to manage those well, you need to take care of yourself in the best way possible.
Here you’ll learn about practices that’ll help you navigate not just your business but your non-work life as well and you’ll realise that you’re not alone in the ways you struggle. You’ll have your curiosity piqued on various topics as I chat with wonderful guests and bring you solo bite-sized episodes.
I’m here for service-based business owners and entrepreneurs like you, to help you increase your self-care and compassion, change your relationship with yourself and your business, and elevate your business to a new level so you can live the full and meaningful life you desire.
This is a place of nourishment, growth and helpful information. A place where you can learn ways to assist you and your business to thrive.
We’ll talk all things mindset, strategy and well-being and I’m so excited you’re here. If you haven’t already, go and hit subscribe so you don’t miss an episode.
So, let’s get started
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Hi, and welcome to another episode and another interview with yet another remarkable woman. I remember watching my next guest on television back in 2010, and then having the pleasure of meeting her at a conference in May of this year. I decided I’d be bold and asked her if she’d join me on this season of the podcast, and I was absolutely thrilled when she said yes. It is my pleasure and privilege to introduce Marion Grasby. Marion is a dynamic entrepreneur and respected leader in the food, lifestyle, and media industries. As the co-founder of the Marion’s Kitchen Group, which includes Marion’s Kitchen, Mako Performance Cookware, Assock Homewares and CookDineHost.com, Marion has redefined how we cook, eat, and experience food. She now runs this multifaceted group of companies alongside her partner and CEO, Tim Althouse, operating from three offices in Bangkok, Melbourne, and Noosa. Growing up traveling across Asia with her Thai mother and Australian father, Marion developed a passion for culinary traditions. In 2010, she co-founded Marion’s Kitchen, transforming her cherished family recipes into meal kits and sauces. And now her products are a mainstay in major supermarkets and Australian household pantries. More recently, Marion expanded her portfolio by co-founding ventures in performance cookware, homewares, and an e-commerce marketplace. A prolific content creator since 2017, she has also established an in-house production company and made her directorial television debut on SBS this year with Marion’s Flavors of Heart and Home. Marion’s blend of creative flair, relentless ambition, and genuine love for food not only drives her own professional career, but also inspires countless women in business to pursue their dreams with passion and purpose. Marion knows the impact of burnout, and also how to redesign life so it’s more sustainable. And I know you’re going to have a lot of great takeaways from our conversation. It’s not every day I get to share the mic with someone as inspiring as Marion. Welcome to the podcast, Miriam, and thanks so much for being here.
Marion Grasby: Oh, you’re so welcome, it’s my pleasure, my pleasure. That’s right, that’s right. I’m hardly ever in one place. I do… I do quite like the travel, and I love being able to be both present in Thailand as well as Australia, but yes, does mean things get a bit busy, and you can… it can be a bit difficult to get a hold of me in one spot.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: So, before we turn the conversation to burnout, which we’re really going to focus on today, can you start by giving us a bit of background, such as, like, what were you doing before it was all about food?
Marion Grasby: Well, I started out, doing a law degree. I figured there might be some good-looking guys doing law back then when I was a teenager. I think I’d been watching too many TV legal court dramas or something. But anyway, I did a law degree. I also did a journalism degree. To be honest, I really didn’t know what I wanted to do, and that’s why I did those. I did end up, though, wanting to be an ABC… well, wanting to be a journalist. I’d always loved telling stories. I think that’s been the one constant throughout my career. And so journalism was the first kind of job I went after, and I ended up becoming an ABC TV journalist, which was… amazing, and what I thought would be my dream job, but as happens, sometimes you figure out the path you’re on isn’t the right one. So I quit journalism to do something in food. So I went away to study, food and wine history, which I thought would give me some good… I’m very nerdy. I like to, like, kind of get stuck into projects and things at a very granular level, so I wanted to get into food, I wanted to tell food stories, so I went to study food and wine history, and that kind of kicked everything off, really.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Fantastic. And when we’re thinking about the sort of burnout side of things, what was… what kind of led you to recognizing that you were in burnout? I mean, obviously, you’re very busy, it sounds like you’ve always been a busy person and very curious and focused in on what you’re doing. But when did you first realize you were in burnout?
Marion Grasby: I think this was such an interesting question, actually, and I… for me. I didn’t realize I was in burnout until after the fact. And I think, you know, particularly with podcasts like yours, and there’s a lot more books that have been written about burnout, and people are talking about it more, which is so wonderful. But at the time, which was around about, I would say… I would say, in hindsight, it kind of… it started for me around about… 2022, early 2022, but it probably wasn’t until 2024 that I realized what I’d actually gone through.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, yeah, such a common story. I had my burnout probably 10 years ago now, and it certainly wasn’t a conversation. I just knew something was very wrong, and it wasn’t until I was through the process and the conversation started happening that it’s like, oh, yeah, okay, I had a significant burnout. So, when you look back, what were some of the signs and symptoms that you experienced, and perhaps some of the things that you missed? Because I’m assuming at some point you took action on this. He was crying. you kind of missed or glossed over? Because I think that can happen a lot as well.
Marion Grasby: Well, you know, I’ve always been a really active person, both, physically, in terms of exercise, but also with my work. You know, I probably had always… my personality type to my… for myself was always… I’m the hard worker, I’m the one that gets up at 3 or 4 or 5am to do work, or I’m the last one to leave the office, or, you know, I will work projects until they’re done, doesn’t matter, you know, the impact on my personal life, or anything like that. So, always just really driven in that respect. But I think, you know, what happened was. My body just gave out. So, typically, physically, I’d never been you know, very sick for prolonged periods. You know, I felt like I was a very fit, active kind of person. I always have been, always loved to run, and exercise and do those sorts of things, but in about 2022, I, got very sick with the flu, which then turned into pneumonia. Which then turned into a broken rib, which then turned into two years of on and off just… issues with, losing my voice, with getting a very minor cold, and all of a sudden being sick for 4 weeks, you know, brain fog. You know, I prided myself on being able to read a recipe and then literally be able to cook it in front of thousands of people and remember every single ingredient, and all of a sudden, I couldn’t remember you know, whether it was dark soy sauce or light soy sauce, I was supposed to put in a recipe, you know, it… it was… it was physical, and very, very, very mental, but I think it was the… probably the physical aspects of it that really Alerted me to the fact, hang on, this brain fog and these other things, this fatigue, you know, maybe it’s all related.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, gosh, I think, again, this is such a common thread that we find, and I think… We can have these thoughts that things aren’t right, and kind of minimize and gloss over them, but when the body speaks, you have to pay attention, right? I know that was certainly the case for me as well. And it starts small, doesn’t it? And then it gets louder, and it’s like, okay, well, if you’re not listening to this, you’re gonna get more sick. If you’re not listening to that, you’re gonna get even more sick. I’m gonna stop you. And I think this happens so often, is that we don’t pay attention to what’s happening and what our bodies and minds are telling us. Until we’re kind of like, well, that’s it, you’re flat out now, you can’t do anything but listen.
Marion Grasby: And I think… I think that those sorts of symptoms, you know, I just put it down to, oh, well, you know, it was probably because of the pneumonia, first of all, and then, oh, well, it’s because everyone’s getting the flu at the moment, and then, oh, well, it’s because of this or that, and I think that you know, being able to talk about these kinds of symptoms and have more women pay attention to, hang on, is there a pattern here, or am I just feeling a bit more sick than I usually am, or is my life being impacted, because of, you know, this pattern of sickness or stress? I think, you know, being able to, step back and Link all those things together is really important, and probably not something a lot of women are doing.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Absolutely, I would agree, I would agree. And, you know, hence why I wanted to put together this series, to really have conversations with People who have been through this and come out the other side, not just cautionary tales, but also to give some hope and inspiration that things can get better and life can be done differently, and we’ll talk about that a little bit later as well. So, what do you think was the biggest impact on you? About being burnt out.
Marion Grasby: So, for me, there were two that were very impactful, both on personal life and my, my work life. One was the… the issue of losing my voice constantly. You know, every… two months or so, I’d get a little bug, and my voice would completely disappear for about 2 weeks. And obviously got all the scans, you know, there was… there’s nothing… there’s nothing physically there causing that. And… and so that obviously had a very big impact on… on my work, because obviously I have to talk a lot for my work. And… So, that was probably one of the biggest impacts. Secondly, the biggest impact was really very, mental. So, you know, feeling doubtful about or, you know, not confident anymore because of the brain fog, or the fatigue, or, you know, not… just not feeling sharp, and I’m so used to feeling sharp. And so, not only was that an issue, but it also knocked my confidence as well. So, I think they were the… definitely the two main things, both physical and mental.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, and I think it’s so important to talk about this, isn’t it? Because this really does impact you on so many levels. And, you know, you’re a mum, you’re partnered. Did you find there was impacts there as well?
Marion Grasby: Absolutely. So, you know, when I was in the thick of it, my son Henry would have been, 2… yes, 2 years old, and my daughter Charlie would have been about… 4… 4… 5? So, obviously, having two young children running after them, you know, as well as, you know, the… the stress of what I was going through mentally and physically, I think… I think it all… obviously, things have to give, and so rather than, I guess, maybe spending more of my time with them, or being able to give them more of my time, you know, there was less, you know, there was less room for that, because I was in this cycle of being sick, or being behind, or feeling fatigued, and… and so, yes, it’s definitely, definitely an impact, you know, from my perspective on… on everyone that’s in your circle.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, and I mean, running around after little children, when you’re in the best of health is… is tough, right? that you’re feeling burnt out, that makes things really hard. And then I can only imagine that then when you can’t be the mum you want to be for your children, that then adds in the, perhaps. Comes even harder. and the guilt and all that, so it just becomes this perpetual cycle, doesn’t it?
Marion Grasby: Women tend to have this innate guilt built into us somewhere. I don’t… I don’t know why, but, you know, it’s almost a battle against it all the time. It seems to be there innately, but it’s definitely one of the things that I’ve been working on myself as part of, you know, post-burnout, is dealing… and dealing with… acknowledging and dealing with… with that kind of guilt.’43?
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, absolutely. I know for me, compassion was absolutely life-changing, and it’s, you know, the basis of the work that I do, and the book that I’ve got coming out as well, is really helping people change that relationship with themselves, because I think we can be flooded with this guilt. Was there anything that particularly surprised or shocked you about your burnout experience?
Marion Grasby: probably just how physical it really was for me. I’m sure this is very different for everyone. You know, I feel like burnout is something that affects people very differently, and obviously I’m… I don’t have a medical background, so I can only tell you from my perspective, but, you know, the physicality of being sick constantly and losing my voice That really was a really big shock, because Before that, I’d kind of felt very invincible, you know? I was the person who worked all day and exercised and came home and had family time, and, you know, the impact of the physicality of not being able to do that was… was quite… was quite shocking. It was like, wow, I’m not invincible.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, absolutely. And that, you know, it has an impact on your identity, doesn’t it? It really challenges how you see yourself.
Marion Grasby: It really does, and I think post-burnout, that’s been the one thing that I’ve had to, or wanted to change, because I think the way that you perceive yourself and the identity you give yourself can, either, you know, encourage burnout or help you out of it.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, absolutely, I would, I would absolutely agree. So, how long do you think you were kind of in that burnout process, and what sort of things did you do to recover?
Marion Grasby: Well, because it was quite physical for me, the… I went to see a naturopath. I obviously spoke to my GP as well, so there was, you know, multiple times where I was, you know, getting treatment with antibiotics and things like that. But I really wanted a long-term… habitual kind of, pathway out of it. And probably at the time, I didn’t know it was burnout. I wasn’t calling it burnout, I was just… I just knew that something was wrong and something that had to change. So, I went to… I went to my naturopath, and we did a whole lot of tests, which is… which I would really encourage people to do, to actually get down to the medical, physical level, look at what’s happening in your bloods, look at what’s happening with hormones, so that you can make an educated, medical-based, decision about what’s right for you. And what we decided was that, you know, my adrenal glands probably needed a bit of a boost. You know, that’s the glands that sort of run your fight or flight. bits and pieces, and obviously I’m not a… I don’t have a medical background, so this is just how, we talked about it with my naturopath. And so she, she helped me with different tonics and herbs that would naturally help to do that. We looked at my diet to make sure that I was eating things that would encourage my immune system to kick in, vitamins. But I think the biggest change. One, yes, all those things are really great, and yes, it was great to get all the tests, and just generally, as a woman, you know, in my 40s, it’s a good thing to do, and I think a lot of us don’t do as much of that as we should. So, despite all of that, well, alongside all of that, I wanted to make sort of a daily habits change. So, I put aside time to exercise every morning, which I felt like was what my body needed to recover, and what I feel like is good, that’s my me time. Not everyone loves exercise, I… I do love it, so… but I was giving that up, you see, because I was busy, or because I had, you know, two cookbooks to write. I think I wrote two cookbooks in times that I call extracurricular, so between the hours of 3am and 6am, and then I’d go to work, and do work, and then come home, you know, and be with the kids. And so what I did was stop… I put a stop to that, so no more 3 to 6am work.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yay!
Marion Grasby: Yay! I prioritized my, my exercise, my daily exercise habit, I want to call it, and let the team know, you know, I might possibly be late today, because I’ve had to drop the kids off at school, but I also need to fit my exercise in, and a big one for women not apologizing for things, so instead of saying, I’m sorry, I’ll be late, I would say… I say, thank you for your patience.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: I do that on email.
Marion Grasby: I will be, I will be on my, my, my bike for an extra half an hour today. So, one was getting the medical advice, and doing the proper testing. Two was putting together some daily habits, particularly in the morning, which I felt like was where I was overstepping, through the burnout period, and putting in daily habits in place, like the, My exercise routine every morning. And… And also having the third really important one, probably the most important one, actually, was changing the way I thought about myself. So, my identity had always been that I’m the hard worker, I’m the one that works the most, I love work, you know, and I do love work, but I had to change that to say, you know, yes, I love work, but I don’t need to be working 24-7, and I don’t need to be doing activities like writing, you know, outside of work hours. So, it was really… saying, I can be efficient, and I can be just as successful. But I don’t need to work myself to the bone, so I had to change that, idea that I had about myself as well, and that was probably the biggest one, changing that identity, my own personal identity, from that to someone who is more rounded, and… enjoys life, which I do, you know, loves life, but also has boundaries in place, for work.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: I love that so much, because I think that is so, so important. Like, we can’t just go through recovery, and then start back where we were, and think we’re not going to end up back in burnout. Like, it really is a shift in lifestyle, it’s a shift in identity, it’s a shift in the relationship that you’ve got with yourself. And you can still be somebody who works hard. work… working hard doesn’t mean you have to be there before everyone else and leave, you know, after everybody else and never stop working, does it? You can work hard when you’re at work, and you can love your work, because I think a lot of women as well have this fear that if they kind of take their foot off the pedal. and they take time for themselves, or they take breaks through the day, or they slow down, that everything’s going to fall apart. And in my experience for myself and with other people I work with, that just isn’t the case. And I would say you could probably speak to that as well, because you’ve made these changes, and I don’t think your businesses have collapsed.
Marion Grasby: Exactly. If anything, I think I’ve probably become a better, boss, a better mom, a better colleague, a better friend, because I am make… I have made that identity shift, and I have been able to put in place daily habits that make me, more efficient. In terms of… I can, you know, I feel like I’m achieving everything that I was before, but in a way that’s far more healthier. So the other thing that I like to do is, I now keep myself a paper diary where I write out only, you know, the 5 to 6 very important things that I need to do for the day, and then that means that I’m concentrating on the right things, because I think before, I was kind of being pulled in many, many, many different directions, and every minute there was something else, or there was an email, or someone was coming to ask me something, or… which is fine, but it sort of takes you away from the sort of core, main things that you need to do. So one of the other things that was really important was sitting down and thinking, okay, well, what is it that’s actually important to my company’s today, what will actually move the needle? What will actually, you know, have the most impact? Getting those things done, and then not worrying about the rest. So, I think Actually, it’s made me a more efficient, and… efficient person, with… with work, actually, which is… which is pretty good, really.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah. Well, as well, then, it gives you time outside of that to do the other things, like you say, with your family, your children, your friends, the activities that you like to do. And I think we can get caught up in being busy being busy. That’s right. I had a really busy day. It’s like, yeah, but what did you do?
Marion Grasby: Well, that’s right, and there’s so many, so many distractions, and I think all of this… leads into your… into that feeling of stress, because you might be working on a project, but then you get an email, and then all of a sudden you’re checking all your emails, and then all of a sudden you’ve spent an hour on your email, and you haven’t actually done the project that is really important, because you got sidetracked, or someone sent you a message in the WhatsApp group, and, you know, so what I try to do is close down those systems. while I’m working on particular things throughout the day, and make time to do those things, check emails, or check socials, because socials is part of my job, but I don’t want to be scrolling on socials all day. I want to be setting aside chunks of time to do that. So, I think… setting aside chunks of time and making lists also helps you to focus, because that’s one of the things that I think that happens in burnout, is that your focus becomes so scattered, and then that leads you to be stressed, and then that leads to, you know, burnout. So, trying to structure what you need to do is a really important part of making sure that You stay in a good place and don’t go back to that burnout place.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, because everybody I speak to, and certainly myself as well, it’s not a place you ever want to go back to, is it?
Marion Grasby: It’s not, and I don’t… I don’t think it… it’s also something you have to continually work on, because you can feel… I can feel myself sometimes getting into bad, you know, bad habits again if things get really busy, and I have to keep reminding myself, you know, this is what’s important. These are the things, you know, your exercise in the morning, your list of 5 or 6 things you need to do, stay focused, you know. And, and keeping that… daily habit, is… is something that I think you have to do forever.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: I’d absolutely agree. I think it really, like I said before, it’s this change in lifestyle, this change in the way that you operate in the world. And I will often do a review of my diary, and I do a looking ahead. And I color code different things, and I have yellow for self-care. And if there’s not a lot of yellow in there, then I make sure I’m adding it in. And if there’s too much of other stuff, I’ll kind of look and think, well, actually, how am I feeling? I have been busy, I need to take some of that out, I need to rearrange some of that stuff, and I’m okay. Previously, I wouldn’t do that. Oh, but I’ve got it in my diary, I’d plan to do it, you know, I must do it, and it’s like, no, I need to be well. For the long haul. Otherwise, none of it’s getting done. I can’t be of any use to myself, can’t be any use to anybody else.
Marion Grasby: Yeah, so I definitely think the focus and… And making sure you’ve got the balance. And as you said, it’s an active thing. It’s not just a, oh, it’s in my mind, oh, yeah, no, I’m getting my exercise, and I’m doing this, and I’m doing that. Make the list, look at what you’re doing, you know, analyze it, as you said, have a look at the time you’re spending doing this or doing that, and making sure that it is balanced. I think it’s really important to have that.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: to have that step back and actually analyse what it is that you’re doing. Yeah, absolutely. So, looking back, what do you think has been your biggest lesson in this?
Marion Grasby: Well, I think that… you know, I’m always a really positive person, and I’m always a no-regrets person as well, so as much as it was not a great time, you know, I feel like I’ve come out of it the other side. so much better. I have all these, you know, great daily systems in place, you know, I have my, you know, the exercise, the list of things, my focus is back. you know, I’m nutritionally, you know, better, or aware of what I need to do nutritionally to stay well, all those things. So, I feel like without having gone through that, I wouldn’t be in the good place that I am in now, and have those really good systems, those daily systems in place. So, I am thankful for that, and I, and, yeah. I mean, it took… A bit of a rough patch to get to it, but, you know, we got there in the end.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, and it can, for so many of us, it can take it getting to that point where it’s… Quite devastating, really, to… to your… yourself, your relationships, your work. For me, it was an income thing as well, because I literally had to stop working. And, you know, part of my passion around burnout prevention is so other people don’t have to get to that point, because there are things that we can put in place. And sometimes, you know, when we’re talking about doing these things, I think it can feel a little overwhelming for people of, like, oh, I’ve got to be so conscious and so active. But once you get into that routine of it, it really doesn’t take any more time than, kind of, getting up and brushing your teeth, does it? It really is just… part of those, like you say, daily habits. For me, it’s greeting myself in a compassionate way in the morning, and then checking in with how I feel. thinking about what I’ve got ahead of me, and what resources do I need? Do I need to let anything go? Do I need to be more resourced for a particular thing? And when it becomes in that routine and those daily habits, I don’t think it actually takes that much time. What would you say to that?
Marion Grasby: to me, the daily habit is absolutely the key. It’s what you do day in, day out, that will end up making the big difference, and I think that’s the thing, you know, it’s scary if you look at it, you know. in a big picture way, but if you say to yourself, look, I just have to achieve these things every day, I just have to do this and that and that and that, I just have to focus, I just have to do my list. And then… I think if you think about it in that smaller way, it doesn’t seem as daunting, it’s not as hard, it doesn’t seem like such a big thing, and I think when you’re really sick, or you’re really in a bad place, things are really overwhelming, so just taking small steps, and even just bit by bit, okay, you know, I’m going to change one thing this week, I’m gonna change my, you know, I’m gonna change… instead of waking up and checking my emails, I’m going to wake up and do some mindful breathing. You know, small things like that. Starting small and then building from there. I think that’s… that’s really key, particularly if you’re someone that’s right in the depths of it, because it can seem very overwhelming.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Absolutely. Sometimes, for me, it was like, I’m gonna drink an extra glass of water today. Yes, exactly, that’s it! Just these small things, and I think, I think there’s so much, great, there are so many great resources now, you know, that talk about. burnout, your podcast being one of them, and being able to look those tools up, look up those small things that you can do every day, and, you know, perhaps in 2 weeks or 4 weeks. you’ll choose something else to do, and you’ll start to feel better. I think… I think that’s definitely the key, small steps.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. If you had one thing to say to the people listening. About all this, and kind of moving forward, what would that one thing be, do you think?
Marion Grasby: It would be that… you know, burnout’s not something that you can go and get diagnosed, like, you can get a test to see if you have influenza A, or something like that. You know, you might not even know that you’re in it, you might not know, that you’re, at the bottom of it, or at the start of it, or at the end of it. I think the main thing is to think about Patterns of what’s happening in your life, you know, whether it’s patterns of stress, patterns of fatigue, patterns of brain fog, patterns of physical or, you know, physical things that happen. and just trying to step back and see whether there’s a connection there, because I think it’s very difficult to know what’s going on, or whether you are in burnout or not, but if you could just… take a… if I could have just taken a step back a bit earlier and said, hang on, why is all this happening? Why am I getting so sick all the time? I might have been able to get started a bit earlier, so I think that’s the one thing, yeah.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah, that’s self-awareness, isn’t it? There’s lots of information, and I certainly cover the, kind of. Signs and symptoms of burnout in my upcoming book. But I also say to people, it’s really about paying attention to what are you doing less of that you used to enjoy and you found helpful. What are you doing more of that perhaps isn’t helpful? what’s changed, and you’ve spoken to this today as well, about what’s changed uniquely for you that might make you think, oh, why do I keep losing my voice so much, or why am I, you know, experiencing XYZ more often than I might normally? And I think that’s really, really important, is tuning into ourselves. And really paying attention to what is different. And the couple of things that stood out for me about what you were saying as well is… is you went and sought help from somebody else. You know, you went to the GP, you went to the naturopath, you went to find out more information, but also then you spoke to people about the things you were going to do, like talking to your staff about, I’m actually going to be in later, because I’m going to be exercising. So, being okay with saying to people, I’m making changes. This is what’s gonna be happening. Because I think that’s the other thing, is a lot of women can feel like it’s not okay to say, actually, I’m gonna say no to you so I can say yes to myself.
Marion Grasby: Yeah, and I think, you know, the more that you say those things, the more you realize that people don’t actually mind. I think, you know, I’ve… as you mentioned, and as I mentioned, you know, I’ve been very open with people in my life, and with work, and talking about, okay, I’m going to be doing this today. Actually, I can’t… talk to you about that, you know, in the next hour, because I’m… I’m working on this other project, but I’ll come back to you, when I can give you my full attention. And it’s… it is okay, I mean, because, you know, if someone said that to me, I’d think, oh, great, okay, she really wants to, you know, give me the attention that I need when she can give it, and that’s great. So I think… I think, I think we tell ourselves that it’s not okay to do that, but it’s most… Certainly is, exactly.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: And I think the other thing I really, really admire about that as well is Being vocal about it. Because a lot of… I think a lot of shame can show up. And particularly for high-achieving women. You know, you’d said you were used to being able to do all the things and get everything done. And then all of a sudden, you can’t. And things change, and… I think a lot of shame and guilt can show up with that, which can stop people from reaching out for help, or even being curious about what’s happening. Talking to loved ones or people at work. So, I think that’s a really important thing as well, isn’t it? That we can recognize that this isn’t something that you’ve done wrong.
Marion Grasby: I think that’s the… that’s really the key, that it isn’t something that you’ve done, wrong, absolutely. I think I was… well, I’m not… wouldn’t say I’m lucky, but the… the… the lucky thing for me was that my change and was so open, because I… couldn’t actually talk to anyone, so I had to be really open and honest with people and say, look, this has been happening, and I have to do this to fix this, so that… so that it doesn’t happen, doesn’t keep happening again. So, I think if you’re in a position where it was more internal or more mental. be a lot, lot tougher to come out and talk about it, and as you said, it is really important to do that. I did it because I had to, because people were like, why? Why is Marion… why can’t Marion talk again? Why does she not talk to me anymore? Yeah, that’s right! So, you know, in that respect, it was lucky that that was one of my symptoms, but I think that’s certainly the key, particularly if your symptoms aren’t as… outwardly physical as mine were. You know, that is really key that you tell people around you what you’re doing so that they can help support you, and they know what’s happening. And people do want to help. Everyone wants to help, you know, and you’ll find that if you reach out.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah. Yeah, it can be really tricky. I was a psychologist at the time when I had my burnout, and I had a lot of shame. I was, like, a helping professional. I was teaching people about well-being, and here I was, completely burnt out. And found that really hard to speak up, and also struggled with actually receiving compassion from other people and help, so that was a big challenge for my… for me, and I’ve spoken about that in a previous episode. But it really is key, isn’t it? Like, this isn’t something we need to face alone, and can be really hard to try and figure this out, because I think there’s times, particularly if you are running a business, or you have children, or you’re caring for other people, or whatever it is you’ve got going on, you need the support of other people. And the input of other people to help resource you so you can focus on getting well.
Marion Grasby: Yeah, absolutely, and I think that’s… I think that when you start to talk to people about it, you know, I literally just had a dinner with a colleague in Sydney recently. We’re both women of similar age, and we just started talking about burnout and about some of these different symptoms that we’d both had, and it was so great to actually be able to call it something. I mean, you know, I don’t think burnout was really a term that was being used years ago, even. So, you know, the fact that even another, you know, woman, you know, who’s gone through the same thing, and we were able to talk about it, you know, I think that if you… if you… you’ll surprise yourself when you actually do talk to people about it, how many people probably have gone through the same thing, and maybe you didn’t know. So, you know, I think it really is… key to be able to do that, and to be brave enough to do that, and I think if you are, you’ll find, that people are really supportive or have actually gone through the same thing. Because it’s not like, you know, even with… with my team or my family, you know, you don’t have to go around shouting, oh, I’ve, you know, I’ve had burnout, I’m, you know, doing this or that. It’s not really about that. It’s really about… being open about, you know, some of your symptoms, or things that you have been doing, or the bad habits that you’ve gotten into, and how you’re changing them. It can just be as simple as that. So I think talking getting it outside of your head, is very key to, recovering from it, I think.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah. I mean, you know, being in community is part of our self-care, yeah? And I think when we share our humanness with each other. we recognize that actually we have a lot of very similar experiences. Obviously, we have our own individual experiences, but we have a lot of very shared experiences. And, you know, particularly for women, we’re very socialized to be thinking about the other Being in service to other people, neglecting our own needs. And I think the more we can have these conversations, so I really do thank you so much for coming on the podcast, because I think the more we can hear from people and share these conversations, the more we will have more of these conversations, and it will just be so much… Of so much benefit to people.
Marion Grasby: Absolutely, because I think, you know, particularly in the world of Instagram and, you know, social media, you can see, you know, you see a lot of glittery things and lots of things happening, but, you know, you don’t really know, perhaps, what that person has been going through, you know, in real life, behind the scenes, and so the more that people can talk about their experiences and share I think the better. You know, people might have looked at some of the things that I do, you know, the various companies, the food products, the cookware, and say, oh, wow, she just must feel amazing. And I do feel amazing, but, you know, at times, I don’t… I haven’t felt amazing. So, I think it’s good for people to know that, that everyone, has, you know, has has, you know, these things to go through, and it’s not… everything is not always as it seems, and yes, I think the more that we can listen to women talk about these things, talk about their particular experiences, mine’s only one story in millions, then I think the more brave and inspiring that will be to other women, so hopefully that’s the case.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Yeah. And, you know, you’re a very successful woman, you’ve… you’ve… Built amazing companies, and there’s no doubt you’re successful. And part of the success is your well-being, isn’t it?
Marion Grasby: Yeah, so that’s what I came to realize. Yeah! That was… that was the big realization that, you know, my personal well-being really has to be one of the things that I’m successful at in order for my life to be happy and healthy. And it’s something that you have to actively work on, so, yeah.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Fantastic. So, I ask this to… of all my guests, this is one of my favourite questions. If you could meet your 80-year-old self today. What do you think she would say to you?
Marion Grasby: I think she’d be pretty happy. I think that at this point, I’ve come through, probably a period of time where I worked far too hard and didn’t allow enough I’m not gonna call it fun time, but me time off, or, or, or… fun or family time, but I’ve kind of rectified that now, so I feel like she would say, Marion, I’m very proud of you, continue on, making sure that you, do what you’re doing now. So, yeah, I think, yeah, I think she… I think she’d be happy.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: I think she would too. Especially knowing, especially knowing that you are doing the things to take care of her.
Marion Grasby: Exactly. She’d be like, you know, just make sure you’re doing, you know, your longevity exercises, because I want another 10 years, please.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: Absolutely. Oh, Marion, this has been such a pleasure. I was so thrilled when you said yes to coming on the podcast. And this has been such a helpful conversation, I have no doubt that people will take a lot of really great things away from this, so thank you so much for joining me.
Marion Grasby: Al, you’re so welcome, thank you for having me.
Dr Hayley D Quinn: And thank you for tuning in. The book will be coming out very soon, From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion, and if you’re not already on my book waitlist, you can find the details in the show notes. I’ll also be including all of Marion’s details and links in the show notes as well, so you’ll be able to go and check her out. And I can assure you, her cookware is absolutely beautiful. I recently got some for myself. So, this is not a sponsored ad, but I will say, you can go and check out the links in the show notes. Thanks for tuning in, and until next week, go well and go gently with yourselves. Bye!