Episode #13 Welcome Back

Hi, this is Welcome to Self ™ Caring for the Human in the Therapist Chair, and I’m your host, Dr. Hayley D Quinn, fellow human, clinical psychologist, supervisor and trainer. Welcome to Self ™ is a place where you can come and learn ways to elevate your own care and compassion. A place to rest, be soothed, and at times maybe gently challenged to think about yourself and your practice. A place to remember that you are human first, choose the helping profession is just one of the roles in your life. My aim is that this is a place of soothing, comfort, nourishment, growth and nurture. A place where you can also welcome your self.

 

Hi, and welcome back to another season of Welcome to Self®, Caring for the Human in the therapist chair. I’m really excited to bring you season two, and I’ve got some really great people lined up, so I hope you’re going to really enjoy this season

 

It’s been a strange start to the year, we’re entering into the third year of the pandemic and I think generally, most, if not all of us, are struggling with this, so it’s important that we remind ourselves that we’re dealing with a lot and these are in no way normal times.

 

And it’s understandable, if we are not engaging in life the way we used to. It’s also important that we acknowledge any grief that we’re experiencing in terms of being separated from loved ones or having to cancel important plans, or just that life isn’t as we would want it to be right now.

 

So how are you feeling? Why don’t you take a moment to check in with yourself, notice the rhythm and the pace of your breath and then maybe let your out breath extend a little longer. Just breathe.

 

Doesn’t it just feel better when you slow down.

So when I was thinking about doing this episode, I thought I would share an experience I’ve had in this new year in the hope that it might be helpful for you too. I was fortunate enough at the beginning of the new year to have some time away with my husband. And we went to a really beautiful place in the Noosa Hinterland called Noosa Eco Retreat. And I might just rave about that a little bit because it was amazing!

Now I have no affiliation with the Noosa Eco Retreat. I’m not getting paid to advertise their business, I just really thought it was an amazing, beautiful place, and what they’ve done there is really worth knowing about.

We went there for three nights and stayed in a beautiful luxury yurt. It borders the National Forest, has a little kitchen, bathroom, and everything you need. I thought about how I wanted that stay to be and one of the things I knew was I wanted to really switch off and relax. Now I went into this break as a self-confessed phone addict. Prior to this, you could always guarantee I’d know where my phone was, I would be on it a lot, I was using social media a lot not just for work, but also just for pleasure, but was it really pleasure? Certainly a lot of scrolling and I didn’t want this to be the case whilst I was away, so I made a choice that I wasn’t going to use my phone unless it was for emergencies, or significant and meaningful conversations with people. I’m really pleased to say that I managed to go the whole four days without using my phone except for some meaningful, significant conversation and for taking photographs when I was there.

I thought it was going to be really difficult to do that, but it was actually far easier than I thought.

 

Whilst we were there, we went walking a lot, we had the pleasure of seeing kangaroos and other wildlife, we canoed and swam in the dam, and we ate when we were hungry. I tuned in frequently to how I was feeling, and I decided that if I felt tired, I would allow myself to nap or sleep. By the end of this trip, when I was reflecting, I realized that I have had quite a resistance to sleeping, during the day that is. As many of you know, I live with chronic illness, and I can get very fatigued, and I realized that this resistance to sleeping meant that when I was tired I more often than not would opt for watching a show on Netflix. This felt passive and restful, but I also know that it’s not, it’s still engaging with more stimuli, it still requires my attention, it still requires something of me and my mind. So, I made a new intention for myself that in future if I’m feeling fatigued, and I feel too tired to read, then that’s when it’s important that I go and lay down, close my eyes and have a nap or fall asleep. Now I chose reading because I also want to watch less Netflix anyway, so had decided that I was re-engage with my love of reading more this year. At the height of my illness, I found it near impossible to read, so it’s been lovely over the past few years to slowly get back into enjoying books more.

I also made the choice to limit my social media use. I decided that if my phone wasn’t near me or in sight, it was far less likely that I would just automatically pick it up and start using it. So I no longer have my phone in my bedroom at night and I no longer carry my phone around with me, I put it somewhere out of sight during the day and I decided that I would check my social media in the morning and in the early evening and I have to say it’s been one of the best things I’ve done. I am so much more present to the other more meaningful things in my life.

 

When I am on social media now, I do my best to really pay attention to how I feel and at times I notice my anxiety increasing, because let’s face it, there’s so much information on social media and it’s not always great. When I notice this, I turn it off. Now again, don’t get me wrong I’m not doing this perfectly, sometimes I do scroll on my phone more than I want to, but I’m happy to say at the moment at least, it’s rare.

 

Now I know everybody doesn’t have the opportunity to take four days and go and sit in a Yurt and reflect although if you do have the opportunity, I would highly recommend it. But we do all have the opportunity to slow down, to stop and tune in and really listen to our wisdom, even if you can only give yourself five minutes to tune in and think about the things that are helpful for you.

And then maybe later in the day or the next day, you could give yourself another five minutes to think about the things that are really unhelpful.

Maybe you can give yourself some time to think about some of the behaviours you might like to change, it can just be something small. It can be something big if you want, but it only has to be something small.

 

Connecting with your values ask yourself, what is important to me?

I was wasting so much time on social media and watching Netflix, precious time that I can now use in ways that are far more meaningful for me, time I can use in ways that take care of me and my well-being. Time, that I know I’m not getting back.

 

When you think about gifting yourself even some small moments, notice what shows up for you and then ask yourself – even if this brings me some discomfort, can I still gift myself the time to slow down, reflect and focus on what is important to me, and what would be helpful for me.

 

I hope that despite all the challenges and uncertainty that we all face this year that 2022 is a good year for you. One that holds joy, peace, love, rest and compassion for yourself and others.

 

I’m excited to be back bringing you the podcast. I hope you’re excited for the upcoming episodes as well. In the meantime, go well and go gently with yourself.

 

Thank you for sharing this time with me today. I hope your time here was helpful and supportive. If there has been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I invite you to share it with another person you think might benefit. I’d also love it if you’d like to leave a review wherever you tune in. Reviews really helped to increase awareness of podcasts, meaning I can spread helpful information more widely. All reviews are welcome and much appreciated. As I know they take time out of your day. If you’d like to be notified when the next episode airs, please use the link in the show notes to join my mailing list. Music and editing by Nyssa Ray. Thanks Nyssa. I wish you all well in your relationship with yourself. And may you go well and go gently.

 

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Disclaimer
This transcript may not be an exact representation of the audio