Episode #69 The Road to Success is Never Linear with Peita Mages
This transcript is computer generated and may contain errors and not be an exact representation of the audio
Dr. Hayley Quinn 00:04
Hi, this is Welcome to Self ®. And I’m your host, Dr. Hayley de Quinn, fellow human, AuDHDer, dear business owner, and the Anti-Burnout Business Coach. I’m here for service based business owners and entrepreneurs like you to help you increase your own self care and self compassion. Change the relationship you have with yourself in your business, and help you elevate your business to a new level. So you can live the full and meaningful life you desire. We are all on a continual learning journey. So let’s learn together. Welcome to self is a place where you can come and learn about the practices that will assist you as a business owner, and get tips on how to engage in your business in a way that is sustainable for you.
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Now let’s get to the episode
Hi and welcome to another episode. And again, I’ve got another great guest for you. You are absolutely going to love this. I just know I get so much joy from this woman so Peita majors is a minister’s Award for Excellence in Teaching recipient, a teacher trainer, expert, speaker, writer and lover of literature. She is renowned for her dogged determination to help students achieve incredible results. After completing her HSC, she achieved a full athletic tennis scholarship to the University of Tennessee, securing a double major in broadcast journalism and English prior to teaching, Peita worked in television and radio as a researcher, producer and presenter and in the film industry for Walt, Disney Pictures, Sony Pictures and Universal Pictures. As a national publicity and promotions manager. She’s had a very interesting and varied career. Peita is the founder of clever cookie Academy, a kick ass education provider servicing 425 plus students of the central west and beyond. Here in Australia, they’re a recent winner of three Western Business Awards, including Business of the Year. Peita is a firm believer in personal and career reinvention and entrepreneurship has provided her the perfect blend of teaching, marketing, innovation and writing to capture her attention. For now, she tells me, Peita enjoys family time, baking at inappropriate hours and lurking outside of her comfort zone. And I know you’re going to absolutely love this episode with Peita today, so let me welcome her onto the episode.
Hey, Peita, thank you so much for joining me. I’m really excited about this.
Peita Mages 03:45
Oh Hayley, I’m so thrilled to be here. The joy is all mine. All mine.
Hayley Quinn 03:51
Oh my goodness. So you have had a really varied career leading you to where you are now. You and I met in a mastermind group and spent some time on retreat in Bali, which was lovely. We chat a little bit about that later, but let I just give you some space to just sort of talk about, like, what’s that road been like for you? Like, what? Yeah, what has led you to where you are now,
Peita Mages 04:17
You know what’s funny is, I always refer to a Steve Jobs quote where he did the commencement speech. I think it was Stanford University, and he taught, he was saying to young people that were graduating, as you’re living your life, you can’t understand, you can’t connect the dots. I think he’s the word he uses, but when you look back on it, you can connect the dots. And when I think about my life, that is so relevant, because I think about a young girl that, you know, I went off on a tennis scholarship. I came straight out of uni, and I was radio DJing, and I was flirting with doing, like, a little bit of television stuff.
And it was that that led me to a job, just just briefly, which I haven’t got in my bio for the. Australian Embassy while I was in America, and they wanted me to do some events coordination. And then, lo and behold, I do the premiere for the dish, an Australian film, which the dish is not far from me in orange. So it’s funny how it all Oh, goodness. And as I’m doing that premiere, I met someone from Warner Brothers, and she said, Oh, Disney’s got a job going, you’d be perfect.
And so then in I was into the world of film publicity, which taught me so many things about marketing. You know, working for Disney was a, they’re a powerhouse in terms of their marketing. So it taught me a lot of things about, I guess, even managing people. I was young, and I rose quickly when I was working for Disney, and I was instantly managing people a lot older like in years. And that was difficult, like challenging at times. And then, met my husband playing tennis there, which was another kind of dot that I never would have thought would happen, we decided to move back to Australia. I worked for Columbia, Tristar. I worked for Universal. I kept sort of going up the ranks, but I always in the back of my mind thought about teaching. My mother’s teacher. My sister’s a teacher. I’ve got a lot of educators in the family.
And I’d always kind of wondered, you know, why did I have that English? You know, when I double majored, like, what was it about English? Why did I do that? Was a lot of extra work. But now that I’m a business owner, and, you know, I’ve done my time in schools, and we can talk about that later, bit too renegade to fit in there, but, and I think, no, like, this was all lining up for me.
All those dots were lining up. You know, I’m an English teacher now. I worked on a lot of the films that we teach as part of the curriculum. You know, I understand how to market my small business because I worked in marketing, like, understand how to manage people, because I’ve done that before. And I think, you know, it would be hard to run the business we run today without all of those little slices of life experience. And I’m sure Hayley, like, I’m going to keep renovating and reimagining, because I never sit still belong. And I think that’s that’s a cool part of your journey as a human
Hayley Quinn 07:19
Yeah, and you’re a creator and an innovator and a visionary in your essence, I think as well, yeah, I think that’s a really important point. Is it because a lot of people may start a business and then get caught up in, I don’t know how to run a business, but don’t look back and say, what are all the skills I’ve learned along the way that I can actually bring with me? And I know I did the same at one point, but then realize, like I came to psychology and then coaching and business sort of later in life. But look back and I had worked in advertising. I’d been a PA to CEOs in companies. I’d managed staff, I’d worked at bookkeeping departments, I’d done procurement of things, all sorts of stuff, and then it’s like, oh, actually, we can take all these threads and weave the business that we’ve now got.
Peita Mages 08:13
100% don’t you think that makes you such a better entrepreneur for having had those experiences, or even in Your psychology relating to people in those fields? It’s so important, I think, to not get stale. And I think a lot of people sit in, I don’t know, sitting jobs they hate, and kind of go on like, Woe is me. I don’t have a lot of tolerance for that, because I’m just like, well, they make something happen.
Hayley Quinn 08:37
And I think people do. They get stuck in fair, right? Yeah, it takes courage to make the change. It takes courage to go overseas on a scholarship. It takes courage to somebody say, hey, there’s a job at Walt Disney. And you go, Okay, I’ll apply for it. Then, you know, some people will be like, Oh, that. That feels too much. Or it’s, we can get stuck in that. But there’s ways of, I guess, future thinking and connecting with the courageous part of us that can help us step forward and make these changes.
I think it’s interesting. You had all this experience with, you know, publicity and marketing, but that’s not where you chose to take your business. I mean, you could, you could be on here saying, you know, I’m like, an absolute epic marketer. Come and work with me. I’ll know how to market your business. Your business brilliantly. But you went into that, that teaching realm, yeah, but that that wasn’t for you. Like, you say you’re too renegade for that. So tell us a little bit about that.
Peita Mages 09:33
Yeah. So it’s funny, you should say that about marketing, we get approached all the time from because of our socials. We help us? And I’m not going to say I never will, like, that’s the thing about me, is we might, we might, at one point do a bit of consulting, like, so the reason for, I guess, not staying in teaching, it’s kind of controversial, and I was asked by a national newspaper to actually write about. But why did I leave? Because I’d won a minister’s award, and I resigned within six months of winning the Pinnacle Award for what it is that I do, and when I wrote the award, I did write about some of the factors, because it wasn’t just one thing. It was, you know, death of 1000 paper cuts, yeah, but you know, the things that are spoken about in the media are true. It is a heavily administrative job.
Like, as a teacher, you just want to be in your classroom, impacting kids, yeah, and it just, they just throw all of this paperwork at you. That’s unnecessary. It’s not going to actually help the kid. And after a while, that becomes, you know, especially, I am a creative too. Like, don’t bury me in your administration. Let me in the classroom to impact, blow kids minds and get excited about text and excited about, you know, the subject. And I think it’s just like any government thing, it’s there’s a lot of bureaucracy, there’s a lot of red tape. So the administration thing is true. I hear people all the time say, Oh, they’re not paid well enough. And probably that is a factor, but that wasn’t my factor.
And I think I’d started in film, you know, which it’s a glamorous job, so they’re often not paid well. So even though I had a lot of responsibility, it wasn’t as if that it was a money situation people will talk about, you know, that behavior is declining, of kids and parents interfering, and, you know, there’s not respect for the profession, and some of those are factors. But when I really So, I wrote this article, and it was a good article, and then I did some soul searching after, and I thought, Well, Peita, you weren’t you weren’t honest. You weren’t 100% honest, and you didn’t go there, and that might have been a fear thing for me, because I now operate an education business, and so you’re a little bit like, oh, and I work in school still as a consultant, but I there was something in me, like a bit of a clipped tongue, that I was like, No, I have to start talking about this so recently, like literally within the last two weeks, I started a Tiktok account of all things, and I finally said it, and I can’t remember exactly how I articulated it, but it was like, is there anybody else out there who loved teaching, loved the the craft of teaching, loved working with kids, But left because of the adults in the room. And yeah, it exploded, and it made me go, Gosh, actually, like, I’m not alone. I’m not alone.
A lot of people have reached out, working in government jobs like nursing and other places like that, saying it is just rife. But yeah, for me, Hayley, it was really difficult because I left corporate, you know, very corporate kind of things, and I went in with this real Mary Poppins. I’m going to change lives. Everyone’s going to be on the same team. And when I look back, I just, I must have been threatening, and I didn’t even realize it. I was there thinking, teach me all that, you know, and trying to just sponge it all in and and there were many operators that had gone from school to uni to school, and in many cases, back to the same school that they went to.
And so when I look at it now, I’m like, well, maybe I what like, I’ve gone and lived seas, I’ve had these other experiences. But, yeah, it was at a point where, like, I didn’t feel I could talk about any like, I remember getting to a point where it was like, don’t talk about your past lives at all. Goodness, you know, I would look in the mirror and think, I can’t wear that, because they are going to judge what I’m wearing today. You know, one thing I spoke about on Tiktok was I like to bake as you as was in my photo. So I’d always bake staff birthday cakes. And I had this woman just rip me because, you know, even your birthday cakes are trying to make other people look bad.
Hayley Quinn 13:56
And oh, my goodness, so somebody in their threat system, isn’t it? I mean, you’re a powerful, dynamic woman, and I guess that is threatening to some people, but it’s like it was making you shrink yourself.
Peita Mages 14:08
Oh, I 100% like, I’ve I’ve said to people that I’ve seen since I left, I’m sorry. I probably wasn’t like, I was like, diet Peita, I wasn’t like, caffeinated Pete, you know, I just, like, shrunk because I just thought, well, you know, having any kind of pizzazz or and the other thing was, like, relationships with kids. If kids liked being in your class, big target on your back.
Hayley Quinn 14:33
Oh, my Goodness me. Isn’t that what you want? But kids aren’t I hated school, isn’t it? What wouldn’t that be like? Love it, enjoy it, go to my classes.
Peita Mages 14:43
Oh, Hayley, I could, like, literally, and that’s what started flooding back to me. And I’ve realized, like, I just, I did not acknowledge the fact that I was bullied. I was bullied, um, absolutely, yeah, and I didn’t leave only because of that. I left because with my kind of personality, I’m going to. Overwork. And if you are capable as a teacher, you get it all. You get the do the student leadership, do the sport, Do this, do that. And I’m just saying, yep, yep, yep, yep. Until I am so I have to acknowledge my own part in why it didn’t work. I will overwork. But I kind of, and I think that was part of you said, like, Why start a business? Well, if I’m going to overwork, you know for yourself, I’d rather do it for myself. But yeah, it’s just been really validating to have not one, not 2000s, of people reach out in the comments, and then ones who are too afraid to do it publicly are like, direct messaging me, saying, Thank you, thank you for talking about this. Because there is an insidious side to working in a school. I hide in the bathroom, I hide in my classroom, and you’re just like, I don’t know. It’s always like, These people haven’t left school. Like, this is, this is bitchy Mean Girls.
Hayley Quinn 16:00
Yeah, playground bullies grow up, yeah, you know. And I think so there’s these different aspects of this, this really kind of toxic culture that was there, and the direct bullying that you’re experiencing, and then also this element of burnout from kind of working in all the wrong ways as well, and I love that you’re speaking out about this, and that you’ve had people from other professions, like nurses, because I think this isn’t unique to teaching. This is a problem in many industries and professions, including psychology. You know, this is something that is problematic. And I love that you’re speaking out, and I love that you’re doing it in a way that is so relatable. I’m not on Tiktok myself. I think I’ve got an account, but I don’t, yeah,
Peita Mages 16:52
I’ve never been active on there either, yeah, but
Hayley Quinn 16:56
I follow you on socials, and honestly, it’s like a it’s like a little joy bubble when your stuff comes across my feed. So so whether people have kids who would be wanting to link into your business, and we’ll talk a little bit more about clever cookie academy or not, you are so worth following on social media to spark joy in people’s lives. Thank you. You are so funny. Your fashion is remarkable, and you talk a lot about that. So that’s my tip for people, just if you want some joy in your life, follow Peita on Instagram, because it’s fantastic. And her husband as well, and the team that you’ve got working you do these fantastic reels. But I digress. So you’d got to this place of like, I can’t keep doing this. Teaching in a school is not for me. Yep, I imagine that was hard as well.
Peita Mages 17:54
It was hard because I thought I remember actually a friend who’s no longer like a close friend, actually. And it’s based on this comment that she said to me, we were having coffee and and I said, you know, having moved from film to teaching, it’s not what I thought, it’s not what I thought it was going to be. And I’ll acknowledge that I went in Pollyanna, I thought, bake each other’s scones and plat each other’s hair, and it’s, it just wasn’t what it was. But, um, she said to me, Oh, well, what are you going to do? Like you can’t reinvent yourself again? Those were literally her words. And I, I’m the kind of person that, if you my husband, will say this, if you issue me a challenge, if you tell me I can’t do something, it just, it just lights it lights me out Paley. It’s like, sometimes I almost feel like I seek, I seek, because then it’s like, Oh, you think I can’t
Hayley Quinn 18:49
just watch me, yeah?
Peita Mages 18:51
So, so I kind of, you know, it was awkward because I’d won this award, but winning the award brought out the vitriol even more. Yeah, even more. And, you know, without going into all the details, it was, it was people that were in positions to make your life that bit harder, like, I’ll give you the extra playground duties, I’ll give you the extra exams, if you like, just stuff like that. And I just thought, you know, I’d asked a little bit of support from exec at the time, nothing was going to happen. And I kind of thought, Well, okay, I need to take a year. I’m going to ask for a year’s leave. And thankfully, they gave me that year’s leave, which felt like a bit of a support a parish, you know, like a Get Out of Jail, if, if, if I wasn’t able to make things work, I didn’t leave thinking, I’m going to start a business. I left thinking I am burnt out and I need to, actually, yes, I need to make money, but at the same time I’m not willing, like, I’m not willing to affect my health anymore, so I’m out of that decision, yeah, that I made, and then, you know, I had been the primary earner. Because I was a head teacher, so I managed a department.
And the time my husband, Rob, had retrained from his corporate career, and he was it was the weirdest blur, because he’s training to do something, you know, or early in the stages of doing something that I initially thought was going to be great, I felt like I’d let him down the path, because, you know, he was like, and he was experiencing, I wouldn’t say the same amount of vitriol, but I would say culture shock. Yeah, culture shock. Of like, what? What is this? Again, loved working with kids, but, yeah, it was just at a point where, you know, I had been that primary earner. He was still working in schools, and I thought, You know what, we’ve got this shed on our property because we live out of town. It’s just sitting there. Let’s just refurb it, you know, not fancy, but to where I could just take some students and that’ll just bring in, you know, even if it brings in the food money. That was really the attitude.
And so it was very clear that, you know, I got my first student, my second student by the end of the term, like we’re talking a school term, so say from February to the to the April. Yeah, I had like 80 students, wow. And I had had to go from a one on one model to a small groups model. We were only doing English. And I kind of said to rob, you’re a maths teacher. Now, why don’t we do it? And so he nervously took stayed at schools, but but after school was kind of doing a little bit, doing a little bit, doing a little bit. And then I think by like halfway through the year, we kind of said right by the end of this year, this business supports the two of like, supports the family.
I guess it was scary, but then he jumped, and obviously, when he jumped, I had, you know, more help with admin. And it’s not just that the hours you’re teaching, it’s the of course, as you know, like, it’s the everything. How do they pay? So, yeah, so within a year to 18 months, we we’d outgrown our little shed, and we had to get premises in town, and now we’ve got, you know, an entire floor of a building, and, like you said, like 400 plus students. So it, it’s not something that I set out to do, but, but I’m definitely so glad that I did not stay somewhere miserable. Truly believe like you can make yourself sick. And I’m, I’m really, absolutely yeah that I didn’t
Hayley Quinn 22:32
Yeah, it’s so inspiring. And I think a lot of people listening, and certainly people who are perhaps on the fence of you know I’m doing this thing, and I’m not really happy with doing this thing, whether that’s employed by somebody or in their own business. That’s not working for them. And I think hearing stories from other women who have said, You know what, this isn’t me and and particularly for you, you’re such a vibrant personality. You’re such You are such a dynamic woman.
And the thought, I mean, I’ve only known you as this version of you, yeah, yeah, think of you as kind of shrinking and staying small is heart is heartbreaking. It’s always like washing the color out of you, you know. And, and there’ll be so many people that are living like that, and we don’t need to. And I think whilst it’s scary and it has its challenges, it’s so worth it, isn’t it, when you jump and do the thing on the other end, had
Peita Mages 23:33
a journey like me will say, I wish, I wish I’d done it earlier. And for me, I was turning 40, so it was like, I’m about to be 40. You know, the color had shrunk from me. I’ve, I’ve always loved singing, and I thought I’ve always wanted to do a musical, but I’m not doing it, because I know that these vibrant people are going to come and they did like they did, and probably sat in the front row and hoped that I fell on my face, and, you know what? I killed. I killed it. Oh, you
Hayley Quinn 24:03
did you put the musical down in orange? Hey, yeah. So
Peita Mages 24:08
I’ve done a couple and but those things, like, when you say the color shrunk, like, my wardrobe changed when I worked there, like, even little things like that that you just think, like, how did I allow this? And it’s that human need for belonging and like I get why it happened. But then I look, I look there now, and I just think, even though there is that small percentage that still continue to follow my business and control, you know, now, instead of feeling sad and like, I don’t know, attacked, I just think, God, I truly I’ve come to a place where I pity them. I feel really sorry for them. Because I think, how sad must your life be if still you want to follow my business like you mentioned, like fashion before, say nasty things. It. It’s just like life’s too hard. You’re clearly really unhappy. I got out, yeah,
Hayley Quinn 25:06
you know, which can be hard for people to say, right? But you mentioned before about, you know, you started changing what you’re wearing. And for anyone listening, I would invite you to just take a moment to think about, how are you showing up in the world in the way the things you’re saying and the things you’re not saying, what you are perhaps wearing or not wearing, and just check in and just see, you know, am I actually living as the version of me I want to or is my context impacting that in a negative way? And that can be a start for people, I think, to tune in, get to know themselves, and then start to ask other questions around how they want their life and their business to be,
Peita Mages 25:52
yeah, almost like, Am I losing myself in this? Yeah, that’s, that’s what it will I mean, clothing is just one little example. But even in the work patterns, and I don’t know like I would come home and mark for hours and hours and hours, because you what you did, and everyone was a martyr, or it was actually interesting, they were either really hard workers or people that did nothing, yeah, and not a lot in between. But I speak about the Fashion One purely because I can remember Rob saying to me one morning, I was making the family late. And you know what it’s like in the morning trying to get kids to school and yourselves to school. And I had, I had just a pile of clothes on the bed, and he’s just like, they all look great, Peita. And, yeah, I couldn’t there was almost a bit of a breakdown, breakdown moment that, like I just was trying to be who they wanted me to be, to just live in peace. You know, it’s gonna
Hayley Quinn 26:49
say, it sounds like you were, you’re in your threat system, even just choosing what to wear in the morning, in case it was the wrong thing that would attract this, this, this attacking behavior. Yeah, yeah.
Peita Mages 27:00
And then, you know, when you see it, then translating to, like, the kids that I’m teaching, I feel like they’re taking it out on them. Like, yeah, it just, it just, was yuck. But yeah, I my message would be that if you feel you are losing, and it’s taken me what I’m five years in business, yeah, it’s taken me this long to actually admit that this happened. So you would be better to say, I don’t know. Is that, like, post traumatic like, I don’t know. I don’t know what it is, but it’s taken me this long to be brave enough to just be like this happened. And even in the marketing of our business, we’re a little bit cheekier now in terms of, you know, there, there are teachers that don’t like that. They that kids that they teach go and get extra help. And at first, you know, we didn’t kind of talk about that, and now we will do full on reels where we make fun of that. We’re like, imagine, imagine being that person that says to a young person, don’t go and get extra help.
Hayley Quinn 28:02
So sad, isn’t it? So tell me a little bit about you know, you’ve been five years in business now you you very much were an overworker in your own words. How has that changed? How do you now kind of maybe take care of yourself better, or maybe you don’t, but I think you do. Yeah, how’s that changed?
Peita Mages 28:23
You know what? I feel like, meeting you changed it for me, in that, in that, I reckon, for the first solid four and a half, it was unhealthy, and it was there were a lot of moments where I went, hang on. I left a job where I overworked, and now all I’ve done is created myself another job where I overworked way worse. So uncommon, right? Oh, absolute warning. Like, who’s attracted to business, they’re hard workers. So it’s not, it’s not all farts and rainbows running a business. So there’d be a lot like me, yeah, and I would listen to people saying, you know, like, put in some self care time, like, you know, or say things like, you’re Wonder Woman, you just go, go, go, go, go, and, like, for a while that will sustain you. And you’ll think, like, wow, you know, I do, I do run at a fast pace. And, yeah, no, that’s, that’s good. And that, that whole, like, glorification of busy stuff, yeah, and it’s, it’s, there’s a moment in the pool, and I know you’ll laugh, because we’re in the pool in Bali, and I was watching these other strong business women that were taking time out, and they were going for a swim. And you know, there was a moment where I had to go back to my room and Mark, because this was the life I have created for myself. And you said something like, you know, we have to look at your business and like, wonder, you know, if you’ve got some golden handcuffs there, you know, like the golden metaphor in English teacher, so you sucked me in there. Hayley, yeah, I It wasn’t something that happened instantly.
I definitely, I took it on board and I had the real. Conversation, but I would say it’s been however long since Bali, it’s been a it’s been a renovation. I think of life and working out that, you know, I can’t it’s unsustainable. Even though I love my business and I’m not facing what I faced before. I’m still going to work myself into, yeah, bad situation, and I’m more likely to look out for the warning signs now too, when I know I’m pushing too hard. So this season of like August to or even July to October, is our big season for the business, because it’s HSC season, right? So the work is on.
I know the work is on, but I’ve been more conscious about, well, where is a bit of a rest time in it for me, little example, I had to drive to cow and speak Friday all day. That’s, you know, 200 kids, high energy. I drove back. We then had to drive to Sydney to take my daughter to a cheer competition. We’re away all weekend. Then I had to drive to Bathurst on Monday and speak in a school. I had to speak speaking to school on Tuesday, like, you know, the work is on, but I made sure that Wednesday, old Peita would have been back at her desk at eight o’clock, because that’s just what you do. Yeah, this Peita was like, No, Rob, can you take the kids to school? I need to sleep in, you know. And by about midday, was I at my computer? Yes, but I wasn’t, you know, I worked from home. Purposely. Hadn’t scheduled stuff in the afternoon so I could sit in my trackies, you know. So I think I’m just realizing that I can’t go, go, go, and I’m trying to monitor how many yeses I say, like, when you’re new in business, you’re Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
And now I’m looking at it and I’m thinking, Oh, that’s a great opportunity. But, you know, do I do I need, or do I want to do that? And if it’s not a really strong, you know, hell yeah, then I’m really, I’m really looking at it and going, do I, do I need this? You know? So, yeah, I feel like we’re trying to schedule the work week in a more sustainable way. Yeah, that’s number one thing that has helped me. But the number two thing, aside from the the time, you know what, how I’m spending my time is I’m making time for creative pursuits, and I think that’s a massive thing for me.
A small part of me dies when I can’t do something outside of the business, and I just get so tunnel visioned. So currently I’m I’m working on a book slowly, but I am, and I’m, you know, having fun with this kind of Tiktok thing that may lead to other things. You know, I’ll continue to do the odd musical or odd thing that that makes me happy, and I need to make time for creativity, because I feel like, you know, I can’t remember the quote I saw the other day, but was something about the connection between anxiety, connection between anxiety and create creativity. And if you don’t, if an, if you don’t allow someone to create, it can really, you know, contribute to them being a really anxious person. And I run on the anxious side anyway, yeah. I need that balance. I need so
Hayley Quinn 33:21
you know for you that that those creative pursuits and getting into flow really helps regulate your nervous system. Hey, in my group, in my time to thrive, group coaching, I have a module where we talk about the different domains of well being, and it really is encompassing all these things. And the whole premise of the work I do with people is really getting to know yourself, because the more we know ourselves, the more we can actually do the things we need. Because for you, being on Tiktok feels really good. It’s that creative energy you get a lot from it. For me, I’d be like, hell no, I don’t want to be on Tiktok at all. So I think when we know ourselves, we can really tune in. So So you and I were in Bali in March, so you know, depending when this podcast comes out, that as we’re speaking, that’s been about a five month process for you of really tuning in and making changes. Yes, it has which is, which is fantastic. And you know the fact that you were like, actually, I need to have a sleep in. I need to rest. I’m not going to go, go, go. That stuff just gives me a buzz. I love hearing that.
Peita Mages 34:34
Well, that’s like for me, because I don’t know, I don’t know if it’s the old athlete mentality in me, but old Peita would be, like, that’s so lazy, you know, because I have been such a go, go, go. But now, you know, you know, I like to exercise as well, right? And I think, I think exercise is, is currently my way of not being medicated the problem. But I, I now will look at it and go, Well, I still want to get this many. Runs all this many workouts in but I can have it both. I guess that’s what I what I didn’t acknowledge before, is, is you can work hard but with an ending site that is, you know, it doesn’t have to be a lot, but it might be a massage, or it might be a lovely bath, or, yeah, I don’t know, just that. I’m still a work in progress, and I know that I am a workaholic, but I’m really I’ve really worked hard in the last five months, and I’m looking at those signs. So like for me, a big sign is when my sleep starts to disappear on me and I will just lay in bed thinking about the next day. And I’ve got to do this. I’ve got to do that. So when, when the body tells me that you know you’re getting near the edge of that again, it’s time for some to focus on rest.
Hayley Quinn 35:53
Yeah, yeah. Whereas previously, you wouldn’t listen to those signs that your body was giving you, and neither did I, and that’s why I ended up, ended up in a severe burnout. And it’s about listening, isn’t it? It’s like listen, because those signs will get louder and louder and louder if we don’t, and if we do, if we can, if we can see things. And I’m all for people working hard, yes, yeah, at work smart, and work in sprints or seasons. We can’t just keep going, going, going non stop for the whole year and then go, well, I’ll take a week off at Christmas or something or at the end of the year.
We need to factor in times where we’re getting rest in lots of different ways, intellectual rest, physical rest, engaging in creativity and flow, which can be a form of rest for you, yeah, so that we can do all those other things. Like for me, it’s about starting the day slowly. I was noticing my nervous system was getting activated when I was starting work at nine o’clock. So apart from when I’m doing podcasts, I have like my diary protection is no one on one calls before at least 1010, 30 in the morning. Yes, unless it’s a podcast interview, yeah, gaps in between things so that you’re not racing from one thing to the next to the next.
Peita Mages 37:19
Yes, yes. See, these are things I could implement like, I’m hearing them and I think I’m a terrible racer. And I also have to be told like, I’m glad that Rob is nearby, because he’s like, up for a walk. We’re walking around the block, because otherwise I would work from nine until when the kids start arriving at 330 and then we teach until eight at night. Yeah. So a normal day for us is 15 hour days, and we’ve been doing five years up until we renegotiated the timetable this term, and it was like, no, actually, I’ll do three full on days like that. But then back half of the week that’s, you know, that’s why we’re doing the podcast today. It’s a Thursday, you know, my protected day. It’s my day where I do things that fill my cup. Yeah? So that’s a huge Yeah. Has been a huge, just a huge change.
Hayley Quinn 38:10
Yeah, that’s wonderful. I will never forget your face in the pool in Bali when we were talking about diary management. Ah, do you remember this?
Peita Mages 38:23
Yeah, I just everything you said. I just was like, oh, that’s the thing you said. It wasn’t the golden handcuffs. Sorry, I got that story wrong. It was when you said, this is actually the change moment. I can’t believe I screwed that up. Sorry,
Hayley Quinn 38:38
screw it up. The golden handcuffs was another thing that we talked about. Hayley drop some
Peita Mages 38:43
like, good bombs, right? You’ve gotta know it. And you said, Peita every time you’re like, I hope I’m saying it the right way. Every time you’re saying yes to something you don’t want to do, just go to your diary and write 4pm resentment. The word is that the thing you’re talking about? And I just was like, I didn’t even, I know I didn’t cover it well, because I just, it just blew my mind that, hey, I’m saying yes to all this shit I don’t want to do, and that’s my fault. I’m not protecting my boundaries. And then four o’clock rolls around and I am, like, livid with myself, yeah? And that has been part of the saying no thing like connecting when I said, you know, say no to some more things. Yeah, that is just, if I could give anyone advice that’s listening to the podcast right now, it’s tried this trick just put resentment, you know,
Hayley Quinn 39:41
anytime in your diary that you do not want to work. If you don’t want to put a client in at five o’clock, or you don’t want to see somebody at nine in the morning, just block it out. Call it resentment. And when you go to then put it in your diary, it’s this reminder of like, I’m going to resent doing this. So I’m going to say. I know,
Peita Mages 40:00
you know what I realized too, from you teaching me. That is, though, the other person that’s asking you to do the thing, they’re protecting their boundaries, so they’re sitting on the other side. Oh, actually, like that, 4pm on a Friday suits me, because timmy’s got swimming and blah, blah, blah. And they’re, they’re actually protecting their boundaries. And you’re, you’re shooting yourself in the foot. Yeah? Like, it just, I don’t know, I don’t know if it was blowing anyone else’s mind, but it really, I remember it was the first thing I said to rob when I got out of the car from the plane. I said, you know, what? Do you know? What someone said to me for this trip? And he was like, like, wow. Yeah, it’s just protecting your own boundaries so that you’re not upset with yourself later, because no one else brought you in that situation. You did that. Yeah, like crazy, absolutely,
Hayley Quinn 40:53
and the other people are happy because you, you gave them what they wanted, but at your expense, because this is the thing every time. And I teach all this in the time to thrive. Group coaching is, you know, every time we’re saying no to saying yes to someone else, we’re saying no to ourselves on some level, and we need to flip that. You know, people think it’s really hard to say no, and it’s like, well, it’s not. You’re just saying it to the wrong person, yes, yes, and it’s really good to yourself. Yeah, if they’re
Peita Mages 41:21
not willing to graciously accept you, no, then are they the kinds of, I don’t know, customers or people that you want in your life too? Yeah, it goes deeper than that. Yeah, absolutely no. I think it’s, um, it’s, it’s something I think as your business gets more established that you’re more comfortable doing obviously, like first year, yes, yes, yes, yes. You want it at midnight, sure, but then you’re actually digging yourself in a hole, because those customers remember, and yeah, they’re wanting to hold you to those same things that just aren’t sustainable. So if I was to do it all over, I would have been not less giving early on, but more I would have policed my boundaries harder, because then you have to, you have to re educate the customer, don’t you, on what absolutely do? Yeah,
Hayley Quinn 42:10
you got to think about, am I building the business I want to be in? Yes, or am I going to build a business that actually is a bit of a cage that’s getting captured in that the golden handcuffs thing. And if it, that’s the thing, if it’s if it becomes a successful business, but you’re having to burn yourself out, you are kind of wearing these golden handcuffs because on the one side, it’s like, but it’s making me the revenue I want, and getting me, you know, the business is successful. And maybe my ego is feeling really good because my business is successful, but it’s keeping me chained to something that actually is no good for me at all, and ultimately I’m not enjoying so I think that we’ve got to be careful of that, and it is a tricky balance at the start of a business, because obviously you need to build your business. But I say to people, hold in mind, though, are you building the business you want to be in?
Peita Mages 43:01
Yep, that’s right. And also to be brave enough that if you build something, and it’s not quite, I don’t know, it’s driven then, then you pivot, you know,
Hayley Quinn 43:12
renovate it as you I love that. To renovate it,
Peita Mages 43:15
I renovated my life. I know we’ve been through tough patches where we’ve definitely looked at each other. Rob and I and said, What if we create like this is a monster. What have we created for ourselves? And I think the the power of it is, of having your own business, is you can work out what you’re willing to do and what you’re not, and you can renovate it.
And I read something recently, and I thought that’s actually really true, is in your life, you know you’ll go through periods of time where maybe you’re not as passionate about the thing that you do that makes you money, but as long as in your life, you have the other pursuits that you enjoy that is balance. I think a lot of people go, Oh, I have to make money from my passion. But how many people do you know that? Like, I don’t know they’re painters, and they love painting in their little art space, and then the minute they’re selling their paintings, they’re like, I hate painting. Like they lose the Yeah,
Hayley Quinn 44:08
you know. And that’s the thing, isn’t it? It’s having these other and again, looking at these domains of well being, and that financial well being may come from your business, and some of perhaps the intellectual stimulation or something might come from your business, but fun and creative pursuits, social connection may not come from your business. That might be from something outside your business, and that’s okay. And sometimes business is really boring. That’s right. Get over it. Find something interesting outside of your business. Your business is not there to entertain you. Yes, that’s right. Yeah,
Peita Mages 44:44
I think I had it twisted at times where I’m like, you have to make money from the thing that gives you joy. And maybe that’s the perfect world. But you know, as long as you find some aspects within this that are enjoyable, it’s okay to go. Well this, this is what brings the money in, and this is, you know, currently.
And we’re always changing. We’re always flexing, like we’re talking about Tiktok before I might do it and go, Oh no, I’m not enjoying that. But I’m not stuck. I’m I’m not relying on it for anything. I’m just experimenting on kind of like, what’s the term? There’s a there’s a person that I follow, and she’s all about fear. And you know, like breaking through your fear, Judy holler, and she’s got a book fear is my homeboy, and in that she talks about fear experiments. And she’s kind of like just every day do something that you don’t want to do, like something that just pushes you out of your comfort zone.
Like, I was driving to a school two days ago and there was a massive accident on the highway, and I had no sense of direction. Hayley, like, I could have been somewhere 10 times, and I’m relying on that. And they closed the highway, and immediately that anxiety of, like, I’m going to be late. I hate being late. How unprofessional, and I don’t know how to get there, like, I’m turning off this road and I have no idea how to get there, but you know what I got there and when I wrote in my journal that night. It probably seems so lame, but I was like, I’m so proud of finding my way. You need a school under pressure, you know? Because I don’t know. I don’t find navigating that’s not fun for me. You know that I feel like just even acknowledging the little things you do every day that that you’ve done something you didn’t want to do. Can can really show you like you are a brave you know the bravery you had?
Hayley Quinn 46:37
Yeah, absolutely. And do you know, Peita, there’s nothing lame about that at all. But isn’t it interesting that that discomfort shows up though, I am going to acknowledge that I’m proud of myself. I’m going to acknowledge that I achieved something that, for me, feels difficult, but to say it out loud in public, I want to shrink a little bit and say, Oh, this might be lame. It’s not, is it? But this is, unfortunately, the context and society that we live in a bit, yeah, and it’s great for other people to hear that, because lots of people struggle to acknowledge, and for me, celebrating the things, no matter how small. And again, I talk about this a lot, and I talk about this in the work I do with people celebrating ourselves, and the things we do, whether they’re small, big or in between, is so important,
Peita Mages 47:28
yeah, and I’m terrible, like, that’s I really need to work on that. I definitely achieve something. And I’m on to the next thing, and then on to the next thing, on to the next I wish. I wish I could be better at that. And the journaling is helping a little bit with that. I just have to, at the end of the day, you know, I’m starting to realize little things like that I got to Bathurst. They’re they’re big things. And like you said, everyone’s different. Like Rob will say to me, Peita, how can you get nervous about driving to Bathurst? But you can get up on a stage, virtually in your undies, and sing a song, you know, like we recently did this dance for cancer and and he was dying, like dying. And to me, I look at him, and I’m so I have so much admiration, because he’s the logistics man, he can get where we need to go. Like, he’s just so clever in all the ways, not clever, which is probably why our business works. Amazing team, yeah. But he I like, it’s funny, isn’t it? One person’s nightmare is another person’s like, no sweat, yeah? So,
Hayley Quinn 48:36
yeah, oh, it’s fantastic. So tell people a little bit about clever cookie Academy, because I’m sure there’s people who are listening, who have kids who are in school, and I would have loved clever cookie Academy when I was a kid, that maybe would have stopped me dropping out of school.
Peita Mages 48:58
Oh, that’s so nice. We definitely recognize school is not for everyone, and if you’re one of those parents that, like my kid has to get nine to nine ATAR, you’re probably not a good fit for us, because we’re very much about keeping it in perspective and healthy kids and sustainable study practices. So in terms of our business, our whole mantra is that trying hard is cool, you know?
And it’s, it’s a good thing to try. There’s a lot of apathy in young people today, unfortunately, just sometimes they’re a little bit, you know, I don’t, I don’t care or and sometimes it’s just that they’re not cut out like school is a very in a box situation. But the minute you walk into our place of business, it’s colorful, it looks nothing like a school, it smells nothing like a school.
The biggest comment we get is, God, that session went fast. Or, you know, I love that, and that’s why we’re always sharing testimonials, because it’s like, you know, we’ve had to advertise because people like being. There. But I guess in terms of what we do, we do face to face tutoring, which helpful.
We have people drive up to two hours, which is so lovely. We go into schools and deliver boot camps. So we hit the road, and we’re often, you know, all over Australia, really delivering kind of skills boot camps to kids. But then we also teacher trained as well. So we do professional development, we do holiday master classes. So quite often, people from even as far as Sydney, you know, parents will come for a bit of a stay, K and they’ll do the orange wineries, and then they’ll send their kids to, like, some HC boot camps, but recently we thought we’ve got to take this broader, and we had a lot of that. So we’ve got some virtual classrooms happening. We’ve developed some online courses. We’ve started with the pointy end, which is like the HFC end, but if your child is living anywhere in New South Wales, or even expat wherever they’re listening from, they can pop on and get just a really solid group of master classes. And I’ve recently developed a sustainable study guide, which is useful for anyone,
Hayley Quinn 51:14
anybody, whether they’re New South Wales or not. That
Peita Mages 51:18
I use some New South Wales terms, but it, it would be the same thing for QCE VCE, like any of say you’re preparing for final exams in any way, and it’s just all about, you know, I guess doing it properly. Kids, kids think that when they write their notes out over and over, they’re studying, but there’s so many better, funner, more interactive ways like that. That way doesn’t work. And I think in school, teachers are stressed. They’re trying to get through the curriculum so they don’t actually teach them how to study. So kids are facing exams, and they’re like, oh, I don’t know how to do this. So, yeah, we’ve priced it really altruistically. It’s like, for 50 bucks, you could literally change your kids relationship with, you know, how they feel about preparing for exam. And I’d like to think it goes beyond exam. Exams of this, you know, in the scale of your life, it’s more, it’s more, doubling
Hayley Quinn 52:14
the lifelong,
Peita Mages 52:18
yeah, and learning, like, I guess that’s the thing with us, is we’re passionate about like, as you age, you don’t stop when you finish school, you don’t just stop learning.
Hayley Quinn 52:27
That’s when I started.
Peita Mages 52:31
We’re perfect examples. We’re career we’re career retrainers. We’re constantly learning, right? And I think it is those people that learn one thing go into the job and they’re like, Well, I don’t like this. Maybe that’s a big part of it is they’re not willing to, yeah, to do the renovation. Or you’ve gotta, you gotta keep learning. You gotta keep learning. And I know I don’t teach the way I did 10 years ago, like you could take all those resources and chuck them in the bin, because kids change. I’ve changed, you know. So, yeah, so it’s, it’s a lot of fun, and I say for now, because Hayley, like, you know, I’m a, I’m a work in progress, but, but, yeah, I’m very proud of the booming business that we have, especially in a small town, you know, proud that we have that many kids coming to us.
Hayley Quinn 53:26
So just in relation to the the study guide, because I have a an international audience with podcasts, I’m just wondering, is it the sort of thing? Is it? Is it generic enough that people who are not part of the Australian school system would also benefit for their kids with that.
Peita Mages 53:42
Yeah, so fantastic. If they’re expatting and they’re doing their either their HSC or their now, the IB, or any anything like that, it would absolutely work. It’s more the it’s the framework behind how you study effectively. So they’ll see terms in it, like HSC, and they may not be taking that, but it’s more how you organize your day. It’s taking the brain breaks. It’s, you know, have you like, it’s quite holistic. You’d be surprised, workaholic. You’d be very surprised. But I made sure that it’s like, sustainable, sustainable, yeah, and the ways of
Hayley Quinn 54:20
Yeah, so that if there’s a parent listening who’s based in England and they’re in the English school system, they could still benefit from this.
Peita Mages 54:29
We’re not far from their curriculum anyway, yeah, fantastic. And it’s English centric, but every child in every country you know, pretty much like has to study, especially in England, yeah, it has to do English. But so many people are coming back saying, you wrote it based on English. But gosh, my kids benefited from using it for maths and for science and because it’s it’s more than
Hayley Quinn 54:54
it’s the mind, skills training and mindset. It’s basically
Peita Mages 54:57
like long story short, kids study path. Massively, and they need to study, actively shifting them from they think they’re studying, but they’re just in their room wasting their time.
Hayley Quinn 55:11
Yeah, fantastic. Oh, I love that. So I ask everybody this question that comes on the podcast. I’m always curious about the answer, if you could meet your 80 year old self today. What do you think she would say to you?
Peita Mages 55:27
I hope she would say, you’ve done enough, to be honest. I think I’m it’s never enough. Maybe in Bud Light, you know, they say you put back on the planet to learn a lesson. I feel like, probably, I’ve been here a lot, and I haven’t learnt that one yet. You know that it’s enough. So I hope that she would say, gosh, you know, you wore a lot of hats, you did a lot of things, you impacted a lot of people and and it was enough. That’s, that’s what I hope. Yeah, I don’t know. Is that a weird answer? What do people normally say?
Hayley Quinn 56:09
I love, I love that your mind goes to is that right, did i Isn’t it interesting? I think we’re so curious as human beings. Your answer is beautiful. And I think she might say you wore a lot of hats, and, my gosh, the fashion of them was wonderful. To Alan,thank you. Oh my gosh, Peita, honestly, it’s it’s a pleasure to know you. It’s an absolute pleasure to know you, and it’s a pleasure to have had you on the podcast. And I think your story and the things you’ve done in your life are inspiring. I look forward to reading your book.
Peita Mages 56:45
Thank you.
Hayley Quinn 56:47
I really do think people will get a lot from the episode. I will put all your links in the show notes, and I highly encourage I said it earlier. I’ll say it again if you just want some joy sprinkled in your life. Follow Peita and her husband Rob on Instagram under clever cookie Academy, because their reels are just fantastic.
Peita Mages 57:07
Oh, thank you Hayley. And I would say to people listening to this, you know, I credit you so much in terms of changing my mindset. So if there’s someone out there that like, if you identify with even a tiny bit of my story, get behind Hayley and get into her course. I’ve seen, like, some of the slides, and they look incredible, and I have no doubt that at some point I will be joining not just knowing you as a human, it’s, it’s that sense of, I can’t explain it, but you really are like, you’re a Chicken Soup for the Soul. And to know you is, yeah, you have to know you to understand that. But I’m sure that’s what all of your clients say, and that’s what all of your coaching clients say. So thank you for the impact you’ve made in my life. I’ve sincerely mean that.
Hayley Quinn 57:58
Oh, thank you, Peita, it’s been such a pleasure. Thanks for coming on.
Peita Mages 58:04
No worries. Thanks for having me.
Hayley Quinn 58:09
Thank you for sharing this time with me today. I hope our time together has been helpful and supportive. If there has been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I invite you to share it with another person you think might benefit. If you’ve benefited in any way from the podcast, please do me a favor and show my pod some love by giving it a five star rating and review ratings, reviews and shares really help to increase awareness and reach of the podcast, allowing this helpful information to be spread more widely. All Reviews are welcome and much appreciated.
If you do share on socials, remember to tag me so I can see who is listening, because you never really know over here in podcast land, and I can reach out personally to say thank you. If you would like to be notified when the next episode airs, please use the link in the show notes to join our mailing list. If you have any particular topics you’d like to learn more about, or guests you’d like to hear from, please reach out and let me know. I’d love to hear from you. Music and editing by Nyssa Ray, thanks, Nyssa, I wish you all well in your relationship with yourself and your business, may you go well and go gently and remember, if you thrive, your business can too.
Peita Mages Links
Website: www.clevercookieacademy.com.au
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