Episode #58 Discovering Your Why

This transcript is computer generated and may contain errors and not be an exact representation of the audio

Hi, this is Welcome to Self ®. And I’m your host, Dr. Hayley D Quinn, fellow human, AuDHDer, business owner, and the Anti Burnout Business Coach. I’m here for service based business owners and entrepreneurs like you to help you increase your own self care and self compassion. Change the relationship you have with yourself in your business, and help you elevate your business to a new level. So you can live the full and meaningful life you desire. 

We are all on a continual learning journey. So let’s learn together. Welcome to Self ® is a place where you can come and learn about the practices that will assist you as a business owner, and get tips on how to engage in your business in a way that’s sustainable for you. You will realise that you’re not alone in the ways that you struggle, because at times, we all do. And I’m happy to share with you what I’ve learned through my own struggles and my experiences of running businesses. You can join me as I chat to wonderful guests, and have your curiosity piqued about various topics. And I’ll also bring you solo bite sized business episodes that can EASILY fit into your day. This is a place to remember that you are human first, and have different tasks in your business, and different roles in your life that need your attention. And for that you need to take care of yourself in the best way you can. This is a place of nourishment, growth, and helpful information. A place where you can learn ways to assist you and your business to thrive. 

Because remember, if you thrive, your business will too. 

Now let’s get to the episode.

Hi and welcome to another bite size business episode.

Today let’s think about Why?

Why do you do what you do? 

I think it’s an important question that we all need to ask ourselves because at times when running a business things are going to get tricky, you’re going to feel challenged. It’s not always going to be as enjoyable as you might like and you’re not necessarily going to always want to show up, even though you know you kind of have to. 

So think about why you do what you do. When you’re connected to your why it can make showing up during the challenging times easier, not necessarily easy but easier.

Did you start your business to give yourself more time from your 9 to 5, but maybe now you’re finding yourself working longer hours than 9 to 5? Did you imagine more time with your children, your loved ones, doing the things you love and instead your business is claiming all of your time?

Did you start your business so that you could make money, more money for yourself? Have more financial freedom? How’s that going for you? 

Or did you want to make a particular type of impact in the world?

As business owners we have an idea of what it’s going to look like but then sometimes can get caught up in wanting to make money, or having enough money to pay the bills which is obviously important, and maybe you just start taking whatever clients or customers or opportunities come your way without stopping to think about whether that’s actually the business you want. Do you now have a business that’s just evolved from whatever shows up on the day rather than intentionally making decisions that align with how you want it to look or feel?

My why is multifaceted, and I’m sure yours is as well.

I started Welcome to Self® because I wanted to change the work I was doing. I worked as a clinical psychologist and supervisor for many years and during my work in this field, I noticed so many people living lives and running businesses in a way that seemed to deplete them rather than give them what they were hoping for. 

I’ve had the pleasure and privilege of helping many practitioners set up their own practices and helped them do that in a way that holds their well-being at the forefront. And working with other business owners to help them move towards the goals that they really want whilst still taking care of themselves. The more I engaged in conversations, the more passionate I felt about what I could bring to people who are starting and running a business. 

I also wanted change in my life and to work in ways that aligned with the life I want to be living.

I started the Time to Thrive group coaching experience because I was witnessing so many people running themselves ragged in business, so many people doing things in a way that wasn’t what they wanted for their business and ending up feeling depleted and resentful and like they were just being pulled in so many directions they didn’t really know what they wanted to do. Having gone through a severe burnout myself and having to re-organise things and make different choices, I knew I had skills and insights that could be helpful for other people and the more I started doing this work, the more I recognised how passionate I am about it and the satisfaction I get from being able to work with women to create businesses and lives that they really love. 

Prior to becoming a psychologist, I’d worked in various domains. I was a PA to CEOs of companies, I worked in the advertising industry, bookkeeping departments and also in sales, so I also realised that I had a lot of transferable knowledge that I’d never really paid attention to until I became a business owner myself. 

Combining my skills that I picked up throughout my working life, together with my understanding of human behaviour and effective and long lasting behaviour change, I realised I have a lot to offer people wanting to make sustainable and values-aligned changes in their businesses. 

So I started to think about how I could evolve my business to both provide these services to others so they can thrive, and also design my business and life in a way that ensures I continue to thrive and feel engaged, excited and passionate about the work I do.

So here’s my “why” in a nutshell.

I’m here to help womxn come home to themselves so they can change the relationship they have with themselves and their business so both can thrive.

So what is your why?

Here are just a couple of questions to get you started on discovering or clarifying your why.

The first one, what excites you about the work you do, like what has you keen to get you started in your day?

And the second question, what matters to you about the work you do? When you look back on your life, what will you be glad you did?

Now when you ask yourself these questions, allow yourself some time and space to go deep with the answer. For example, when you ask yourself what excites you and you hear your answer, keep asking yourself why until you feel like you’ve really landed on the true answer.

For me when I think about my “why” in helping women come home to themselves so they can change the relationship they have with themselves and their business so both can thrive, I ask myself why and then I start to really deeply explore. Why is it important for me to work with women? And for me it’s about working with women because for too long we have lived under many toxic narratives where we are expected to stay quiet, be small, don’t be too successful, don’t make too much money, all these stories that women are hearing and that needs to change. When women can discover who they are, find their voice, take up space and do the things they love, beautiful changes can happen in the world. Brilliant ideas can come forth that will benefit other people in the world. When I think about why is it important for women in business to thrive, I come back to this place of when we are thriving, when we are feeling excited about what we’re doing, when we have contentment and joy in our lives, when we can fill up our own cup we are in a position to one live a more fulfilling life for ourselves but also we’re no longer in our threat system as much and we know that when people are in their threat system, we can be hostile not only to ourselves but other people, so if we’re thriving, we can be putting more out in the world that is helpful.  When I think about my why in terms of using  compassion and helping people increase compassion in their life, I come back to this sense that if we are all more compassionate to ourselves and others, when we change the relationship with ourself to one of compassion and understanding and we have compassion for ourselves and others we can change the world in profound and beautiful ways and that is the impact that I want to make in the world whilst I’m here. 

So when you’re asking yourself these questions allow yourself to keep asking but why, why is that bit important to me until you really feel like you’ve landed on that answer

I’m curious, when was the last time you stopped to think about what you want from your business and your life? How often do you think about your own well-being when making decisions in your business? Are you thriving and if not, how can you change that?

If you’d like some support with your business, and how you relate to yourself and your business, please reach out and let’s chat about how we might be able to work together to get you firmly on the path to thriving. You’ll find the link to contact me in the show notes and I’d love to hear from you. I wish you all the best in connecting with your why.

Thank you for sharing this time with me today. I hope our time together has been helpful and supportive. If there has been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I invite you to share it with another person who you think might benefit. If you’ve benefited in any way from the podcast. 

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If you have any particular topics you’d like to learn more about, or guests you’d like to hear from, please reach out and let me know. I’d love to hear from you. 

Music and editing by Nyssa Ray. Thanks Nyssa.

I wish you all well in your relationship with yourself and your business. may go well and go gently. 

And remember, if you thrive, your business will too.

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