Episode #12 That’s a “Rap” on Season One
Hi, this is Welcome to Self ™ Caring for the Human in the Therapist Chair, and I’m your host, Dr. Hayley D Quinn, fellow human, clinical psychologist, supervisor and trainer. Welcome to Self ™ is a place where you can come and learn ways to elevate your own care and compassion. A place to rest, be soothed, and at times maybe gently challenged to think about yourself and your practice. A place to remember that you are human first, choose the helping profession is just one of the roles in your life. My aim is that this is a place of soothing, comfort, nourishment, growth and nurture. A place where you can also welcome your self.
Hi, and welcome to another episode. In fact, the final episode of season one. I would like to thank everybody who has given feedback, I know I say it a lot, but I really do appreciate it.
I hope you have enjoyed the episodes so far. I’ve really enjoyed bringing them to you and I’m looking forward to bringing you a season two. I’m going to take a little break, because as you likely know I’m a big proponent for rest. When I started this podcast, I made a commitment to myself that it will be something that I enjoy doing. It wouldn’t be an obligation or a chore and as with my other work, I would take regular breaks with it as well. When I work, I usually work about eight weeks and then take a break, another eight weeks, take another break, so on and so forth, with a longer break at the end of the year. So, with the podcast, I set out to do it in seasons, so that I could take a break, have a rest, and come back refreshed and excited to keep going.
This season’s been so much fun. I started off with Episode One just introducing you all to the podcast and then my very first guest was my dear, dear friend and old Uni roommate, Dr Jacques Rizk. That episode proved to be very popular and I received lots of great feedback. In fact, I’ve had really beautiful feedback about all the episodes which has been lovely, and I really really appreciate you taking time to give me that feedback as well. When I started out on this podcast, I wasn’t sure whether it would be what people want to listen to, I didn’t know if many people would tune in, so receiving your feedback on what you’ve enjoyed and found helpful, is really great both as an encouragement for me to keep doing this and also as a way to see what you are wanting to hear more about. At the time of recording this final episode, there have been over 3000 downloads which is fantastic!
There have been a few shorter solo episodes throughout the season where I talk about Rest, Why enjoying your work matters, building a compassionate practice and that one had a bonus meditation too, and I’ve had the pleasure of recording some really great interviews. I’ve spoken with the Founder of CFT, the brilliant Professor Paul Gilbert OBE, talked about the impact of perfectionism with Jennifer Kemp, discussed self-care and how hoarding can show up for us as practitioners with Dr Chia Ying, chatted with Mr #365Daysof Compassion, Chris Winson, enjoyed a lovely conversation with Dr Mary Welford, author of many books including CFT for Dummies and The Kindness Workbook, and interviewed my final guest for the season, my dear friend and creator of The Mind Committee, Dr Grainne Schafer.
It’s been such a pleasure sitting down and chatting with everybody and exploring the different ways that we can take care of ourselves, or whether we struggle with doing that because let’s face it we all struggle with it sometimes. I’ve been on a long journey myself of bringing more compassion into my life, changing the relationship with myself, living life differently and whilst I like to think that I do a pretty good job of that most of the time there’s certainly times for me where I struggle and forget and mess up, and then come back to that question of what’s helpful for me right now? What do I need? How can I be compassionate to myself, and take care of myself in a loving, kind, and caring way? How can I encourage myself to do the things that perhaps feel hard and challenging yet I know will be helpful, and how can I do those things with care, and grace and ease?
I feel really humbled by the amount of you that have tuned in, and listened to the episodes and again, if there’s any you haven’t listened to, I really encourage you to give yourself some time to have a listen.
I’m really looking forward to what season two might bring and who some of the guests might be. You never know, it might be you. As always, I’d love your feedback on the podcast, and I’d love to know what you’d like to hear more of, or if there’s the someone particular you’d like to hear me interview. I can’t promise anything, but I certainly welcome your suggestions.
So, we’re heading into the end of the year, holiday times are upon us and as we know this time of year can be really challenging for people.
The marketing machines will tell us that it’s the happiest time of year, that we should be rushing out buying gifts and spending lots of money, eating and drinking and being merry. But we also know the reality of it is that this is a really, really challenging time for many, many people. Lots of our clients are going to be experiencing increased distress, problems within families become highlighted around holiday times, some people feel more lonely and isolated, there’s often increased financial pressure. So, our work can have increased demands, but also for many of us this personally isn’t a great time of year for lots of different reasons. People have really difficult memories around this time of year. People are estranged from their family and during these times of COVID, many of us are separated from our families, whether we like it or not.
So go gently with yourself. Remind yourself it isn’t just business as usual. Think about what could be helpful for you, whether that’s in terms of how you manage the increased distress for your clients, whether that’s how you manage any increased distress for yourself. Or maybe it’s both.
You might want to spend some time at the end of the year reflecting on the year that you’ve had. Looking back at your life, both personally and professionally. What have been some highlights? Are there things that you haven’t taken time to celebrate, and you might just want to do that. Better late than never hey!
What have been some of the challenges? How have you been there for yourself during those times. Have you been able to recognise your emotions, validate your emotions, treat yourself with kindness, been supportive to yourself, reached out to others for the support you may have needed? Or have you tried to push things aside?
Think about the things over the past year that have been helpful for you and think about the things over the past year that have been unhelpful or maybe even harmful.
Then you might want to look at the year in front of you and ask yourself how do you want to treat yourself in the coming year? What might be some things that would be helpful for you moving forward? If you know you have challenges ahead of you, how could you best support yourself? What internal resources do you have available to you? What external resources do you have, or do you need? Can you reach out and find additional support or supervision?
When you think about your business or work practices, do you need to make some changes? How do you feel about the number of clients you’re seeing? How do you feel about the types of clients you’re seeing? Are you enjoying your work and if not, why not? And is there anything you can do to change that?
You might want to think about one thing that you could add into your daily practice, that might be helpful for you, whether that’s a mindfulness practice, journaling, getting out into nature more, relying less on avoidance tactics to deal with your problems, practicing saying No to others so you can say Yes to yourself, doing a daily check in with yourself and asking yourself what you need, doing an end of day reflection to see how your day went.
What might you like to add into your practice for the year ahead?
Remember that you’re human first, you choose to work in the helping professions, your needs are just as important as anybody else’s. As helping professionals, I believe we can help others best when we help ourselves first.
I hope you can find moments of stillness within the busy, that you can connect with your breath, slow down, tune in, listen to the immense wisdom that you have within you and go well and go gently with yourselves.
Let’s take a few moments now to slow down. Focus on your in breath and notice how it feels as it travels down into your belly. You can gently close your eyes as you do this if you like but that’s not necessary. Notice the rise of your belly as you breathe deeply. Now notice the out breath as you breathe out emptying your lungs as best you can. Notice the feeling in your body as you breathe out. Allow yourself to be still in this moment, allowing your breath to find its own soothing rhythm, whilst I read to you one of my favourite poems.
The Guest House by— Jellaludin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks
This being human is a guest house
Every morning a new arrival
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably
He may be clearing you out for some new delight
The dark thought, the shame, the malice
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in
Be grateful for whatever comes because
each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Thank you again for tuning in and I’ll see you in the new year with Season 2. In the meantime, if you want to stay connected you can follow me on Instagram or Facebook under Dr Hayley D Quinn, you can visit my website and connect me via there and you’ll also find some guided meditations and a reflective journal which you might find helpful. If you’re a helping professional, you’re also very welcome to join me in my Welcome to Self®, Caring for The Human in the Therapist Chair FB group and weekly zoom meetings. You’ll find the link to join in the show notes and on all pages of my website.
So that’s a wrap, actually this is a rap.
They say self care is healthcare, but what you gonna do,
you’re gonna have to wait for season two.
I’ll bring you this podcast unless I’m in trouble or strife
so you can make improvements to your life.
If you go out of your way to leave a review
I’ll be so very grateful and say Thank You
So, there you have it, end of season one.
Can’t believe I just did that, but hey life’s about taking risks, having fun and not taking yourself too seriously right!
Have fun, stay safe and take care of yourself. Go well and go gently. See you in 2022
Thank you for sharing this time with me today. I hope your time here was helpful and supportive. If there has been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I invite you to share it with another person you think might benefit. I’d also love it if you’d like to leave a review wherever you tune in. Reviews really helped to increase awareness of podcasts, meaning I can spread helpful information more widely. All reviews are welcome and much appreciated. As I know they take time out of your day. If you’d like to be notified when the next episode airs, please use the link in the show notes to join my mailing list. Music and editing by Nyssa Ray. Thanks Nyssa. I wish you all well in your relationship with yourself. And may you go well and go gently.
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Disclaimer
This transcript may not be an exact representation of the audio
