This transcript is computer generated and may contain errors and not be an exact representation of the audio
Hi this is Welcome to Self® and I’m your host, Dr Hayley D Quinn, the anti-burnout business coach. I’m a speaker, author, former clinical psychologist and a late identified auDHDer.
Welcome to Self ® is a podcast for business owners like you who want success but not at the cost of your well-being. This is about transforming self and transforming business. I’ll be here to remind you that you’re human first and as well as being a business owner, you have different roles in your life that need your attention and to manage those well, you need to take care of yourself in the best way possible.
Here you’ll learn about practices that’ll help you navigate not just your business but your non-work life as well and you’ll realise that you’re not alone in the ways you struggle. You’ll have your curiosity piqued on various topics as I chat with wonderful guests and bring you solo bite-sized episodes.
I’m here for service-based business owners and entrepreneurs like you, to help you increase your self-care and compassion, change your relationship with yourself and your business, and elevate your business to a new level so you can live the full and meaningful life you desire.
This is a place of nourishment, growth and helpful information. A place where you can learn ways to assist you and your business to thrive.
We’ll talk all things mindset, strategy and well-being and I’m so excited you’re here. If you haven’t already, go and hit subscribe so you don’t miss an episode.
So, let’s get started
Hi and welcome to another episode. It’s great to be back. If you haven’t already subscribed to the podcast it would be really great if you did, it really does help other people hear about it. Which means other women get to hear this useful information.
So today, we’ve got another bite-sized business episode. So it’s just going to be a short one, and I want to talk about slowing down for those of you who have listened to me for some time. Now you’ll know I talk about this a lot, but it’s not that easy, right?
A lot of stuff can start to show up when we go from being very busy to starting to practice slowing down and I think it’s important that we talk about it, one to normalize it and validate that if this is what you’re feeling, you’re not alone. A lot of people, particularly women, that I speak to find it really hard to slow down and take time for themselves.
So you might notice, if you’re somebody who is used to being very busy, you’re a high achieving woman that when you actually decide to take time for yourself, or you manage to take time for yourself and actually slow down that you find yourself experiencing feelings perhaps you don’t normally experience. You might find yourself getting more fidgety, you might have a sense of discomfort. You might start having things show up like old beliefs, or perhaps messages that you’ve had throughout your life.
Maybe when you were young, if you were sat around watching telly or not being productive at home, perhaps you had a parent that would say something to you. You know – Don’t be so lazy. Don’t sit around. Get outside. Do something. Yeah.
Maybe you had experiences where in a relationship you took time to rest, and you would be criticized for that. So I think it’s important that we reflect on. What is it about my own experience that helps me understand why slowing down, taking time for myself and perhaps resting, feels so difficult.
This is really really common among the women that I work with, and certainly in my one-on-one work and in the group Time to Thrive that I run for women business owners. We talk about rest as an asset. We talk about the power of slowing down, but also the fears, blocks, and resistances that get in the way of people being able to do that.
So I want you, next time you’re going to make a decision to actually take it a bit easy, maybe take a day off. Or maybe it’s even just taking some time during the day to slow down and have a rest. I want you to pay attention to what it is that’s showing up for you.
Is this old beliefs? If it is, whose are they? Are they actually yours, or do they belong to somebody else, maybe a parent or a partner, or a friend? And if they’re actually not your beliefs, because we can carry other people’s beliefs around a lot, we get so used to hearing them that they almost become our own. Yeah, we’ve heard them so much. We start believing them to be true. But if we can look at them and really ask ourselves, where has this belief come from? And is it something that is helpful for me to bring forward with me my life? Or is it something that I need to actually put down. Learn to let go of.
If you really tuned in for yourself and asked yourself, what do you think rest means? Why do you think it’s important to sometimes go a bit slower? See what shows up. And it might be different from the beliefs that you’re actually carrying with you.
For some of us resting can feel uncomfortable because of the way you’re wired. Many of the neurodivergent women that I speak to find it hard to just slow down and do nothing. So it’s also about finding things that work for you.
So rest for one person may be stopping, slowing down, literally doing nothing. But maybe for you it is doodling or finding something to do with your hands, or perhaps doing a puzzle or reading a book, so that your mind has got something to do.
And again, it’s about really checking in with yourself. Am I doing this because I just don’t want to be with some discomfort? Or is this what my mind and body needs to actually fully rest? Because rest is going to look different for all of us. And it’s also going to look different at different times.
Sometimes, for me, rest is about really just slowing down, stopping and being quiet. Sometimes it’s sitting and engaging with a show that I’ve been enjoying. Sometimes it’s reading a book or listening to music. Sometimes it’s about getting outside and going for a gentle walk. It looks different at different times on different days for different reasons.
So again, coming back to this premise of get to know yourself really well, understand what’s helpful and harmful, for you, understand what energizes and depletes you, and also be aware of the discomfort that shows up that perhaps you’re wanting to avoid.
If we can get curious about that discomfort, really start to think about. Well, what is it? And what does it mean? Is this something that just feels uncomfortable? And with practice I can be with this more easily? Or is this my mind or body telling me that actually for me, rest and slowing down needs to look a particular way. Think about what works for you.
I invite you to practice slowing down this week. Notice what shows up. Feel free to send me a DM. On socials or flick me an email. I’d love to hear how you go with this. I hope this episode has been helpful for you. If it has share it with somebody else or have a conversation about this with one of your business besties. I think the more we talk about this, the more we normalise that this can be really hard for women in business. The more we can practice, and maybe this is about finding somebody to practice with, the more we can take care of ourselves, and have businesses that are sustainable.
Go well and go gently with yourself, and remember, if you thrive, your business will too.
Thanks for sharing this time with me today, I hope it’s been helpful and supportive.
If there’s been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I encourage you to share it with your business besties so they can benefit too. Shares, ratings and reviews really help to increase awareness and reach of the podcast, meaning more people can benefit from the information. I really appreciate you taking the time.
If you’d like to know about the ways we can work together, check out my website at drhayleydquinn.com, I’ll pop the link in the show notes, and you can also join my mailing list from there and be kept up to date with all that is happening.
I do need to say (because you know legal stuff), this podcast is solely for the purpose of education and entertainment. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for individual advice or advice of health professionals or other qualified professionals.
OK now we’ve got that formal stuff out of the way, I love hearing from listeners so don’t be shy, reach out and let me know your thoughts on the episode or what else you’d like to hear about. I wish you well in your relationship with yourself and your business and may you go well and go gently and remember if you thrive your business will too!
Links to Dr Hayley D Quinn Resources
Reclaim Your Time and Energy: 6 Key Boundaries for Women Business Owners
Download here, completely FREE! https://drhayleydquinn.com/resources/
Link to podcast mailing list: https://drhayleydquinn.com/podcast/
Group Coaching Waitlist: https://drhayleydquinn.myflodesk.com/timetothrivewaitlist
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drhayleydquinn
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedIn.com/in/dr-hayley-d-quinn-43386533
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drhayleydquinn
