This transcript is computer generated and may contain errors and not be an exact representation of the audio
Hi this is Welcome to Self® and I’m your host, Dr Hayley D Quinn, the anti-burnout business coach. I’m a speaker, author, former clinical psychologist and a late identified auDHDer.
Welcome to Self ® is a podcast for business owners like you who want success but not at the cost of your well-being. This is about transforming self and transforming business. I’ll be here to remind you that you’re human first and as well as being a business owner, you have different roles in your life that need your attention and to manage those well, you need to take care of yourself in the best way possible.
Here you’ll learn about practices that’ll help you navigate not just your business but your non-work life as well and you’ll realise that you’re not alone in the ways you struggle. You’ll have your curiosity piqued on various topics as I chat with wonderful guests and bring you solo bite-sized episodes.
I’m here for service-based business owners and entrepreneurs like you, to help you increase your self-care and compassion, change your relationship with yourself and your business, and elevate your business to a new level so you can live the full and meaningful life you desire.
This is a place of nourishment, growth and helpful information. A place where you can learn ways to assist you and your business to thrive.
We’ll talk all things mindset, strategy and well-being and I’m so excited you’re here. If you haven’t already, go and hit subscribe so you don’t miss an episode.
So, let’s get started
Hi and welcome to another episode, and my first guest of this season, I’m thrilled to have my dear friend Nyssa ray of Nyssa Ray recording with me here today. Nyssa is an award winning music producer, composer, songwriter and multi instrumentalist. In fact, I’m not sure there’s an instrument she can’t play, although she tells me there are a couple. Nyssa runs a boutique Recording and production studio where she produces music for independent artists and bands, as well as composing music for media, Nyssa has been in the music industry from a young age, even in the womb with a mum who was singing in rock cover bands whilst pregnant with Nyssa. Nyssa has been on The Voice Australian Idol and has won a Queensland Music Award. Performing is definitely in her blood. And if that’s not enough, Nyssa is also the lead guitarist of the band love thrills, as well as being so involved in the music industry, Nyssa also brings her audio skills to small businesses and podcast hosts like me to make their content sound amazing. It’s my absolute pleasure to welcome Nyssa to the podcast. Hey Nyssa, Hi. Thanks so much for coming on.
Nyssa Ray 03:06
Hayley, what a pleasure to be on this side of the process.
Hayley Quinn 03:11
And we have had a chat that even though you are the podcast editor, you’re not allowed to edit out the bits of yourself that you don’t like the sound of because I know oftentimes when people hear themselves. They’re kind of like, oh, I don’t like that. And you’ve been told you’re not allowed to edit those out by
Nyssa Ray 03:27
the boss herself. Yeah, I might have to say I’ve got the power here.
Hayley Quinn 03:37
So true. Anyway, do you want to start by telling us a little bit more about yourself, how you got into doing what you’re doing, because I know you didn’t start as somebody who has your own studio, producing music.
Nyssa Ray 03:51
No, my start was performing music and singing. So I just really wanted to be, you know, I just wanted to be Tina arena. So I was a 87 born baby, giving my age away, but I just found this person to be everything that was a strong woman in the music industry, even at seven, when I discovered her voice and her passion and power, in her voice. I was like, I want to be I want to be you. So I just followed that path to whatever I needed to do. And my mum and dad were amazing, and they always supported me. And you know, would take me to things like the voice auditions or Australian Idol back in high school. And I get pretty far, but it just it wasn’t the path that I eventually ended up landing in. Even though I was always performing and gigging and making a living out of singing and playing guitar and live music was always just part of my world. Yeah. You know, we’re fast forwarding to when COVID hit and all of that kind of stuff really, really shut down, and I wasn’t able to do that job. And then I had, I had a my father in law built me this studio that you see me in right now in the backyard, in a shipping container, just so I could have somewhere that I could just have as my own space and very supportive people in my world, as you can imagine, as you know, and yeah, and then it COVID Hit, and I wasn’t able to perform. So I would then just come in here and start creating because I needed to create, because that’s what I’ve been doing my whole life, and I would do it forever. And I love audio. You know, anything to do with audio and music, I’m there, and I would come in and record and just my stuff, my own writings, my own compositions, put them out into the world on Spotify for no one to hear. Or my mom would hear it and send me a message.
Hayley Quinn 06:07
Hayley would
Nyssa Ray 06:10
message me when we first, when we first connected, that you were wonderful support. But yeah, we, I didn’t. I didn’t need to do that anymore because I couldn’t the performing. And then so I was just, you know, in the studio by myself. And then it turned into people finding out that I had this space and had this skill and was able to make things sound really good. It’s taken me a while to even be able to say those words out loud and be confident and sit with them as well. I’d make things sound good, then they would book me to come in my friends who were not working either in the music industry anymore, because,
Hayley Quinn 06:51
gosh, that was such a hard time.
Nyssa Ray 06:53
Yeah, yeah, but they needed a release, because they weren’t able to, one, make a living, but two, get their creative release, yeah, like they could play in their bedroom, but it was the connection that they were missing. So when we were starting to, you know, be able to be in the same room as each other, this is where the studio grew into a business. So went from hobby to the business, and I had a small child at the same at the time, at that time, so it kind of really worked really well, because being a musician working late nights is not conducive to being a parent, yeah? Like you’re just really tired, yeah. So they’re normal, and I’m naturally a morning person, go figure. And so it just didn’t work. So having the studio and having my muso friends come and record with me, it was just like bliss. And I just loved it. And I haven’t gone back. So i i Only step out of the studio when I really, really want to play music. It’s not, I don’t need to play music to make a living to pay the rent or the mortgage. It’s it’s gone back to it’s just fun now, but that’s where the studio started, and it’s grown from the music production into what you just said in your intro. Thank you for that, into other audio ventures and other people wanting to be sounding better than what they are. We’ve got all the gear. They can record their own podcasts, as you know, and they come and find me and go, How do I sound better? That’s another service I offer these days. So that’s what I’m doing.
Hayley Quinn 08:33
Yeah, that’s fantastic. Gosh, you touch on so many things there. I mean, COVID was such a difficult time for so many people, but certainly in the arts. I mean, that was just devastating for people, wasn’t it? Because there were no option. Venues closed down. There was just no gatherings. And I think oftentimes people find themselves in new businesses through necessity, right? Something happens, and it’s like, okay? And for some people, it’s like, oh, well, this has happened. My business is not going to succeed because it can’t. And they, they really stay in that space and struggle, and then other people, like yourself kind of go, okay, so what do I need to do differently? Something needs to change. I need to evolve with the new circumstance. And you’ve done that so very well. But then also, you know, speaking about the importance of connection with people that, again, COVID was we were pretty lucky in Queensland, right? You and I both in Queensland, yeah. But even there, connection was difficult, and you found a way to bring connection back into your business and your your kind of music space. And I think that’s such an important thing as well, isn’t it for for women in business, for anybody in business as well. And then, you know, touching on the piece around parenting, and you, you’ve, in the past year, become a solo parent. And I. As a solo parent for many years, 13 years when my boy was little, and you have to navigate all these things. So how do you how do you manage that?
Nyssa Ray 10:16
I’m not editing that out because that sigh is real.
Hayley Quinn 10:19
Yeah, I was going to say that, and that is my answer, very valid one.
Nyssa Ray 10:29
At times I think I manage it quite well, and at other times I feel like I’m dropping balls, left, right and center, and at other times I’m asking for help, and other times I’m not, and other like, it is always ebbing and flowing. Yeah, yeah. The last year has been a big change with becoming a solo parent and a single, single mum, and having the the hobby side of the business, the love of doing what I do. I would literally do this job for free, yeah, but I can’t, you, can’t you? I’m a single mom. There’s, I live in society. I need to, I need to make this thing work. And so there are, yeah, the struggle is definitely real. It’s like you’re just juggling all these things. Because I’m also a creative person, and I have to say out loud, I’m like you, Hayley, I’m an ADHD,
Hayley Quinn 11:34
yeah, and I was just adds to the fun.
Nyssa Ray 11:37
Oh, my God, life is so much fun or
Hayley Quinn 11:39
not, and can I, you know, and seriously though, that can actually really complicate things, can’t it? Because whilst there can be some things about your ADHD which I’m sure are really valuable and helpful to you in what you do, there’ll also be aspects of that that really make that challenging. And I think it’s important when we do talk about neurodivergence and things like ADHD, because a lot of people were like, oh, it’s your superpower. And it’s like, yeah, on a Tuesday,
Nyssa Ray 12:11
yeah, staining that superpower is really hard, yeah, yeah. And there is this you talk about burnout a lot, and I, I being in being someone who is creative and have ADHD and have a lot of ideas running a lot of the time, because I literally have to grab said guitar and create on the spot, because that’s the time I Have to do that, and that’s taken a long there’s there’s not an emotional drive. It just has to be done, and I’ve gotta get the emotion and get the dopamine happening to then create and do the thing, or sit and listen to a podcast calmly and then edit the dialog that I may not be interested in, or it’s not a topic that I would generally go and want to listen to, but they’re a client. And then there’s finding ways to manage where my time and my energy kind of goes ping, and then remembering to write that ping moment in my diary to go. That’s when I’m best at editing audio books. That’s when I’m best at editing dialog and listening for the smallest little thing, like you. I’m going to share something with your with our listeners right now that you might hear like my tongue hits the top of my teeth. Yeah, and there’s going to be a little bit lower I’ll keep that in Note to self. Don’t edit that out, just so you can hear it. But that takes a lot of focus. Yeah, that and focus for an ADHD is tricky, yeah, but we’re a fun mum and we live in the moment, so there’s all that’s the superpower and the creative stuff. But then when you are a business owner, yeah, and you have to focus, and you have to get back to the email that’s been sitting there for three days, yeah, without going into overwhelm and go, I don’t know what to say, or I can’t sit still. I like that. That struggle is very real, yeah?
Hayley Quinn 14:18
And honestly, you know that that kind of I need to be creative at 1045, on Wednesday, like that’s not normally how creativity works. Is it like creativity really asks us for spaciousness and time to settle and percolate. And what you’re saying is, because you have all these multiple roles, you literally have to have creativity on demand, which just adds to you know, you are a remarkable woman. You really are. And I love that at the start, you said, you know, at the. Says, I’m good at this, and it’s and you acknowledge that it’s been something that has taken you time up until recently to be able to acknowledge that. But I love it when women can actually own their power and say, This is what I do, and I am good at this. Because unfortunately, I think we’re all very aware that women are very socialized to stay small, be quiet. Don’t brag. For goodness sake. You know, don’t get too big for your boots and all that stuff. And you are a remarkable woman. You’re doing so many things. You do them so well. And I love that you recognize that in yourself. But gee, it’s it really must be a challenge. What do you think is the biggest challenge for you? Or does that change? Is there a biggest challenge? Or does that kind of change day to day, week to week always
Nyssa Ray 15:51
changes? Yeah, much like the ADHD thing, everything changes. Nothing is ever consistent, which in business is all you’ll ever read in a book that you need to be to make anything grow consistent. Be consistent. Keep showing up. Be consistent. Keep doing the thing, even if you don’t want to keep doing the thing. And so that I just wake up every day thinking, Well, I didn’t sleep well last night because I was too busy writing a song, or, you know, I don’t know, playing guitar, learning this new riff that I just felt like I wanted to do. Oh, it’s one o’clock in the morning. Uh oh, oopsies, um, but I have a session booked in at 10 o’clock. It’s like going to the gym. Thinking about doing it is harder than actually, then being in the moment and getting your place to being in the moment and being present with whatever the thing is. And then it runs like a tap. So creativity, all the process then runs like the tap, but getting to the process sometimes feels heavier than actually doing the thing. Yeah? So think I if I do less thinking, Yeah, I do let I do more doing, yeah. And
Hayley Quinn 17:13
I think, you know, I think you speak to the fact we can get really caught in our threat system, can’t we, when we start to think about these things, particularly if it is something that feels heavy or challenging, we can get caught up in our threat system, which makes it even harder then to to progress, and we get caught in that procrastination. But if we can be more present and just one foot in front of the other, okay, now’s the next thing I need to do, but that’s not always easy, and I think you know you spoke to you the business books that say, just do just do it like this. Just do it like that. And I often question whether they are acknowledging different brain types and different ways people work, and certainly in the in the way I work with people, and because I was, like, identified as autistic. ADHD, this has become even more important, but I’ve always worked in a way that we’re all human first, whilst we are very, very similar and we’re more the same than we are different in lots of ways, but we are different and we have different challenges, and we have different strengths. And I think it’s so important that we get to know ourselves, so that we can work in a way that works best for us and anybody I work with, is that is where I start. And you were saying, you know, if you notice the ping, this is the ping, oh, okay, it’s morning, or it’s afternoon, or it’s whatever time or I’m in this particular context, I’m going to note that down, because for future, I’m going to realize actually, if I want to go and do that creative thing, or I want to do that really boring admin task or whatever you’ve got to do, that’s the time that’s probably going to be premium for you.
Nyssa Ray 18:56
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And learning from people like like you who have a similar brain type to me, but you you might be just a little bit further along in your journey in life. And I learn a lot from people like yourself, like you have been that single parent, yeah, and your child is now, you know a grown man who’s lovely. I’ve met him. He’s wonderful. Hope you listen to this episode, and my child is like, is seven. You know, at the time of recording this, and you’ve run, you’ve you are running a successful business, you your communication levels. I see your emails. I see the way you work, because I work with you. Sometimes I I can notice where I fall short, and because maybe it’s that what that woman thing of always wanting to be better, do better or mask so no one finds out that I have ADHD. Or, you know, back when I was at school, I wasn’t diagnosed at all, either, like you. Um, but I also had another adversity with dyslexia, and that’s reading. Yeah? The whole world revolves around email, yeah, um, that’s in just the whole masking and and pretending that I’ve got this, really I don’t, but in the pretending I’m I’m not able to sit with what I can do,
Hayley Quinn 20:24
yeah, oh, I love that when I spoke, yeah, I love that you’ve spoken about that. Because, you know, when we’re trying to fit in, when we’re trying to go with the status quo, when we’re trying to deny who we are and how we are, we just complicate things and put extra barriers in place. And I know for you, I remember getting an email from you when we very first connected, and you started doing my podcast, and I got an email from you, and along the bottom you’d put something along the lines of, please excuse if there’s any typing, any errors within this. I have dyslexia, and music is my first language, and I read it, and even as I do that now, excuse me. Goosebumps. And I was like, Oh, I love that so much. And that inspired me when I was doing a training to acknowledge some of my difficulties, and said to my audience, you may notice that I will be reading some of the stuff. That’s because sometimes my brain gets foggy and I might forget things. And I want to make sure I share with you everything that I want to share with you. So if you think I’m reading I am, and I thank you for that, because reading your email gave me permission to say this is who I am, and this is how I sometimes struggle, but I am really good at what I do, so stick around, but just let me use the things I need to deliver for you, the best thing I can deliver for you. So thank you.
Nyssa Ray 22:09
Yes. So I love that because it is tricky. It is tricky because you resist that so much, telling people that, oh, you’re just not as good as someone that you’re sitting next to, or who’s doing the same role as you, or the other people in your industry who don’t, who just see you as like the flaky one, yeah, or see you as the one that can’t remember stuff, so they have to, they keep reiterating everything all the time, and They send you heaps of messages, and then it’s just then it’s just an overwhelm hit because they’re trying to help you, but because you haven’t been honest and you don’t have you may I may not, have had my system set up, or the way that I was I wasn’t being able, I was just pretending to be like them, yeah, but then I keep forgetting things, and rather than apologizing or rather than owning it and go, whoop, sorry about that. Or this is what happened. I know I’m not going to let that happen again today. And then, you know, realize that I need to do a few more little things to help my memory come back to something that is not no longer in front of my face or in my moment, or it’s not part of the melody I’ve just created, whatever. Um, so in, in, in that email, I resisted that little email signature. So thanks for saying that out loud that you you were inspired by it, because it took me a long time to say, Yes, I’ll put that email signature on my email because it wasn’t written by me, because it couldn’t have been written by me. Yeah, I would have never, ever written it. Yeah,
Hayley Quinn 23:48
I think that’s so important, is it? So anybody listening? If there’s something you’re resisting about who you are and how you operate and would be helpful to share, but you feel scared, I hope this inspires you to take the action that’s going to make things easier for you as well,
Speaker 1 24:07
yeah, and easier for other people to see who you really are, yeah, and then there’s less pressure. So I have to thank, I have to thank my ex wife, BEC, for being potentially neurotypical, and noticing where we were so different, why we were so different, and having a little bit more she spent more time researching, whereas I spent more time avoiding, yeah, and very articulately, because dyslexia is part of my background and reading and writing is tricky. So I could play you a song and tell you how I’m feeling through the song, but to tell you or write it, to tell you is different, but to write it, there’s a block there. So thanks to Beck for writing that for me. And thank you to my past self, who went, Okay. It take a breath. So I’ve had a few people mention that email signature and that it’s given them a little bit more kind of grace.
Hayley Quinn 25:08
Yeah, fantastic. And again, I think it speaks to, you know, asking for help. And you mentioned that there’s sometimes you ask for help and there’s sometimes you don’t. And I think that’s true for all of us, and I know for me, throughout my life, I find it very difficult to ask for help, and over the, you know, quite a few years now, that’s something I’ve practiced, and I continue to practice, and still have times where I feel uncomfortable, depending what it is, or perhaps on the day of how I’m feeling, if I’m feeling less resilient, and asking for help actually is harder, and I think the research speaks to this as well. Like when people need the help the most. It can be the time when it’s the hardest to ask for it. But I think it’s so important, isn’t it, because we don’t have the skills, nor do we need to have the skills to do everything. And again, it’s almost like, I think, as women, we’ve had these mixed messages of, don’t be too much and don’t really be anything, just be a bit quiet and in the shadows. Be super warm, but be superwoman. Don’t be too much, but be enough. Be more than enough. All that stuff is so confusing, and I think having conversations like this is really important for us to talk about and let other people realize that we do struggle with this, but it’s so important to be able to be with the discomfort of that, because what’s at the other end of that can really be great growth, whether that’s personally or in your business, whatever it might be,
Nyssa Ray 26:38
yes, Yeah, or connecting with another person who sees you, yeah, and then makes you feel comfortable, because connecting with you in in the work way was is much different now that I can call you my friend, yeah, and Now the work, the work is actually more enriched. And everything that you speak about, like the guests you’ve had on your podcast, they’re amazing, and I’m the lucky one. I’m the lucky one who gets to listen to it first. I’m the editor. And there’s just so many very, very intriguing brains within women and the way that they see the world and the way that they show up when they’ve had when when they’re single parents, or when their parents, or when their mums, or when they’ve got some thing standing in their way. They just, when you get to a certain point, you just don’t let whatever is in your way stay there for too long,
Hayley Quinn 27:43
yeah, absolute powerhouse of so much untapped things in women out there. Hey,
Nyssa Ray 27:54
amazing.
Hayley Quinn 27:56
So given that you are a music, music producer and a composer and a songwriter and a singer, and you play like nearly every instrument on the planet.
Nyssa Ray 28:09
Definitely tell I’ve got ADHD everyone buy a list like
Hayley Quinn 28:15
that. And you do, you know, you work with small businesses like you. You really help me like I, I don’t want to do all the back end stuff of my podcast. I love doing the podcast. I love getting the information out to people. I love interviewing guests, but I like to hit record and then hit end and upload it and not really think about it again. And that’s where you come in for me, where you can, you know, edit that and have that all out in the world for me, which is fantastic. So this is a service you offer to small businesses and podcast hosts. Because I guess not everybody that runs a podcast is a business owner. Lots of different people are doing podcasts right now,
Nyssa Ray 28:57
Yep, yeah, it, it is one of those things that in business, it’s kind of a nice to have. But when you really think about content as a as a marketing tool, it’s now a need to have, because there’s just so many people who listen to it for enjoyment, for education. It’s just it’s valuable to the to your potential client, customer, whatever it is, or Yeah, entertainment like it’s just everywhere. And the fact that, the fact that I don’t have one right now is a problem, you know, but thanks for bringing me on yours so I can have at least a chance to speak on the microphone, rather than just edit what is spoken in the microphone. Yeah, but, yeah, it’s so important. But what? What is more important too, and is having that listener experience, yeah, good quality audio so they don’t turn it off. Yeah?
Hayley Quinn 29:59
Yeah, absolutely, because these days, we can do most things ourselves, can’t we? In business, there’s software for this, there’s AI for that. There’s all sorts of things. And, you know, there’s varying opinions on AI and what that means for human jobs and what that means for the environment. But that’s not what we’re really talking about today. But I think just because we can do all these things ourselves doesn’t mean we should do all these things ourselves. Because as business owners, I think one of the important things for us to think about, particularly when we have other roles in our non work life. Is, where can we actually lighten the load for ourselves so we can focus on the things that really only we can do? Yes, I think this is where, if you’ve got a podcast, yes, you can sit and edit. And if you’re not a editor, and you’re not, you know, you don’t do that. It’s going to take you probably quite a long time. So if they can upload it to somebody like yourself, you can then be focusing back in on other things in your business that need your attention 100%
Nyssa Ray 31:17
I think there are. There have been a few people that I’ve worked with just in this the Getting Started phase, which is going into their space and helping them set up their room, just so at least the what audio is coming into that microphone that they’ve bought or that they could afford at the time is as good as it possibly can be before it gets to me, because once something is like, if you’ve got a stain on a piece of clothing, and it’s been there for ages, and you’re never going to get that stain out. And I’m only saying that because I’m currently got a lot of washing on, you know, like, that’s, you know, the analogy that would come out. But it’s like audio once you’ve got, if I can make it sound as good as I possibly can, but there is a ceiling. If the audio is just really bad going coming to me first, yeah? So in all of that knowledge of me going into and setting up your space, if we live locally, I do that, or we do it over zoom and I, you know, we, I give you a checklist of what to buy within your budget. Like it can be a big thing or it could be a little thing, yeah, but if you were to do all of that research, but then have all the years of me being in the audio industry, yeah, then have to, then go and do purchase the thing and that, like, it would just take you forever, and you’d never start that’s,
Hayley Quinn 32:34
that’s such an amazing service. And I was just thinking for any of the other neuro divergent brains out there having a listen, you can go do that research yourself, and you know you’re going to go down a rabbit hole that’s got nothing to do with podcast equipment. So it’s probably going to take you 10 times or more.
Nyssa Ray 32:57
Good on you for having the hyper focus to even start the research. But yes, that that hyper focus will will lapse, and you will go down a rabbit hole that I don’t know. You’ll you’ll start looking
Hayley Quinn 33:11
at drink bottles. Oh, that’s fantastic. So you can literally help people from the startup of how to get the audio set so what sort of mic they might need that kind of thing right through to editing and getting their podcast actually up on platforms and out onto Apple Spotify all the things. Yeah,
Nyssa Ray 33:30
yeah, that’s fantastic, yeah, because it’s, there’s phases, there’s always phases in in a project. And we, you know, a podcast is just a project like anything else, like audio production would be for a music client or an artist. They’ve written a song, if I put it back into another way, like there’s the same thing applies. They’ve written a song, they’ve got this bedroom recording on their mobile phone, and then they want to make it into something that sounds radio ready, or Spotify ready, or whatever their goal is, podcasts are the same, but you’re not in the music. You’re not in the audio space. So our event language has my language to you has to change too, yeah, because you don’t really want to know about a wave length distance between how you’ve got it like, if you stand really close, you’re going to hear like, but if you have this distance, then you sound like an actual human, like all those things like it. There’s so much it. There’s so much that goes into the learning of it, and being ADHD has allowed me to like this whole world that I’m in. Is, is my hyper focus? Yeah, I’ve got two hyper focuses in my life. I know that for sure. Now it’s music and audio and my son, Bennett, like, That’s it, and then everything else kind of just goes in and out of hyper focus. But they’re the ones that have really stuck, yeah, and thank goodness, because imagine if the other one, the latter one, didn’t stick. No. Yeah, and like, like my mum did for me, you know, if he wanted to be musically inclined, run with that, you know, whatever. Just go, but it’s the everything has a phase. Back to my, my point, you know, you’ve, you’ve got your podcast idea, then rabbit hole you’ve got, you’ve got it recorded on your hard drive, on your Mac computer. Yeah. Then what rabbit hole? And the thing like, you could be a year or two before you even start, but yeah, you get it started, flick it over to someone who’s got all of that background knowledge anyway, and it’s done, yeah? And
Hayley Quinn 35:42
then you get to do, like I do, the fun parts where you’re just recording the episodes or interviewing great guests, yeah. And you know that that for me, I think if I was doing everything I did it for a little while, not the editing you’ve always done my editing, but some of the uploading and stuff. But I was like, if I had to do that, I wouldn’t probably continue with the podcast, which would be such a shame. Yeah,
Nyssa Ray 36:04
yeah. And it would be a shame for your listeners too, because they get so much value out of what you say and the guests that you’ve got on.
Hayley Quinn 36:13
So before we go, we Oh, two questions. Two questions. Actually, I’ve got more than two questions. There you go. You see, there goes my brain. Um, what would be the main thing you think do you do for yourself to help take care of you? Like, what’s one of your like, non negotiable? I absolutely have to do this, otherwise it’s all really not going to be good.
Nyssa Ray 36:39
Music. Music, yeah, yeah. And it doesn’t. It doesn’t have to be the same every day, yeah, but lucky for me, I get to do that every day. Yeah, I’ve built that. Like, I’m very proud. I’ve built that. I’ve built that, yes, excuse me. And that would be my, my thing. But there comes the possible burnout, because I love it so much possible. So to come to contrast the the overworking in something that I don’t feel as work, it’s just fun and enjoy, enjoying, enjoyable. Then the other thing that I would do is play and literally go stand up paddleboarding, go to the beach, be outside, something that is completely different to where I sit right now in my little studio box, or people in connecting with humans. So I don’t really know what I’ve been asked that so many times in the past, I don’t know. Decade of what do I do for my self care? I don’t get massages. I’m just not like that.
Hayley Quinn 37:59
I just Yeah, but that’s, that’s such surface level self care. I mean, that’s what we see on social media, right? Self Care is, have a bubble bath, have a spa day, which I’m all for. I like all that stuff, yeah. And so
Nyssa Ray 38:13
it might not be surface level to like for you, that’s something that you do. You love that.
Hayley Quinn 38:18
But I think when I say that. What I mean is, for me, self care is that is that deeper journey where and you speak to it, it’s connecting with yourself. Music is you, you are music and music is you like music has been with you in utero. When you were in utero, music started for you, yeah. So that’s really that coming back to you and who you are, isn’t it, and then understanding the other thing I need is fun and being outdoors. So for me, self care is that connection with self and and knowing who you are and checking in regularly, and then taking action on what it is that you need in that moment, and it might be like for me, I do go and have a regular facial because it’s time to just really relax. And I wear a wearable, and it loves it when I go for massages and facials, like, you know, everything, just my whole nervous system just settles down, and it’s fantastic, yeah, but, it’s that knowing yourself, because for somebody else, that could actually cause stress. Yes. So if I was to say, well, actually, ne I think you should start going for a massage every other week. That would be good for your self care, and if you going for a massage was stressful, well, it’s not self care at all. Is it
Nyssa Ray 39:40
be awful? No, definitely not. I don’t think it would ever be stressful, because I cannot, I can’t see that it would be a stressful thing to do. But I just, I would find that I’d be wasting my time. That’s just how I would feel. Yeah, and, and really, what, what I would get out of that massage? Would be just having a chat to the person massaging me. It wouldn’t be silent like it would be the conversation, a deep conversation, like meeting a new person, like that also really lights me up and makes me feel good inside. You know,
Hayley Quinn 40:15
again, knowing yourself, isn’t it? It’s like, yeah, you have that connection. I have one question that will you already know what this question is, because you’ve edited every single podcast that I have ever done and then. But before I ask my final question, given that you are in a band, lead guitarist of the band Love Thrills, who have a new single coming out very soon. And no, this isn’t a music podcast, but Hello,
Nyssa Ray 40:46
on your podcast,
Hayley Quinn 40:47
I think it might be. I think it may have just come out. When this airs, it’ll already be out. So that’s exciting. Just want to give a shout out to your band, really? And, yeah. So if people want to go follow along, Love Thrills, they’re on Instagram, and their music is on Spotify, and wherever else you listen to music,
Nyssa Ray 41:14
yeah, yeah. I think that song called Magic, yeah, yeah. You got to hear the song. You got to hear the song first, didn’t you? Hayley, I
Hayley Quinn 41:22
did. I was like you. But for the music industry, listen to the song before anyone else, which is really exciting.
Nyssa Ray 41:29
Mix five was the one the band signed off on.
Hayley Quinn 41:35
Fantastic. And if anyone listening happens to be in Brisbane or around the Sunshine Coast, Love Thrills. Do have various gigs going on, so always keep an eye out for them as well. Thanks for that. Getting back to my final question, if you were to meet your 80 year old self today, what do you think she’d say to you?
Nyssa Ray 42:00
Don’t sweat the small stuff, and also many things, but that would be the biggest thing, like, Don’t overthink stuff, even though that’s innately what ADHD people do with it. They’re in, they’re in a constant. Their brain never shuts up, and idea generation never ceases, unless they’re hyper focused on something. Yeah, be Yeah, just, just a little the little things matter. The little things matter, but you don’t need to worry about them.
Hayley Quinn 42:48
Yeah? Oh, I love that. And it’s so true, isn’t it? Yeah,
Nyssa Ray 42:50
I always said the little things of, of the little things of, say, sitting with nothing to do, so whatever, whatever could happen in that moment could just happen. And it’s the little things of being available for school pickup every day. Yeah, it’s the little things I don’t if he wants to, you know, go to soccer, and if Bennet wants to go to soccer, and you know he’s having a great time, and I didn’t cook dinner that night, so we just get dinner out. That’s okay. Absolutely not, yeah, if we’re, if we’re just flexible with it works for me to be flexible, but I also know that there are people who don’t generate in that way, but that’s okay too. So you be them. It’s like that book that’s just come out, the let them book. You haven’t read that yet, but everybody’s telling me to read it, but you be that. You be you. Be them. We’re fine, yeah,
Hayley Quinn 43:59
yeah, yeah, absolutely. I love that. That’s so lovely. Nyssa, it has been an absolute pleasure to have you on as a guest, after you have supported and helped me get this podcast out the work out into the world since I think 2021, I think we’ve been going this is, this will be episode. I think, I think this will be episode 75 when it when it comes out, and I couldn’t have done it without you. But also thanks for sharing your wisdom and being so open and transparent about who you are and how you operate in the world. This has been such a pleasure chatting, and I just know that people are really going to get some benefit from this. So thank you so much.
Nyssa Ray 44:43
Oh, I’m so grateful to be asked to be on Thank you. Thanks for working with me. And likewise, everything you just said, I can’t remember all the points, but that’s how I feel about you. Thanks being open, transparent, and, yeah, it’s just it’s so nice to have you as a friend. And. And as a business kind of accountability partner sometimes and and fellow single parent,
Thanks for sharing this time with me today, I hope it’s been helpful and supportive.
If there’s been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I encourage you to share it with your business besties so they can benefit too. Shares, ratings and reviews really help to increase awareness and reach of the podcast, meaning more people can benefit from the information. I really appreciate you taking the time.
If you’d like to know about the ways we can work together, check out my website at drhayleydquinn.com, I’ll pop the link in the show notes, and you can also join my mailing list from there and be kept up to date with all that is happening.
I do need to say (because you know legal stuff), this podcast is solely for the purpose of education and entertainment. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for individual advice or advice of health professionals or other qualified professionals.
OK now we’ve got that formal stuff out of the way, I love hearing from listeners so don’t be shy, reach out and let me know your thoughts on the episode or what else you’d like to hear about. I wish you well in your relationship with yourself and your business and may you go well and go gently and remember if you thrive your business will too!
Nyssa’s Details:
https://nyssarayrecordings.com/epk
Links to Dr Hayley D Quinn Resources
Reclaim Your Time and Energy: 6 Key Boundaries for Women Business Owners
Download here, completely FREE! https://drhayleydquinn.com/resources/
Link to podcast mailing list: https://drhayleydquinn.com/podcast/
Group Coaching Waitlist: https://drhayleydquinn.myflodesk.com/timetothrivewaitlist
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drhayleydquinn
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedIn.com/in/dr-hayley-d-quinn-43386533
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drhayleydquinn
