This transcript is computer generated and may contain errors and not be an exact representation of the audio
Hi this is Welcome to Self® and I’m your host, Dr Hayley D Quinn, the anti-burnout business coach. I’m a speaker, author, former clinical psychologist and a late identified auDHDer.
Welcome to Self ® is a podcast for business owners like you who want success but not at the cost of your well-being. This is about transforming self and transforming business. I’ll be here to remind you that you’re human first and as well as being a business owner, you have different roles in your life that need your attention and to manage those well, you need to take care of yourself in the best way possible.
Here you’ll learn about practices that’ll help you navigate not just your business but your non-work life as well and you’ll realise that you’re not alone in the ways you struggle. You’ll have your curiosity piqued on various topics as I chat with wonderful guests and bring you solo bite-sized episodes.
I’m here for service-based business owners and entrepreneurs like you, to help you increase your self-care and compassion, change your relationship with yourself and your business, and elevate your business to a new level so you can live the full and meaningful life you desire.
This is a place of nourishment, growth and helpful information. A place where you can learn ways to assist you and your business to thrive.
We’ll talk all things mindset, strategy and well-being and I’m so excited you’re here. If you haven’t already, go and hit subscribe so you don’t miss an episode.
So, let’s get started
Hi! And welcome back. Welcome to another episode. And if you haven’t tuned in to last week’s episode, which was a guest episode with Denise Duffield. Thomas highly recommend you do. It was a fantastic chat, really enjoyed talking with her
Today. I’ve got another solo episode for you and I wanted to talk about when you’re trying to do your best. But it just doesn’t work out for you.
Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt like you’re really trying to do the right thing, whether that’s in your personal life or in your business.
And it just doesn’t go your way. It just isn’t working I’ve recently had. I don’t know if it’s a shoulder injury or what’s going on, but I’ve got a bad shoulder and it’s annoying, and it’s painful and one of the things I had been trying to do is get back into a really good routine of regular exercise.
This is something for me that I can get into the habit, and then it kind of falls away, and I get back into it, and it falls away. But I’m forever trying to find ways to take care of my future self in terms of my physical well-being and I’d started walking on the beach and going for a swim, and I don’t know if that’s what started to aggravate my shoulder.
But what I was told the other day by my exercise physiologist is, you just need to ease up on the swimming, for now, until we really know what’s going on with your shoulder. And I was, I noticed myself getting really quite frustrated. I got a bit teary because I was like, Oh, my gosh! I try so hard to get into these routines and to do the right thing for my health and then something comes up. It used to be that I’d start this regular walking, and then all of a sudden, we’d have like weeks of rain.
So to combat that I went out and got myself a really kind of funky, colorful raincoat. So now, if it rains, I’m like, well, that doesn’t matter. But with my shoulder, I obviously don’t want to aggravate that any anymore.
So it’s like finding the amount of exercise that’s right without doing harm. Finding the right way to do something without it, causing problems somewhere else.
And it got me thinking that it can be like this with business as well. We want to invest in our business, but we also want to make sure we’ve got enough cash flow, so you don’t want to spend too much money, and then you’re left without enough to actually pay the bills or run your business the way you need to.
It can be like this when we’re thinking about outsourcing some things.
We don’t want to have to do every single role in our business, particularly when we’re solopreneurs.
It’s important that we can find ways, whether that’s through automation or assistance from someone else. So we’re not doing everything because that just becomes too much. We can become really overwhelmed. We can become too busy, and it takes the focus away from the tasks that really, only you can do what you bring to your business.
But when we’re thinking about outsourcing, you also want to have an idea of how to do the things that you’re outsourcing, so that you know someone else is doing them adequately that if there’s a query, or there’s a problem that you’ve got some insight into, how to fix that.
So I want you to think about. What are some of the things that you’re trying to do. And again, whether it’s in your personal life or whether it’s in your work life that no matter how much you’re trying. It’s just not working out the way you want to.
And then, when you’ve thought about that, and it might be something that comes to mind really quickly like. For me, it really is my shoulder at the moment. How can I exercise in a way that isn’t going to impact my shoulder negatively?
So think about what that thing is for you.
And then, when you’ve thought about it.
I want you to get creative in thinking. Okay, these are the ways I’ve tried.
They’re not working. Maybe parts of them are working, so don’t throw everything out.
Hold on to the bits that are working, but with the parts that aren’t working. Ask yourself, can I put that down?
Can I come up with some new ways to try and see if they work?
Now I say to try because they might not work either.
Yeah, a lot of the time. This is trial and error. And that’s okay.
We can see a lot online where it’s like. This is the way you must do it. If you do it this way, it’s going to work and I think we can feel quite shamed if it doesn’t work for us.
But the reality is someone else’s way might not work for you.
You need to find the way that works for you as the unique human being that you are.
It can be great to listen to people of how they’re doing things.
But ultimately you’ve got to find a way that works for yourself.
So get creative.
Think about what you can do.
I definitely don’t want to stop doing upper body strength work. What I need to do for the moment is do it using this arm, not this arm.
So that I don’t damage my shoulder and any work I’m doing that might be using this shoulder. I’m making sure I’m only doing that when I’m with the health professionals that I’m working with.
Because they know this part of my body better than I do in terms of the mechanics. What’s going on inside? Obviously I know what it feels like to be in my body and I know what it feels like when I do certain things, and I can give them that feedback.
But I don’t have the understanding or the learning of full anatomy.
I did some of that during my psychology training when I was learning to be a psychologist but they are the expert in that knowledge.
So I can come up with things within my life at home that I can do so. I still feel like I’m exercising like I still want to go in the pool. I don’t want to stop getting in the pool, because then, when I can go back to swimming, I’ll have got out of the habit of getting in the pool.
So now I just kind of float around a bit more, or I do some exercises in the pool that aren’t going to impact my shoulder.
So think about what is that thing for you?
What about it is working and keep that what isn’t working? And how can you replace that with some new ideas and just give yourself permission to try.
I’m going to try this and then see if it works. If it doesn’t, it’s not a failure. It’s just more data for me to work with.
Because the more data we have for anything that we’re doing that gives us the knowledge to move forward or make changes or keep repeating things.
So just keep collecting that data and know that finding a way that works for you is perfectly okay.
Finding a way that works for you is really necessary.
Because the way you do things isn’t necessarily going to be the way that other people do them.
And I think we really can kind of buy into this narrative that there is a perfect way to do something, or there is a right way to do something, or there is a wrong way to do something. And maybe that’s the way that works for you and other people are saying, that’s wrong.
Well, can you give yourself permission to say it’s not wrong? It’s it’s how it works for me.
I’ve found over the years after experiencing a significant burnout and really having to learn how to do things differently.
That giving myself permission to do it. The Hayley way has been one of the greatest gifts that I could have given myself.
It’s allowed me to let go of a lot of the rules and start creating new rules for myself, new ways of doing business.
New ways of engaging in life, new ways of being with myself. And I would love you to be able to do that for yourself as well.
There is no right or wrong way.
The right way is the way that works for you, your business and your life.
I hope you found this helpful, and that you can experiment with the things that you need to experiment with. You can allow yourself some trial and error and if things don’t go to plan that you can bring some self-compassion into this.
That you can treat yourself gently and kindly.
Allow it to not work, and that be okay, and not a reflection on who you are and that when you make a choice, you can remind yourself. The best thing about choice is, you can always make another one.
So if the 1st idea you have doesn’t work well, that’s fine. It was just an idea for you to try.
You can come up with more ideas, and you can try those and if you do come up with ideas and try them.
I can pretty much guarantee you are going to land on something that works well for you and I will also say it might work well, for now.
and at some point you might need to change it because we go through different seasons in life.
We have different things we need to deal with, whether that’s with our health, with our relationships, with our work, with what’s happening in the world.
And it’s okay for something to work for a particular period of time. And then us need to come and review it and check whether it’s still working, and if not, go through this process again and find the way that’s going to work moving forward.
I hope you find your way.
If you need any support, reach out, send me a DM. Or an email.
Always love to hear from people, and I always love to hear from people who are listening to the podcast, you really do never know. And it can be quite lonely over here in podcast land.
Sitting and speaking to your computer and wondering who’s going to listen.
So do reach out, and I always respond to all dms and messages myself, so I’d love to hear from you.
In the meantime, go well and go gently. and I’ll see you again next week for the final episode of the season.
Take care, bye.
Thanks for sharing this time with me today, I hope it’s been helpful and supportive.
If there’s been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I encourage you to share it with your business besties so they can benefit too. Shares, ratings and reviews really help to increase awareness and reach of the podcast, meaning more people can benefit from the information. I really appreciate you taking the time.
If you’d like to know about the ways we can work together, check out my website at drhayleydquinn.com, I’ll pop the link in the show notes, and you can also join my mailing list from there and be kept up to date with all that is happening.
I do need to say (because you know legal stuff), this podcast is solely for the purpose of education and entertainment. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for individual advice or advice of health professionals or other qualified professionals.
OK now we’ve got that formal stuff out of the way, I love hearing from listeners so don’t be shy, reach out and let me know your thoughts on the episode or what else you’d like to hear about. I wish you well in your relationship with yourself and your business and may you go well and go gently and remember if you thrive your business will too!
Links to Dr Hayley D Quinn Resources
Reclaim Your Time and Energy: 6 Key Boundaries for Women Business Owners
Download here, completely FREE! https://drhayleydquinn.com/resources/
Link to podcast mailing list: https://drhayleydquinn.com/podcast/
Group Coaching Waitlist: https://drhayleydquinn.myflodesk.com/timetothrivewaitlist
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drhayleydquinn
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedIn.com/in/dr-hayley-d-quinn-43386533
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drhayleydquinn
