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Reclaim Your Time and Energy: 6 Key Boundaries for Women Business Owners
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This transcript is computer generated and may contain errors and not be an exact representation of the audio
Hi this is Welcome to Self® and I’m your host, Dr Hayley D Quinn, the anti-burnout business coach. I’m a speaker, author, former clinical psychologist and a late identified auDHDer.
Welcome to Self ® is a podcast for business owners like you who want success but not at the cost of your well-being. This is about transforming self and transforming business. I’ll be here to remind you that you’re human first and as well as being a business owner, you have different roles in your life that need your attention and to manage those well, you need to take care of yourself in the best way possible.
Here you’ll learn about practices that’ll help you navigate not just your business but your non-work life as well and you’ll realise that you’re not alone in the ways you struggle. You’ll have your curiosity piqued on various topics as I chat with wonderful guests and bring you solo bite-sized episodes.
I’m here for service-based business owners and entrepreneurs like you, to help you increase your self-care and compassion, change your relationship with yourself and your business, and elevate your business to a new level so you can live the full and meaningful life you desire.
This is a place of nourishment, growth and helpful information. A place where you can learn ways to assist you and your business to thrive.
We’ll talk all things mindset, strategy and well-being and I’m so excited you’re here. If you haven’t already, go and hit subscribe so you don’t miss an episode.
So, let’s get started
Hi, and welcome back to another episode, the final episode of Season 9. So, this time, it’s just going to be a short one, just to wrap up what we’ve done for the season, and we’ll be back mid-January for Season 10.
I firstly want to thank my guests for this season. This one has really been focusing on people’s burnout stories, and why burnout prevention is so, so important, and why I’m so passionate about it. So I really want to say thank you to Shannon A. Swales, Marion Grasby, Kim Elizabeth James, and Cherie Clonan. For their openness, their… Willingness to share vulnerable parts of their story. So that you, the listener, can hopefully recognise some of the things that we sometimes miss in regards to heading towards burnout. And also, I think their stories also offer us hope. That even when things are really challenging, and we are perhaps finding ourselves either on the edge of burnout or in burnout. It is possible to turn things around and recover from that.
I guess my message is always, we don’t really want to have to be in the recovery, because it takes a lot more emotionally, physically, financially, practically, to recover from burnout than it does to prevent burnout. So if we can have things in place to help us prevent burnout, it’s going to serve us much better in the long run.
For those of you that know me and know my work, I speak a lot about changing the relationship we have with ourselves. So that we can really understand ourselves more, and recognise what is and what isn’t helpful for us as individuals. And also, then, to start making different decisions. That are going to serve us better as we move forward in our lives in general, and also our business and our work.
So, it’s been… it’s been a hectic, kind of, few months in some ways. And a peaceful few months in others for me. I always try and manage a nice blend of kind of being busy, but also having plenty of rest. One of the comments I get quite a lot from people is, oh my gosh, you’re so busy, and I think that’s because looking from the outside in. I have lots of different things that I’m doing. But I can assure you, I do it in a way that means I’m not doing lots of things all the time. And I also have support in my life to help me do those things as well. And I think it’s really important that we recognise that when we’re looking at other people’s lives. We don’t always understand what’s going on in the background. What resources people have, What capacity people have, what support and help people have as well. So, trying not to compare yourself to other people just by what you’re seeing online is really important as well.
For me, the, the book… has… become available for pre-orders, which is really, really exciting. And I’ll put notes in the show notes of where you can get your pre-order. And also, the book will be out for publication in February, so if you pre-order now, your books will be sent out early in the new year. I want to say a really, really big thank you to the people who have pre-ordered. I’m only aware at this stage of the numbers that have come through directly to me. I don’t know what’s going on in the online retail space at the moment. I won’t know that until early next year. I’m hopeful that there’s some pre-orders coming in for that as well, but what I do know is I’ve had a really great number of pre-orders through my website. And I’m really looking forward to sending those out to you in the new year as well, and I really, really appreciate it. It has felt really meaningful writing the book. And I’ve had people who have read an advanced copy of the book and the feedback I’ve had from that has been really beautiful and really heartwarming. And I truly believe this is going to be a book that can really help you, and I do think it is the book that your future self wants you to read. So, if you haven’t already got yourself a copy on pre-order, I encourage you to jump into the show notes and do that. And also, I’ll be doing some book events in the new year, starting in February. So, reach out and let me know where you are as well, because I’m planning some different ones. And, maybe I’ll be coming to somewhere near you as well, which would be great.
So, in this final episode, I… just wanted to remind you that you don’t have to say yes to everyone and everything as we head into what some people call the silly season. So this holiday period, however you may or may not celebrate. It can be a time when we can feel like we are obliged to say yes to lots of different things. And again, I think it’s important to tune into yourself, recognise where your capacity lies, and also your desire, what you do and don’t want to do. And see if you can make your choices based on values-based decisions. That are actually aligned with how you want things to be. And there may be situations where you do feel obliged to spend time with people that perhaps you might prefer not to. And maybe you’re not quite ready to make those decisions to do things differently yet. But just be aware of what it is you’re doing, and who you’re spending time with, and whether that’s something you want to do. I talk about this in the book, From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion, as well. Looking at values, looking at how we’re allocating our time. And I think these are really important things. We don’t often stop to reflect on these. So… As you go into this, period of time. Take care of yourself. Go gently with yourself, whatever that means for you. And even if you’re not ready to make different decisions, just pay attention to the decisions you are making, so that maybe you can reflect back later to see if you want to do things differently moving forward.
I think the other thing is that there’s a lot of information at the moment about, you know, making sure everything’s set up, and, you know, don’t go easy to the end of the year, we need to keep pushing through. That might work for you, and if it does, that’s great. But also, you might be somebody that needs to slow down towards the end of the year. So that you can recharge and actually save that energy for the momentum you want in the new year. I personally will be taking a break. I’ll be stopping work on the, I think, the 19th of December, and I’ll be back in my… my office, even though I don’t technically have an office, I work from wherever I want. Back on the 12th of January. And I always remind myself, what doesn’t get done… What doesn’t get done? Will either be done later. Or, you might realize that it actually doesn’t matter, and it’s not important for it to be done at all.
So again, we can get caught up in… Being busy being busy? And not really be that intentional about why is it I’m doing some of these things? Or perhaps we think we need to be doing them because somebody else thinks that’s a good idea for us. So you might want to have a bit of a review of what you’ve got on your plate. Can you… Put some of that stuff aside. Can you get some of it finished before the end of the year? Is it going to feel good to get it finished before the end of the year? I know I’ve got some tasks that I absolutely want to get out of the way before I finish for the year. I want them out of my head. I want them off my computer. There’s others that I have already reallocated to… January. I don’t want to… worry if I’m going to get them done this year. I don’t want to think about them, so I’ve already moved them. And there’s some things that I’ve actually deleted. And said, you know what? I don’t actually want to do that anymore, or I don’t need to do that anymore.
And then there’s the things that you might want to delegate to somebody else. Particularly if you’re somebody who, at this time of year, whether it’s in your business or in your personal life. If you’re somebody that kind of takes the lion’s share of responsibility for everything. You might want to have a bit of a look at that. And see if… A, these things are actually your responsibility. B, if you’ve got capacity to do them, if they are your responsibility. Or, if you could actually pass them on to somebody else who could do them for you. And I know that can be a tricky one for some people, you kind of like to hold control and think, no, I have to do it, I’m the only one that can do it properly. What I’ve discovered is, if you actually are willing to let go of that, and you can give good instruction to somebody else, and trust that you’ve chosen them because of who they are and what they’re capable of. It can work out really well. It can work out better than if you had done it yourself.
I would love to give a shout out to my VA, Alyana. And also Nyssa, my podcast producer. Because they take stuff off my plate. that allows me to keep doing the podcast. If I had to do all this myself. I’ve said it before, I really don’t think I would keep doing it, because it would feel like too much. So I get to do the bit I enjoy. And then I pass it on to people who’ve got better skills than me in those areas. And that works really well. So perhaps have a think about, are there areas of your life, whether it’s business or home life. Where you could actually delegate some things to somebody else.
In the recent times, our family has had a very unexpected bereavement. And the reason I wanted to mention that is because these things happen. This, unfortunately, is a part of life. It can be unpredictable and distressing. And when we run our own businesses. We can’t necessarily just put everything on hold when life happens. And we need to find ways of navigating through these things. And… This has been another time for me where I am so grateful for the compassionate relationship I have with myself. I’m so grateful for the work I’ve done. to help me understand who I am and how I best operate. And what I need, and what I find helpful, and what I find not so helpful. Because it allowed me to make… choices about what I wanted to… still engage in what I wanted to step back from, and how I could navigate taken care of the people I love, supporting my husband and his family. And also navigating things with my clients and the other work projects that I’ve got on at the moment.
So remember, Life… happens to us. None of us are immune from the unpredictability and the… The difficult things that can arise in our lives. And I think making sure that you can develop this compassionate relationship with yourself, so you can treat yourself gently when you need to. When you can… really understand how you’re going to best navigate certain situations, and also having support in place. People that you can reach out to. People you know have got your back. The sort of people who are going to understand if you’re not turning up 100%. Like, it felt really important for me today to get this podcast episode recorded. So that I can get it to Nyssa and Alyana, and we can have it out next week. To finish up the season.
And as I was sitting here in my t-shirt, with no makeup and my hair not done. I thought about going and getting ready to do the podcast recording. makeup, change my clothes, pop some earrings in. And there was just this part of me that was like, you know what? It feels really important to get the podcast done. And it feels really important not to complicate it and push yourself. In terms of having to do all those things first. So I made the choice to show up as I am, And record the podcast anyway. Because at the end of the day, what comes out of my mouth doesn’t change if I put makeup on and do my hair. I am somebody who likes to put makeup on and do my hair. So, normally I would do that, but under this circumstance, I was able to really be compassionate with myself. And recognised that that felt like too much. But it was really values aligned to get this final episode recorded. So that we can wrap up this season. This season that saw us celebrating 100 episodes. This season that welcomed some amazing, generous guests. If you haven’t listened to those guest episodes, I highly recommend you do, they are fantastic.
And this season of the podcast that also had me launching my debut book, From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion, A Compassionate Guide to Creating a Thriving Life. Whilst there has been deep sadness. At this time, there has also been a lot of joy and many things to celebrate.
I wish you and your loved ones a beautiful end to 2025. And a wonderful 2026.
Be present to your life.
Let the people you love know that you love them.
And if you’re a hugger, Hug the people you love, including yourself.
It’s been an absolute pleasure to bring you another season. I look forward to bringing you Season 10. We will be back mid-January with more great episodes. In the meantime, go well and go gently with yourselves. Bye.
Thanks for sharing this time with me today. I hope it’s been helpful and supportive. If there’s been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I encourage you to share it with your business besties so they can benefit too. Shares, ratings, and reviews really help to increase awareness and reach of the podcast, meaning more people can benefit from the information. I really appreciate you taking the time. If you’d like to know about the ways we can work together, check out my website at drhaleydquinn.com. I’ll pop the link in the show notes, and you can also join my mailing list from there and be kept up to date with all that is happening.
I do need to say, because you know, legal stuff, this podcast is solely for the purpose of education and entertainment. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for individual advice or advice of health professionals or other qualified professionals. Okay, now we’ve got that formal stuff out of the way. I love hearing from listeners, so don’t be shy. Reach out and let me know your thoughts on the episode or what else you’d like to hear about.
I wish you well in your relationship with yourself and your business, and may you go well and go gently. And remember, if you thrive, your business will too.