Episode #47 Getting Out of Your Own Way with Dr Hayley Kelly
This transcript is computer generated and may contain errors and not be an exact representation of the audio
Hi This is Welcome to Self® and I’m your host Dr Hayley D Quinn, fellow human, business owner, and coach for women like you who want to increase your own self-care and self-compassion, change the relationship you have with yourselves and your business and elevate your business to a new level so you can live the full and meaningful life you desire.
Welcome to Self® is a podcast for women business owners. It is a place where you can come and learn about the practices that will assist you as a business owner, get tips on how to engage in your business in a way that is sustainable for you, realise that you’re not alone in the ways that you struggle, and have your curiosity piqued on various topics as I chat to wonderful guests and bring you solo episodes.
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Hayley Quinn
Hey, Hayley, thank you so much for coming on to the podcast. It’s a bit like the Hayley show today really, isn’t it?
Hayley Kelly 3:21
It’s going to be confusing- a little bit B1 and B2 but H1 and H2.
Hayley Quinn 3:29
So can you start with for people who don’t know you please tell us a little bit about yourself and what led you to the business that you’re now in?
Hayley Kelly 3:37
Great question. And yes, I’d be delighted. Firstly, thank you for having me. This feels like a very huge honour and privilege to be sitting with you in this space and having a conversation. So thank you, first and foremost. I’m Dr. Haley Kelly. And I am a clinical psychologist. And I’m also the CEO and founder of therapists rising. And we are on a mission to disrupt and revolutionise the mental healthcare system. And we do that by helping and supporting therapists to build future proof, sustainable businesses, primarily and as a first point through the creation of signature programmes.
Hayley Quinn 4:24
Fantastic. So you run your own business helping therapists expand outside of the one on one of therapy work. Can you share with us why you’re so passionate about that?
Hayley Kelly 4:35
Yeah, I think it comes from my own direct experience as so many of the things I think that we do in life are so heavily informed. And I think painted on the canvas of our life and I’ve had direct experience of how harmful the system can be both as a consumer of mental health services at all, and also as part of the workforce. And I think my experience has led to a deep sense of disillusionment, and burnout. And at that point in time, I felt like my only option, like and of course, I had all of those stories around like, I’m a bad therapist, and this is a me thing. And other people don’t struggle with the work the way that I do. And I felt like my only option at that point in time was to completely step away. And I think we hear that all the time, right? When we talk to our colleagues and our peers that I do have, like, I’m just gonna go and open a cafe or run an Airbnb, or whatever. Exactly, they sit there seem to be some favourites as like the escape routes for people. But I think I felt like that, at that point in time, there is no, there is no other option for me, other than to completely remove myself from the system. And it was, it was deeply distressing. I think, as well, as I’ve reflected on, on this journey more and more. It was distressing to sit in the fact that I hold the value of service and impact so deeply. It’s such a core value for me to leave the world a better place than when I got here. And the expression of that being through the practice of mental health care. It was distressing to know that the system that I had devoted my life to, in the service of others was, was the same system that was hurting me, that felt deeply distressing. And I’d also had experiences that parallel that as a consumer. So I’m an neurodivergent therapist, and the traditional format of therapy did not serve me well. And in fact, there were lots of times where I, I can absolutely say that I was harmed by the traditional practice of therapy. So I think that stepping away because I did step away, I stepped into coaching, which is like an adjacent, I guess, place to see. But nonetheless, I sat there for a little while and had that realisation of oh my god, like the skills that I have, are incredibly transferable. The skills that I have are not only transferable, but they are highly in demand in the broader market. I just need to figure out a way to use what I’ve got, like I don’t have to start again, I don’t have to completely abandon my history and my experience I can I can find a way to make this work. And I did. And it was really successful. And I had an amazing time coaching. But people started to ask me friends, peers, colleagues started to say, how are you doing this? How are you building a coaching business, telling me the secrets and I eventually got sick of it? And thought, okay, okay, I’m getting the message that this is maybe the next step in my evolution. And so, for me, it was about coming back to serve, again, internally, and finding a way to help my friends, my peers, my colleagues, the system consumers to innovate and revolutionise the system of mental health care for the better for everyone. But my heart lies with the workforce with my friends, and how can I contribute back to the way that they experience their career in a sustainable longevity sense? And a well being sense.
Hayley Quinn 8:55
Gosh, I mean, you and I are on the same page with that, for sure. So this really came about and for myself as well. And for many, many people, like you say, from this quite confronting experience of, I can’t keep doing this as a psychologist the way that it’s meant to be done in the system that we work in. And then like you say, you’ve kind of built this business because people were saying, I see you doing this thing. I want to know how to do this thing as well. And then you’ve created this wonderful container for therapists in your Therapists Rising company. It’s absolutely wonderful. So if you were starting your business from scratch tomorrow, knowing all that you know now because I think there’s lots of people that do want to kind of whether whether they’re therapists or not work, where they want to make changes, do things so that they can have more sustainable ways of being in business. But a lot of the time people are scared, aren’t they to make a change? It’s almost Better the devil you know, stick with what’s familiar, even though I know it’s harming me, or that it’s not suiting my lifestyle, or perhaps my season of life has changed. But there’s fear to move forward. So if you were doing it all again tomorrow, what do you think you’d do differently? And what would you keep the same?
Hayley Kelly 10:12
In, in the grand scheme of things, I would change nothing.
Because I know that that’s the path that I had to walk to learn the lessons that I needed to learn. And the lessons were the things that got me here. So in that sense, I wouldn’t change anything. And I deeply appreciate past versions of me and the struggle that she went through and the choices that she made with the information that she had available, because she did the best she could. And I truly believe that. So I don’t think I would change anything that she did. In the grand scheme of things. However, some of the fundamental lessons that I’ve learned, if I went now and started another business, there are things that I would do differently now. I wouldn’t go back and change anything, but from this vantage point going forward, there are definitely really powerful lessons that I’ve learned both as a therapist, as a business owner, and as a human being, that I would carry into whatever that venture was. And I think one of those things is, and probably the most important is to get over myself. And I think this traverses, this traverses all three of the aspects of, you know, who I am as a person, not in not in their entirety. But like when I sort of think about how long it took me and how many bumps on the head I had to get from other therapists asking me can you like, can you tell me how you’re doing this? Can you provide supervision or like, is this something that you can give me, like the amount of clues that the universe had to send my way of like, maybe this is the next career move, maybe you should think about turning this into something that makes you some cash, it took me far longer, then I probably now feel comfortable with to recognise that that was the next step in evolution in my career. And I think that there was a lot of self doubt that played into that the imposter syndrome, which interestingly, didn’t play as much of a part, when I stepped into coaching, I feel a lot more confident stepping into coaching than I did stepping back. And I think it’s, you know, the fear of judgments, we can be exceptionally harsh on each other internally, against each other. So I was really scared to bring what I had learned about marketing and business, an author creation, and all of these really important skills that I had, I was terrified to bring them back. And because no one, I think people are starting to change. But no one really talks like I do, as I think as openly about the things that I talk about when it comes to sales and marketing and money. There aren’t many people in our space, especially not a few years ago, who were talking like that. And so it was really powerfully confronting. So I think that first lesson of like, Get over yourself and just do the thing is probably one of the most powerful,
Hayley Quinn 13:25
step out your own way. And I think you know, you’re in a, in an industry or had been and then came back to an industry where sales and marketing really isn’t something that’s talked about isn’t taught. And I guess in any type of business, there’s areas that just don’t kind of fit the status quo of the business you’re in. So when you kind of come in and start disrupting that, or being a bit of a change maker, leading from the front, it does bring up the fear, doesn’t it? It does fit bring up that fear of judgement, or the sense of you know, who am I to be in here talking about this? What are people going to think so good on you for actually, knowing, noticing that and being with that, but still moving forward? Because what you offer to people is just so valuable.
Hayley Kelly 14:10
I think back Thank you. And I think the I think the most important lesson that’s, that comes from that fear and coming out the other side of it is knowing that the judgement is not only part and parcel of life, like people are going to judge you no matter what. Like, it’s not just internally in our industry, like it’s being a mum, it’s being a woman, like, you’re gonna face judgement everywhere. So, judgement is not an optional part of life, like you can’t tick the box and opt out of judgement. It’s gonna happen. And in actual fact, I’ve changed my relationship a lot with judgement, in the sense that where I was once really scared and hesitant to be in its presence, I now relish its presence. And I think the way that my relationship is to change with it is that I see it as an indicator of impact, an indicator of being visible an indicator of using my voice and an indicator of standing for the things that I truly believe in. And when you sort of think about the people have history, who have made the biggest impact on the world, they haven’t been the same as everyone else. They’ve had a mission, a message that has gone against the grain, that has been different from others. And I’m not saying that I’m going to be go down in the history books of life or anything. I’m definitely not saying that. But I think the lesson is, if you want to make a big difference, and if you want to stand for change and improvement, then you’ve got to have an opinion that other people are probably going to judge because it’s different from what most other people are saying.
Hayley Quinn 15:59
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, Change only comes when we make change, right. So if it’s exactly what everybody’s doing, and the same as everything else, then nothing is ever going to change.
Hayley Kelly 16:08
And so we have to be willing to risk it for that.
Hayley Quinn 16:12
Yeah, absolutely. So what do you think are the key factors? For people who want to start and successfully run their own business?
Hayley Kelly 16:25
It’s a great question, A: get over yourself
Hayley Quinn 16:29
Just keep getting out of your own way
Hayley Kelly 16:33
I think that’s definitely the case. I think to run a business, we, we need to understand that, while the business is an expression of us, in terms of our interests, things that we do, well, maybe some of the weaknesses that we have, the business is like a physical expression, born into reality of us of our vision. But it’s not us. And I think this is a really powerful lesson that every single business owner needs to or hopefully should traverse the landscape of your business is not you doesn’t represent your worth. It doesn’t reflect anything about you. And I think the more that we can depersonalise business, especially for us in the helping industries, the heart centred people, people with big missions, where their mission is, like super close to their heart and their soul, the more you can depersonalise the vehicle, which is business, like the business is literally the car you get in to deliver your mission, more that you can make that less about you and more about it being a set of problems to solve and data to interpret decisions to make. Then it becomes an easier place for us to emotionally hold the bigness of both the vision and also business the vehicle. Yeah,
Hayley Quinn 18:13
I can imagine that we have people listening to that, and thinking, but if I take myself out of the business, if it’s not about me, and what I want for my, my customers and clients, and it’s all about data, then doesn’t that make it sort of not what I want it to be? What would you say to that?
Hayley Kelly 18:29
Hell to the no, it just means that it’s going to be the best, most capable vehicle of getting you there. And where I think we should be tying ourselves to instead of the business, it’s the mission, its purpose, it’s the why. Right? So if we can tie ourselves fundamentally to what am I here to achieve? What am I here to do? Who am I here to serve? And how am I going to change their life or make it better for them? That’s what business does, right? We deliver a service that hopefully makes people’s lives better, hopefully. But if we’re all wrapped up in the car, the vehicle being like, reflective of our own worthiness, it’s going to go nowhere, it’s going to end up in a dumpster fire. Because everything that happens we’re going to interpret as personal so if we get a rejection from a customer, if we get a refund request, if we have a bad launch, if we can’t hit revenue goals, instead of those things being data to interpret and then improve upon. They become a reflection of us now capacity and our worth, which they’re not. But when they are tied to those things, business becomes exceptionally hard to grow to scale to manage Yeah, and I think,
Hayley Quinn 20:02
you know, I would imagine those are the times then as well, when it does become harder. When we are saying that each each point of business is so crucial and critical to me and my worth and what people will think of me. One, you’re absolutely setting yourself up for burnout, until you’re far more likely to turn around and go, Why am I even doing this? I don’t want to do this. This isn’t fun. It’s not enjoyable. And I think like you say, your why. And as you say, your mission is the thing that is personal. What I want for the people I serve is X Y, Zed. How I’m going to do that, in essence, doesn’t matter. As long as I actually get them there.
Hayley Kelly 20:43
Yeah, yeah. It makes you fluid and adaptable, right? Like when we detach ourselves from the vehicle from the business. Yeah, it means we’re open to being proven wrong, right. So let’s just say I create this business, because I feel like that’s the way that I’m going to be able to deliver on the mission. Then a couple of steps down the track, you go, Oh, hang on a second. There’s a better option available for this, like I can improve on this in this way. And it’s going to, like, only just increase my capacity to get there. If we’re all up in it, and it’s all up in us, we can’t see those decisions. Clearly, we’re going to be attached to the vehicle as being the one right and only way of getting where we need to go. And there’s a Lamborghini driving past, we’re in an old Volvo. Like, we’ve got to be able to recognise that sometimes the way that our business looks right now isn’t the best way to get there. But if we’re personalising it, it’s really hard to see that.
Hayley Quinn 21:48
And I, again, really hard to listen to what your clients are asking of you. Really hard to listen to what people are saying, this would help me it’s like, well, that might help you. But I want to do it my way. And this is the way I’m going to do it. Because I’ve worked for so long perfecting this way. And it’s like, nobody wants it that way.
Hayley Kelly 22:06
Exactly. And then you wonder why you’re not making any revenue. Because you’re not listening. You’re not You’re not seeing the vehicle as adaptable, as being as big as being able to move and transform as your knowledge as your progress dictates. Yeah.
Hayley Quinn 22:26
And I think, you know, one of the things from my perspective, is that when we’re in business is to have it be enjoyable, so that we’re not getting caught up in the things that are difficult. Let’s face it, being in business, whether that’s a solo business, whether that’s running a company with lots of employees, it’s hard, and there’s times it’s really hard. So for me, I always like to think about, okay, how do I want to do that. So it’s fun, and it’s enjoyable, and I can reflect on those fun and enjoyable times when things are challenging, so I can actually keep going. So I’m interested to know, what do you enjoy most about your work and working for yourself? And what do you find most challenging? And then how do you actually manage the challenging times?
Hayley Kelly 23:12
A great question. I feel like the thing that I love is also the double-edged sword, it turns into the thing that I hate at the same time. And I think being neurodivergent I have a lot of traits and tendencies that lend themselves really well to entrepreneurship. So, my ability to think outside of the box, my ability to look at data, my ability to question the status quo, my ability to take risks, and do things differently, impulsivity, all of those things, I think, lend themselves beautifully to entrepreneurship. But at the same time, my ADHD is probably one of the things that tends to get in the way as well. So things like time management, and knowing how long a task is going to take and running late for things not being able to use project management and not having enough support to buffer some of the executive functioning deficits that I experienced. That’s the stuff that then tends to make it painful. Yeah. And I think they’ll even be people listening. They’ll be like, oh, yeah, I hear that. Yeah, absolutely.
Hayley Quinn 24:25
So how important do you find having a support system around you whilst running your business? What do you think is most helpful about this? You kind of mentioned you don’t always have the right amount of support. So what would you do differently there?
Hayley Kelly 24:41
Yeah, I think, again, business – I think the reality of business is that it is a constantly evolving process. And there is this constant inter To play between finding the problems and solving it, but having limited resources based on the level that you’re at, right, so I think there’s this always this tension between growth and resources available. Like I feel like that is the constant tension, whether it’s, we need, we need more staff, because we just had an explosion in student enrollments. But now we don’t have enough staff to deliver it. So I’m having to do all of the customer service and manage the Facebook group and all these things, or whether it’s capital, like we need to invest in either staff, people, or systems, or whatever it’s going to be to get to the next level, but we were not yet at that capital. We’re not at that revenue that revenue yet. And there’s always that constant juggling of the next step, with a lag in resources, I feel like, and I think for me, that’s the really frustrating part, because I can see so clearly where we’re going to go. And I don’t deal overly well with the frustration of being confined by the reality of where we are. Right? So I’m already at like, a $5 million business, operating with the resources of, you know, just under a million. So it’s like, well, how do we actually behave and perform like a $5 million business? If we’re still running on the resources of a business that isn’t even at a million yet?
Hayley Quinn 26:39
It’s so tricky, isn’t it? Because then if you had this, the extra staff, you’d free yourself up to do the things that would move you to the next level of your business. But like you say, there’s that constant tension. So in terms of sort of having support around you, not necessarily as in staff or systems, but actually a support system where you can kind of be like, ah, you know, this is so frustrating, or this is so difficult, or, yay, I had a win, because I’m a big believer, and we need to have people who will support us not only in the times, that we’re finding challenging, but having people around us that will cheerlead and be really excited when we do something. Because I think in a lot of areas, in society, unfortunately, people are happy to support you when you’re down. Not necessarily so happy to be there to lift you up and cheer you on and put you out front when you’re doing really well. Which I think is quite sad. For me. I think finding people who do that can be really, really important. What are your thoughts on that?
Hayley Kelly 27:43
I totally. I mean, there’s a reason why the the proverbial saying is misery loves company, right? Like, I think there’s a part of the human condition, and there’s a part of not just the human condition, but there’s a part of our cultural experience and social expectations that dictate that we’re much more comfortable being in the misery than we are in celebrating people’s wins because it sparks jealousy and envy, and all of those really uncomfortable things. So I definitely agree with you. And what I would say about support from like a non hiring perspective, like the supports that I have in place to help me through this journey, has been game changing. Like, without them. If I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t be here, I wouldn’t be here without a network of people around me who get the experience that I’m going through who we can have those deep conversations, and they truly get it. It’s not just at face value, where you’re like, sounds really interesting, but can actually sit in the messy middle of business with you. And can not only go oh my god, yes, I get it because I’m either going through it or I have been through it, but can then offer suggestions and advice and different perspectives. So having, having a mentor and I’ve got a number of different mentors, all at different stages of their own business journey. And I’ve got a an army of entrepreneur friends and peers who are the backbone of how I can do what I do, as well as my husband. The one thing that I find challenging, and I’ve only probably recently become aware of this is that the further along the mentor is in their journey. So for example, I have a mentor, who is an incredibly successful businessman, sold a company for 40 million, in another startup now has accumulated massive amounts of wealth and success and sometimes there is a large disconnect when that person is further along in that journey, because there’s distance between when they were the version of me, right. And so sometimes it’s really important when you’re either looking at someone who’s further along and you’re like, I want to be that person, I’ve just got to start doing the things that they’re doing, which is the advice that we hear out in the, in the big wide world, right? Like, find a mentor and just do what they do, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel success leaves clues, that sometimes the clues that we’re trying to instil in our own business, we haven’t taken the journey for those clues to actually fit right now. And we try to squeeze them in and do too much. And I’m going to have 400,000 videos of you know, X, Y, and Z so I’ve got enough content. I think that’s really important to remember, like, you’ve got to get a really good crew of different stages. take their advice, but you’ve still got to filter it. Yeah,
Hayley Quinn 31:06
Absolutely. I couldn’t agree more. I think sometimes, it’s like, you’re taking advice for a stage that you’re just not at.
Hayley Kelly 31:14
It’s like kindergarten talking to a year twelve about taking the HSC. Like, it’s just not going to be helpful.
Hayley Quinn 31:22
Part of the programme that I run, we have a section in that that is literally called start where you are at. And it’s so important that we recognise that isn’t it? And yes, we can still seek advice and wisdom from people further down the track. But we have to be where we are, we can’t jump 10 steps ahead and think, Oh, well, I’ll just do these things. And it will work. I was having a conversation actually, with my husband the other day, about when you’re training other people, whether that’s bringing on staff, or you’re doing workshops, or whatever, we have to start with beginner’s mind, we have to remember what it was like to actually not know all the things we know now, which can be really hard, right?
Hayley Kelly 32:05
Yeah, definitely. Like, I think when we’re at that level, when we’re when we operate at the level that we’re at, in that moment, the distance between us in the past version of ourselves in every facet of the past version of ourselves, whether it’s skills, mindset, whatever. I think we vastly underestimate the distance between those two things. And we forget, we forget how hard it was, we forget the things that we didn’t know, because now it just feels like second nature, because we step into being unconsciously competent at the thing that we do. And so we no longer have to think about it’s like playing the piano. And you’re up on a symphony stage playing the piano, you’re not sitting there, like, it’s in every key and looking back at this, you know, the chords. And we don’t do that because we were unconsciously competent at that thing, and the person we’re sitting with is usually either unconsciously incompetent, so they don’t know what they don’t know or they’re consciously incompetent. They’re like, ah, there’s so much I don’t know, I don’t know what I’m doing here and tell me tell me, and then you just overwhelm them with stuff?
Hayley Quinn 33:15
Yeah, absolutely. I think there’s some really good points. I think it speaks to having a range of people in your support system as well, isn’t it? People who are at the same level, as you, people who’ve done more than you, people who are not even doing what you’re doing, so you can talk about something that is not business?
Hayley Kelly 33:34
Are there other conversations apart from business?
Hayley Quinn 33:38
It’s like, oh, maybe I should just talk about something that’s non business related with people that don’t care about running businesses.
Hayley Kelly 33:46
I don’t enjoy those people. It’s
Hayley Quinn 33:53
It’s tricky. Yeah. So this is a question that I ask all my guests. And I’m always very curious as to the answer for this one. If you could meet your 80 year old self, what do you think she would say to you?
Hayley Kelly 34:07
I think given that I’m at a point right now. So if she stepped back into my life right now, given that I’m going through a massive growth edge, both in terms of like business and self. There have been lots of moments over the last couple of months where I’ve, I’ve had that thought of like, screw this, like, It’s too hard. Why am I doing this? It would be easier to just not, right? And I think she would probably step in and compassionately encourage me to stay the course because I’ve been here before, whether it’s been in business or whether it was on my journey to play for Australia in touch football or becoming a therapist, these moments of like, it feels so painful to be going through this up level, especially when we don’t necessarily recognise it as an uplevel. Until after the fact. Like, we can look back and go, Oh, that was a total up. But while you’re in it, it just feels freakin horrible. Yeah. And so I think she would come passionately, kick me in the bum and say, keep going, like now’s not the time to stop. This is temporary.
I love that. She’s there on the sideline, cheering you on
Kicking me in the butt.
Hayley Quinn 35:42
And reminding you that you’ve been through similar? Not been through this before? You’ve never been this version of yourself before. But you’ve been through things like this before. And I guess my question to you is when you’ve faced things like this before, and it’s felt so painful, and you’ve wanted to give up and you haven’t, have been glad you didn’t?
Hayley Kelly 36:08
I think there can be there’s two different versions of that, I think for the things that were truly worth sticking at, then 100%, right. Like, I think it’s the case that when I’m values aligned, when I’m mission, purpose and why aligned, then it helps me to decipher, like, what am I doing right now? And is it gonna be a good return on investment to stay? Or is it time to move? Like, is it time to pivot? Because there’s nothing wrong with changing course.
Hayley Quinn 36:45
Absolutely.
Right. Sometimes pain can be growth, but sometimes pain can be an indicator to move, to go somewhere else. And I think we have to be really discerning about which of those this time is. And sometimes we we need support to do that through mentorship, or coaching or therapy even. But when I have stayed the course, and it has been for my highest good. It’s just more, it’s just more identity capital for me like it’s, it’s always that sort of moment of, you know, how they use the analogy of like escape velocity. When they’re talking about, I used to be obsessed with all things space and astronomy was a spin I went through during my adolescence. And there’s this notion that in order to get out of the Earth’s atmosphere, a rocket has to expend incredible amounts of energy and withstand incredible amounts of pressure to break free of the thing that’s going to hold them here, which is gravity, right. And I think we, as human beings have gravity, which is our charts of our current context, current beliefs, our current capacity, all of those things act like gravity to a rocket. And when we’re moving towards that next up level for us, it can feel as hard as a rocket works to get out of Earth’s atmosphere. But once it escapes the atmosphere, so once it’s punched through that, and gravity’s no longer holding it. Everything just becomes light, they turn the thrusters off, they’re cruising now. And although they’re still cruising at great speeds, useful, there’s a sense of flow. And so I think that that’s often the feeling that I have, after a huge up level is, it’s really hard to escape gravity. But once I’m out the other side, the that feeling of being in space, at that next level, it feels like flow, it feels like this is just the new normal. That doesn’t require a whole lot of effort to be.
It sounds like a sense of freedom as you’re talking about it.
Hayley Kelly 39:10
Absolutely. I get that visceral sense of like whoa, being shedding that comes with, with an up level. And when we stay the course and that’s the course that we’re supposed to be on. I feel it does come with a sense of, of relief in flow.
Hayley Quinn 39:26
Yeah, absolutely. And I love that you talk about you know, when we align with our values, when that pressure is on, and it’s like, okay, this is feeling really hard. Is this feeling really hard because actually, I’m on the complete wrong path? Or is this feeling hard because it’s meaningful and worthwhile for me, when we connect with our values, when we connect back to the Why am I doing this? That really helps us, doesn’t it? I mean, that that’s like the signposts along the way to help us decide. Is this worth persevering? persevering? Is this a time to grit or time to quit kind of situation?
Hayley Kelly 39:59
I think that the really important thing to remember as human beings is there are very, very few mistakes that you can make or choices you can make along life’s journey that are forever decisions, apart from death. There are very few forever decisions when it comes to life. So there’s not even the pressure of like, you have to get this question, is it? Is it grit? Or is it quit? You don’t even have to get this right. Like, there’s there are always opportunities to course correct, right. So if you go, Yes, this is worth it. And then the next moment like, I was so wrong, I should have given up two steps ago. Well, guess what? You you get another term? Yeah. There will, there will always be opportunities to course correct. Always. And so we don’t need to make the right decision and go into analysis, paralysis or perfection. There’ll be another opportunity.
Hayley Quinn 41:00
Which can be so hard for people, right, I came up with a little quote for myself that I remind myself all the time of, you know, the thing I love most about choices is you can always make another one.
Exactly.
So if people want to find out more about you, Haley, or get in touch and engage with you in your work, what’s the best way that people can do that?
Hayley Kelly 41:27
I would love that. So I’m over on the gram, which is @dr.hayleykelly, Haley Kelly. I’m also over on the website, which is therapistsrising.com. And we’ve got a podcast by the same name. So therapists rising podcast.
Hayley Quinn 41:45
wonderful podcast. And if you could distil it down into one piece of advice, what would you really want our listeners to take away from our conversation today?
Hayley Kelly 41:59
That’s such a good question, isn’t it? I think this is what I try to live my own life by. And integrity is really important to me. So I try to do the things that I also advise others to do. And I think the thing that I feel like I’m here to do, although I’m here to fulfil a mission, fulfil on a mission, I can’t do that unless I am stepping into my highest potential. Like, find the find the truth of who I am, find the truth of why I’m here, find the find the truth of my highest good. And do everything that I can to get the crap out of the way, whether that’s me or external things, to be able to do that. And I think that’s everyone’s modus operandi when it comes to life, right? It’s, it’s the journey of self discovery, in small in service of the world, right? Because I do believe that there is a constant dichotomy. And yes, we’ve moved into a more individualised way of living. But it doesn’t change the nature of the human experience. And I believe that we are here to find out who we are so that we can serve the world in the most powerful way that we can. So my one piece of advice is do the work. Find out who you are, find out your values, find out the mission, the purpose, the vision, and that may change, right like, even the vision and mission changes. As you move through the vision and mission. That find those things and allow them to magnetise you forward. Instead of trying to push away from crap, who you are, or were us those things, your highest potential the vision to magnetise you forward. That’s my advice, no pressure.
Hayley Quinn 44:07
No pressure at all. Just get to know yourself. Get to know yourself really, really well.
Hayley Kelly 44:11
And change the damn world.
Hayley Quinn 44:16
Hayley, it’s been such a pleasure chatting with you. Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. I’ll put all the links in the show notes for people who want to connect with you and find out more. Thank you again for being with me today. It’s an absolute pleasure.
Hayley Kelly 44:32
Thank you. I deeply appreciate you.
Hayley Quinn
Thank you for sharing this time with me today. I hope your time here was helpful and supportive. If there has been something in this episode that you found helpful, I invite you to share it with another person you think might benefit. If you’ve benefited in any way from the podcast, please do me a favour and share my pod some wealth by giving us a five star rating and review. ratings, reviews and shares really helped to increase the awareness and reach of the podcast, meaning I can spread helpful information more widely. All Reviews are welcome and much appreciated as I know they take time out of your day. If you’d like to be notified when the next episode airs, please use the link in the show notes to join my mailing list. If you have any particular topics you’d like to learn more about, or guests you’d like to hear from, please reach out and let me know I’d love to hear from you.
Music and editing by Nyssa Ray thanks Nyssa I wish you all well in your relationship with yourself and your business. And may you go well and go gently.
Links to Dr Hayley Kelly Resources
Website: www.therapistsrising.com
Download our brand new guide: The Ultimate Step-By-Step Guide For Therapists To Create, Launch And Grow A Successful Signature Program www.therapistsrising.com/guide
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.hayleykelly/
Links to Dr Hayley D Quinn Resources
Link to podcast mailing list: https://drhayleydquinn.com/podcast/
Group Coaching Waitlist: https://drhayleydquinn.myflodesk.com/timetothrivewaitlist
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drhayleydquinn
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drhayleydquinn
Freebies: https://drhayleydquinn.com/resources
Meditations: https://drhayleydquinn.com/shop/
Journal: https://drhayleydquinn.com/product/welcome-to-self-compassionate-journal/
