Episode #61 Building a Sustainable Business Starts with You

This transcript is computer generated and may contain errors and not be an exact representation of the audio

Hi, this is Welcome to Self ®. And I’m your host, Dr. Hayley D Quinn, fellow human, AuDHDer, business owner, and the Anti Burnout Business Coach. I’m here for service based business owners and entrepreneurs like you to help you increase your own self care and self compassion. Change the relationship you have with yourself in your business, and help you elevate your business to a new level. So you can live the full and meaningful life you desire.

We are all on a continual learning journey. So let’s learn together. Welcome to Self ® is a place where you can come and learn about the practices that will assist you as a business owner, and get tips on how to engage in your business in a way that’s sustainable for you. You will realise that you’re not alone in the ways that you struggle, because at times, we all do. And I’m happy to share with you what I’ve learned through my own struggles and my experiences of running businesses. You can join me as I chat to wonderful guests, and have your curiosity piqued about various topics. And I’ll also bring you solo bite sized business episodes that can EASILY fit into your day. This is a place to remember that you are human first, and have different tasks in your business, and different roles in your life that need your attention. And for that you need to take care of yourself in the best way you can. This is a place of nourishment, growth, and helpful information. A place where you can learn ways to assist you and your business to thrive.

Because remember if you thrive your business can too.

Now let’s get to the episode.

Hi, and welcome back to another season season six, and a brand new episode to start us off. If you’ve been following me from the beginning, thank you so much. If you joined along the way, it’s been great having you here. And if you are absolutely new to this, then welcome and thanks for finding me. And I hope you find this episode really helpful. I want to talk today about how we can make things more sustainable in our businesses and in our lives. And what can help us thrive. And it really does start with you. And this is not to minimise any of the societal factors, environmental factors, or any of the context you’re in. But I think it’s really important that we know ourselves, we really get to know who we are, what we like, what we enjoy what we’re good at what we struggle with, what we might need extra support with. Because when we know ourselves, and we can change that relationship we’ve got with ourselves, we can really start making decisions that are more aligned when we understand our own values, not the values of those around us not the values that people in our lives might want us to hold. But the values that we actually hold. It can really help us stay on track with what is important and meaningful. And we might share values with those around us. We might share some of the values and then have others that are actually not the same as other people. And that’s totally fine.

There’s no right or wrong way to decide what your values are. It’s really about what’s important and meaningful to you. The other thing I think is really important is knowing how you tend to think about things, and what sort of beliefs you are carrying around. And asking yourself, Is this a helpful way of thinking, like if you’re always just focusing on the negative of everything, which don’t get me wrong, as humans, we have a built in negativity bias. So that is default thinking for a human being. But if that’s where you tend to get stuck, and you just focus on all the negative and you don’t kind of take a look around and start to say, okay, what are some of the possibilities or some of the opportunities or some of the positive things, then this can be really tricky for you as well. And also have you more in your threat system.

So perhaps the decisions you’re making are more based on threat, rather than coming from more grounded place where you can access your wisdom more easily. And what are the beliefs you hold? And are they actually your beliefs? Or are they just beliefs that have been been instilled in you from a young age, or beliefs you’ve picked from other people along the way, some people have the belief that to be successful at work, you just have to work really long hours and really hard to get anywhere. And that’s just not true. Sometimes working lots of hours and being busy, busy busy, is actually us just getting caught up in the act of being busy, and not actually doing things in our business that are moving us forward, or leading to the outcomes that would actually be more helpful for us. You carry around beliefs that perhaps you don’t deserve to be successful, or that nobody would want to listen to what you’ve got to say. Do you get bogged down with feeling like an imposter. And again, this can be really normal experiences as a human being.

So if these are the things that you’re thinking and believing, don’t then beat yourself up for that. Give yourself some grace and compassion and understanding that being a human with a tricky mind can lead to this. And then ask yourself, what do I want to do about it, I have actually give myself some time to think about the beliefs that I hold, and question whether they do actually make sense or they are actually true, or that their beliefs you want to continue to carry on with you. Because, you know, they’re actually not very helpful. I think it’s important to give yourself time and space to dream and create. When we’re busy, busy busy with all the life tasks and admin tasks, and the doing of the business, it can be really hard to come up with new ideas or solutions. Or even the things that might excite us.

So I invite you to give yourself some time and space, just to dream and create, whether that’s doing some journaling, whether that’s just going for a walk and seeing what shows up. Whatever it is for you, that gives you that space. I wonder if you could give yourself some of that time and space this week, and just see what happens. See what your mind comes up with. Another one I talk about a lot. And there’s lots of information out there about it’s boundaries, having healthy and flexible boundaries. And I’ve said this before, that your boundaries may differ between different people in different contacts. And that’s totally okay. And actually really important. learning to say no to people, learning to say no to requests through opportunities that either don’t align for you, or don’t fit in terms of your time, or capacity, or desire. And this one can be tricky.

But with practice, like everything can certainly become easier. I think another thing that’s really important is having the right support and cheerleading in our lives. Because nobody is going to find that everyone in our life is going to be supportive of what they do or believe in their dreams or even understand why they want to do what they’re doing. And I think this support and cheerleading is important to come from others, and also from within. So that we’re building a relationship with ourselves that is supportive, and encouraging. And that when we have achieved things, no matter how small, we are celebrating ourselves along the way. I think this is an area that is so often missed. So many people might set a goal, achieved that goal, and then just change the goalposts and start setting more goals without stopping to think how far have I actually come?

What have I had to overcome to get to this place? And how can I actually celebrate myself now that I’ve done it? And again, that’s going to be different for everybody. And it might be different depending on the thing that you’re celebrating. For something it might just be acknowledging yourself and actually saying to yourself, congratulations, Hayley, you did really well with that, that’s fantastic. For something else, it might be organising a dinner or a party and having a bigger celebration, or anything in between. So what whatever it is for you keep coming back to what is it that works for me. I think the more we know ourselves, the more we can create a sustainable and thriving life. One of the most significant things in my life, both personally and professionally, has been developing a beautiful, compassionate self. This part of me is now my fondest brand, my greatest cheerleader, and my wisest guide. I know I have this part of me that will support me, that will nurture me, that will look out for me, that will remind me when I’m going off track or doing something that is more harmful than helpful. And I hope that’s something you can develop for yourself as well.

There’s such value in offering compassion to ourselves. And often as service based business owners particularly can be very good at offering compassion to others, being very other focused, being there to support and nourish other people. And what I invite you to do is really learn how to do that for yourself as well. And when we think about compassion, it’s important to think about the three flows of compassion. So the compassion from you to somebody else, which I have no doubt, you’re good at the compassion to yourself from yourself, which you may have started on that journey, or you may be very new to that. And I’ll do another episode down the track, where we go into more detail about that. But also receiving compassion from others. And this is another one that can be tricky. And I know for me, it was an I’ve had to do work on that about welcoming in compassion from other people. So like, everything it’s a practice. And you’re not always gonna get it right. And that’s okay. And when we don’t, we can offer ourselves compassion. Like, it’s just not possible to always get things right. And I think it’s important you go in to everything we do, knowing you can’t always get it right. When we aim for that perfect outcome, or we avoid doing things for fear of failure. This can create a lot of stress. We’re setting ourselves up with unrealistic expectations.

So remind yourself, it’s okay to be human, you are always human first, you’re gonna make mistakes. And the beautiful thing about that is, we can learn a lot from our mistakes. We don’t need to see them as bad things. We can see it as data. We can see it as information and an opportunity to learn and grow and do things differently. And if you’ve listened to me before, you’ll know that I will often say the thing I love most about choice is we can always make another one. So if you made a choice based on the information you had, and it turns out, it wasn’t the right choice. Well, you can make another choice and do something differently. And when we approach things from this lens of, I’m human first. I don’t need to get it all right. I can have boundaries with others and say no, when it suits me to say no. I can give myself support and cheerleading. And I can request that of other people. Doesn’t mean other people will always give it to you, but you can certainly ask. And I can develop this compassionate relationship with myself.

Knowing that I don’t always have to get it right. I truly believe when we can do that. We can build a business and a life that is sustainable, and allows our business and us to thrive. My invitation to you is to embrace who you are. Get to really know yourself what you like, what you don’t how you want life to look what matters to you how you want to run your business, how you want to show up in the world. And be brave, and do it your way. Hope you found this episode helpful. I wish you all the best in your business and life. Thanks again for tuning in. And please share this episode with anyone you think might benefit. And if you haven’t already subscribed, go ahead and hit subscribe because then you’ll be notified when there are new episodes. Have a wonderful week. No matter where you are. And I look forward to tuning in next time.

Thank you for sharing this time with me today. I hope our time together has been helpful and supportive. If there has been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I invite you to share it with another person who you think might benefit. If you’ve benefited in any way from the podcast.

Please do me a favour and share my thoughts and love by giving it a five star rating and review. Ratings reviews and shares really helped to increase awareness and reach of the podcast, allowing this helpful information to be spread more widely. All Reviews are welcome and much appreciated.

And if you do share on socials, remember to tag me so I can see who’s listening. Because you never really know over here in podcast land, and I can reach out personally to say thank you. If you’d like to be notified when the next episode airs, please use the link in the show notes to join our mailing list.

If you have any particular topics you’d like to learn more about, or guests you’d like to hear from, please reach out and let me know. I’d love to hear from you.

Music and editing by Nyssa Ray. Thanks Nyssa.

I wish you all well in your relationship with yourself and your business. may go well and go gently.

And remember, if you thrive, your business will too.

Links to Dr Hayley D Quinn Resources

I’m thrilled that our podcast is a nominee in the Women in Podcasting Awards!

I’d love your help to win! If you haven’t voted yet, please use this link HERE and show the pod some love.

If you have already voted, thank you very much. I really appreciate you.

Website https://drhayleydquinn.com

Link to podcast mailing list: https://bit.ly/WelcomeToSelfPodcast

Group Coaching Waitlist: https://drhayleydquinn.myflodesk.com/timetothrivewaitlist

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drhayleydquinn

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drhayleydquinn