Episode #23 Get to Know Yourself

Hi, this is Welcome to Self ™ Caring for the Human in the Therapist Chair, and I’m your host, Dr. Hayley D Quinn, fellow human, clinical psychologist, supervisor and trainer. Welcome to Self ™ is a place where you can come and learn ways to elevate your own care and compassion. A place to rest, be soothed, and at times maybe gently challenged to think about yourself and your practice. A place to remember that you are human first, choose the helping profession is just one of the roles in your life. My aim is that this is a place of soothing, comfort, nourishment, growth and nurture. A place where you can also welcome your self.

 

Hi and welcome to another episode.

 

So here we are it’s August, I can’t believe where the years gone, and this is season three of the Welcome to Self: Caring for the Human in the Therapist Chair podcast. What started as an idea is now a reality listened to by so many of you in many countries around the world which is extremely humbling. I want to start by saying thank you to all of you for tuning in and thank you for taking time out to send me messages about how helpful you find the podcast. That really does mean a lot to me and helps keep me inspired to keep producing episodes so please if you feel inclined, do reach out and send me a message or post on social media or leave a rating and review wherever you listen to a podcast.

 

So again, I took a break as I plan to do after each season and it wasn’t just a break from the podcast episodes, I took a break from work and during that break I moved house which wasn’t restful, but I certainly appreciate that we are now living in our lovely new home. There’s still plenty to get organised and I’m actually recording this episode from a temporary set up in my wardrobe! Whatever works right!

 

My husband and I went back to the Noosa Eco Retreat for a few days to just get away, get into nature, turn off all mobile devices and reconnect with ourselves and each other.

 

I strongly encourage you to try taking a social media break, whether it’s for a number of days like I did, or for 24 hours or if you’re completely fixed to your phone maybe even just for a few hours. Remember small steps count too.

 

During our time away we were also celebrating our ninth wedding anniversary which is another reminder for me of how quickly life goes by. What the time away also gave me was time and space to reflect, to think about the things that matter most to me in my life, to think about what I want to put out into the world. I was able to reflect on my skills and abilities and also the areas where I have challenges, the areas that I need to seek assistance in, and the areas of my life where I need to step back and say no.

 

I think it’s so important that we get to know ourselves. I know I’ve said this many times, but I think changing the relationship with yourself is fundamental in creating the life that you want and creating sustainable ways of being in business.

 

So how do you get to know yourself?  I like to think of it like meeting somebody new for the first time, how would you get to know them? What sort of questions would you ask? You’d likely be curious about what the person likes, what their interests are, what they enjoy, what they don’t enjoy, do they have particular things in the life that they’re passionate about?

 

And then you could ask yourself more intimate questions that perhaps you wouldn’t ask of somebody you’d just met. Such as: What are your deepest fears? What are areas that you feel inadequate? What helps motivate you to do the things you need to do? What motivates you when you’re doing things that you know are not helpful? Where are your limits? And are these actual limits or are they your own fears blocks or resistances? When you reach your limits do you just push on regardless or do you allow yourself to slow down, take a break, stop for a time.

 

I mentioned that we recently moved house and as I’m sure you can imagine when you move house there’s lots of unpacking, lots of stuff to get organised and I really noticed that when there is lots to do I can have this tendency to just keep going even though my body is telling me slow down and go and rest, but my mind will be saying just one more box just unpack one more box, so I had to be really intentional about the time I spent on getting the house organised and the rest that I’ve been taking in between and I remind myself if I do that even though it seems like it’s going to take longer, it’s likely going to be more efficient in the long run and I won’t be shattered in the process.

 

What are areas you find yourself pushing too hard?

 

How easy or hard do you find it to slow down and take things easy?

 

Do you allow yourself to listen to your wisdom or does it become drowned out by shoulds and self-criticism?

 

It’s so helpful to know your limits, and to be able to set healthy boundaries. I’m thinking I might do an episode on boundaries, so please do reach out and let me know if you’d find that helpful. Also feel free to let me know other topics that you’d like to hear about or other particular guests you’d love to hear on the podcast.

 

It’s so important to have a healthy blend of work, learning and self-care that includes rest and play amongst all the other areas of self-care.

 

Start with checking in with yourself and ask yourself what would be helpful for you in this moment or with a particular project you have or just in general with your work. See if you can really listen to the wisdom you hold and then do your best to implement whatever helpful thing or things that came up for you. Go gently with yourself and remind yourself, behaviour change is hard, and it is an ongoing practice.

 

So, on that note of blending learning and self-care, I’d love to tell you about training that I will be running with my dear friend and colleague Dr Lisa McLean. So, if you’re in Queensland, Australia or want to make your way here in November we are offering a two day in-person CFT for Trauma: Caring for the Client and the Therapist training. You can find a link with further information and tickets in my Instagram bio or in the show notes for this episode. We’d love to see you there.

 

It’s great to be back and I’m looking forward to sharing the upcoming episodes with you, there’s some more great guests for this season. I’d love to hear from you and in the meantime, go well and go gently with yourself.

 

Thank you for sharing this time with me today. I hope your time here was helpful and supportive. If there has been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I invite you to share it with another person you think might benefit. I’d also love it if you’d like to leave a review wherever you tune in. Reviews really helped to increase awareness of podcasts, meaning I can spread helpful information more widely. All reviews are welcome and much appreciated. As I know they take time out of your day. If you’d like to be notified when the next episode airs, please use the link in the show notes to join my mailing list. Music and editing by Nyssa Ray. Thanks Nyssa. I wish you all well in your relationship with yourself. And may you go well and go gently.

 

 

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Disclaimer
This transcript may not be an exact representation of the audio