Episode #44 Start Where You Are At

This transcript is computer generated and may contain errors and not be an exact representation of the audio

 

Hi This is Welcome to Self® and I’m your host Dr Hayley D Quinn, fellow human, business owner, and coach for women like you who want to increase your own self-care and self-compassion, change the relationship you have with yourselves and your business and elevate your business to a new level so you can live the full and meaningful life you desire.

 

Welcome to Self® is a podcast for women business owners. It is a place where you can come and learn about the practices that will assist you as a business owner, get tips on how to engage in your business in a way that is sustainable for you, realise that you’re not alone in the ways that you struggle, and have your curiosity piqued on various topics as I chat to wonderful guests and bring you solo episodes.

 

This is a place to remember that you are human first and have different tasks in your business and different roles in your life that need your attention and for that you need to take care of yourself in the best way you can. This is a place of nourishment, growth and helpful information. A place where you can learn ways to assist you and your business to thrive.

 

Hi and welcome to another episode of bite size business where I bring you a short episode with some helpful tips for you and your business.

 

Ever had the feeling that everyone else is doing better than you?

 

Ever looked around and wished that you had something or were doing something that someone else was doing?

 

This can be really common for us as human beings. It can be really easy to get caught up in what we might call comparisonitis. It’s kind of built into us. We are social beings. We have been shaped by our social interactions throughout our life and we live in a society where we are constantly marketed to in a way that can leave us feeling like we should be doing things differently, that as we are, we are not really quite enough!

 

If you watch adverts, you’ll really notice that we’re being sold this story of, if you were just like this person, you’d be happy, better, more beautiful, more successful. If you just had this thing that this person has, you’d be happy, better, more beautiful, more successful. I mean, come on, can a dishwashing tablet or the right type of insurance really change you and your life!

 

You’ve probably noticed in all those adverts everyone’s good looking, they wear beautiful clothes, they’re smiling, they have a wonderful life. It paints the picture that if we only just had the thing that somebody is selling, we’d be okay. Life would be rosy right!

 

From an evolutionary perspective it’s always been important that we fit within our group or clan or tribe. This allowed us to stay safe, be protected by safety in numbers. If we were outcast from our group, then we would face risk of not surviving. There’s a saying a lone monkey is a dead monkey, so it makes sense that we get caught up with comparing ourselves to other people and other people’s businesses.

 

But really how helpful is that? I think one of the most important things that we need to do as business owners, is start where we are at. We need to be really honest with ourselves about where we are in our business. What we are capable of, what resources we have at that time, what skills we have and start from that place.

 

You can look at somebody who has been in business longer. Someone that is running a thriving and successful business and you could try and emulate what they’re doing. The problem with that is you’re not seeing all the steps it took for them to get to that place.

 

You’re not seeing the fact that they have resources within their business to pay for lots of different things to be happening. You’re not seeing the time it took for them to build up the resources in their business to be able to do that.

 

If you’re trying to do what they are doing, either you’re going to be spending money that your business doesn’t have and potentially your business won’t survive. Or you’re just going to be constantly telling yourself that you can’t do this, and you can’t do that and that’s going to feel really disheartening.

 

Now I’m not in any way saying don’t seek inspiration from others or taking learnings from other people’s situations because this can be really helpful but please be realistic about where you are in your business journey and don’t unnecessarily overwhelm yourself.

 

Step one is to start where you are at.

 

Remember, you are running your business, not somebody else’s business. If you start where you’re at, you’re more likely to be doing things that are helpful for your business.

 

One of the things you need to do is put yourself in context. You need to think about who you are, who you are personally, what sort of community you have around you, what environment you’re working within.

 

Ask yourself, are there things about your particular gender or culture that you need to take into account in terms of your business?

 

Recognise where you are before thinking about where you want to go. It’d be almost like being given a map with a destination but not the point of where you are and trying to figure out the path you’re going to take. Like seriously, how would you even do that!

 

If you’ve ever been to a shopping centre, and I’m assuming you will have done, they’ve got those big screens, and you can go and do a little search on the shop that you’re looking for. You’ll notice with that they always tell you, you are here, so that you can start from where you are and take the path you need to get to the shop you want to go to.

 

Well, it’s the same with your business, you need to know where you’re starting from so you can set a path to follow to get to your desired outcome.

 

You might be thinking, well how do I do that Hayley? Great question and I have some prompts to get you started.

 

What are some of the things you could be reflecting on in terms of where you’re at with your business?

 

Well take some time and reflect on what’s been working well in your business and what hasn’t been working and be really honest with yourself.

 

Think about what your skills and strengths are, so that you can focus on doing those things and so you can know where you need to upskill in any areas.

 

Think about the tasks that you don’t enjoy or aren’t particularly good at so that you can work out what would be best to delegate to someone else. I recognise this is said from a place of privilege. You might not have the funds to do that straightaway, so you might have to learn more about those tasks and do them for yourself for a little while or maybe even a long time, whilst you build up your income but at least you’ll have an idea of what you want to outsource once you can afford to.

 

Alternatively, you might be at a place where you can bring somebody else in to take over some of those tasks. Think about what works best for you. It doesn’t matter how other people are doing it.

 

There is no one right way to run a business. Let me say that again, there is no one right way to run a business. The right way to run your business is how it works best for you with the skills you’ve got, the funds you’ve got and under the circumstances that you are operating.

 

There’s so much more you can ask yourself.

 

When I work with women in my Time to Thrive group coaching program, we really dig down into this, really reflect on what it is that works best for you and how you can bring that into your business, we reflect on your values and why that matters. Values are important because they give you signposts along the way, give you something to come back to and connect with when you’re trying to make decisions for your business.

 

It’s also important to think about your mindset. How are you speaking to yourself? What beliefs are you holding on to that are impacting your business whether positively or negatively? What are the goals you are setting for yourself and are they really your goals. It’s easy to get caught up in other people’s goals in life and so important to make sure your goals are your own.

 

You don’t want to head down a path to a destination you don’t even want to be at!

 

Think about the goals you have for your business, short term and more long term but always come back to this place of where am I now? What does it need to look like from where I am now? And this will change along the way, your business is going to evolve and grow. You’re going to evolve and grow. Always meet yourself where you’re at. Try your best not to compare yourself to people who have been doing this longer or seem like they’ve got it all together, because let’s face it, a lot of stuff out there on social media is the highlight reels. It’s definitely not the whole story.

 

As you reflect on what’s been happening in your business, think about your achievements. Give yourself a pat on the back for all the things that you’ve managed. Starting and running a business is hard work. It can be really rewarding, and it can be really challenging.

 

If you’d like to go on the waiting list for when doors open for the next enrolment of my Time to Thrive program, use the link in the show notes or reach out to me for more information. I’d love to see how you and your business look on the other side.

 

I hope you’ve found this short bite size business episode helpful.

 

Go well and gently with yourself.

 

Thank you for sharing this time with me today. I hope your time here was helpful and supportive. If there has been something in this episode that you found helpful, I invite you to share it with another person you think might benefit. If you’ve benefited in any way from the podcast, please do me a favour and share my pod some wealth by giving us a five star rating and review. ratings, reviews and shares really helped to increase the awareness and reach of the podcast, meaning I can spread helpful information more widely. 

 

All Reviews are welcome and much appreciated as I know they take time out of your day. If you’d like to be notified when the next episode airs, please use the link in the show notes to join my mailing list. If you have any particular topics you’d like to learn more about, or guests you’d like to hear from, please reach out and let me know I’d love to hear from you.

 

Music and editing by Nyssa Ray thanks Nyssa I wish you all well in your relationship with yourself and your business. And may you go well and go gently

 

 

Links to Dr Hayley D Quinn Resources

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