Episode #65 Don’t Underestimate the Cognitive Load

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Hayley Quinn 00:04

Hi, this is Welcome to Self ®. And I’m your host, Dr. Hayley D Quinn, fellow human, AuDHDer, business owner, and the Anti Burnout Business Coach. I’m here for service based business owners and entrepreneurs like you to help you increase your own self care and self compassion. Change the relationship you have with yourself in your business, and help you elevate your business to a new level. So you can live the full and meaningful life you desire.

We are all on a continual learning journey. So let’s learn together. Welcome to Self ® is a place where you can come and learn about the practices that will assist you as a business owner, and get tips on how to engage in your business in a way that’s sustainable for you. You will realise that you’re not alone in the ways that you struggle, because at times, we all do. And I’m happy to share with you what I’ve learned through my own struggles and my experiences of running businesses. You can join me as I chat to wonderful guests, and have your curiosity piqued about various topics. And I’ll also bring you solo bite sized business episodes that can EASILY fit into your day. This is a place to remember that you are human first, and have different tasks in your business, and different roles in your life that need your attention. And for that you need to take care of yourself in the best way you can. This is a place of nourishment, growth, and helpful information. A place where you can learn ways to assist you and your business to thrive.

Because remember if you thrive your business can too.

Hi and welcome to another bite sized business episode. It’s lovely to be with you again. I hope your week is going well. You’re not feeling too overwhelmed by the many things that perhaps you are trying to juggle.

One of the things I wanted to talk about today is the cognitive load that we perhaps minimise or ignore as women in business, I’ve been speaking to a lot of women lately, and I’ve been at a couple of events as a speaker, and this has come up. One of the things I was doing was speaking at a conference in Brisbane, and I noticed a lot of the women were away from home. Other people were looking after their children, but they still had this sense, this kind of internal clock of when it was school pickup time. And were thinking about things like, I wonder if school pickups gone, okay, you know, who’s taking care of the children?

Has somebody got the child to a certain appointment? So even though they were away at a business event for themselves and their business, their mind was still at home, thinking about all the things that had to happen in the household and with the children. It can be a lot when we’re managing a business, we’re managing relationships, parenting and running a household, and I think this often gets overlooked and minimised, and it’s really important that we don’t do that, because if we’re not paying attention to the fact that there is this additional load, then we’re not doing the things we need to do to be able To take care of ourselves properly when we are doing all those I think it can be really important to think about what we need to manage, what we don’t need to manage.

Are we feeling over responsible for things that are actually being managed by other people now that might be in your business or that might be in your home life, it can be good to think about what are some of the tasks that you can delegate to someone else, and if you are delegating them to someone else, can you leave those tasks with that other person and actually allow yourself to put that down that no longer is your responsibility. And I know with different things, particularly children, that can be a little bit harder, but I think with practice, it can get easier. Is there something that you can just put down or delete from the to do list, or maybe not have a to do list, because they can feel overwhelming as well, right?

But something that you can delete or put down that actually doesn’t need doing by anybody, maybe it’s something that you have been doing for a long time, and you’re so used to doing it, you think you need to keep on doing it. Do. But really tune into yourself and ask yourself, Is this still something that is important, or is this just busy work? Is this just a task that I’ve got so used to doing that I don’t think twice about it? What are the things that you could put off or delay? Maybe you’re feeling a sense of urgency that actually isn’t urgent.

Maybe that’s just your own threat system getting activated because you’ve got this thing to do. So think about what are the things that I could delay, maybe for a few hours, maybe for a day, maybe for a week, maybe even, you know, we’re getting to the end of the year, maybe even something that doesn’t need to be done this year could be put off till next year. Just notice what shows up for you in your mind as you hear that maybe there’s something already that you know you’re kind of spending a lot of time thinking about, but that thing doesn’t need doing right now.

And then think about the things you really need to do, like, what are the things that are important in your business and in your life that absolutely do need your attention, because maybe that attention is being pulled away by some of these other things that could be delegated, deleted or delayed. One of the things I like to ask myself is, is this going to matter in a week, in a month, in a year, in five years even, and a lot of the time, in my experience, and from speaking to other people, a lot of the time, these things don’t matter. Our mind can give them a sense of importance and a sense of urgency that actually doesn’t need to be there. I imagine what you could do with that time if you weren’t caught up doing things that you don’t actually need to be doing, and what if you’re only doing them out of a sense of obligation, a sense of over responsibility, because they’ve become habit. Maybe you don’t trust someone else to do it, and that’s an area you might need to work on as well.

But if you weren’t doing all those things that were keeping you so busy that perhaps aren’t the things that are important for you to do. Think about what you could do with that time. Maybe it might be coming up with creative ideas for your business. Maybe it might be focusing on a task in your business that you have been putting off because you’ve felt too busy, but would really make a difference to you if you got it done. Maybe it would be some time away from the business just to have a bit of fun, a bit of downtime. Maybe it’d be more time with your children or loved ones. I think we can get used to being busy. We can look around and feel like we ought to be busy. Society rewards busyness, but doesn’t take care of people when they’re burnt out.

So we can’t just be busy, busy, busy, all the time, trying to juggle everything, doing everything ourselves, not asking for help, not making decisions about what’s actually important and not and then expect to be able to do this week on week off, week on month on year upon year, at some point it’s going to have an impact. And the problem with that is, if you do get to the point of burnout, it can be a long road back out of it. It can have really detrimental impacts on your health, on your wealth and on your relationships. I know what that’s like, and it’s no fun, believe me, and that’s why I’ve worked hard to create a way of working that always honors my well being. Now that’s not to say I don’t have times that I’m busy, but I plan ahead for those times. I make sure I’m taking care of myself the best way I can. In the lead up to those times, I know I’m going to be really busy. I. So for me, I worked on my ability and willingness to ask other people for help, because that was an area I struggled with.

And now, if I know I’m going to be busy or I’ve got challenging tasks ahead, I think about whether it would be helpful to ask somebody else for help, and that’s been a real game changer for me, and also what it’s done, it means I’ve got a community of people around me that I really enjoy connecting with, I feel supported by. I don’t feel like I’m on this journey alone. Because let’s face it, business ownership can feel lonely at times. So my invitation to you is to really tune in.

Ask yourself, what is it that you’re really managing, like, be really honest with yourself about the cognitive load that you’re carrying from all the domains in your life, and then getting really honest with yourself about what of that absolutely needs to be done by you, and where are the areas that you could make some changes, whether that is asking for help and delegating tasks To other people, whether that’s at home or business, whether there’s things you just don’t need to be doing, you can put them down, delete them, they’re not important. Whether there’s things that you can delay and how long you can delay those for, and that could be anything from an hour to five years time, but really tune in and see what shows up for you.

Ask yourself, what about this is going to matter in a week, in a month, in a year, in five years time? Because I can assure you, your health and well being is going to matter in a week, in a month, in a year, in five years time and beyond. So how can you do things in your business and your life now that are going to honor your well being and take care of your future self. If you’re looking for support in any of this, please reach out and let’s talk about ways that we might be able to work together. In the meantime, go well and go gently with yourself.

And remember, if you thrive, your business will too.

Thank you for sharing this time with me today. I hope our time together has been helpful and supportive. If there has been something in this episode that you have found helpful, I invite you to share it with another person you think might benefit. If you’ve benefited in any way from the podcast, please do me a favor and show my pod some love by giving it a five star rating and review ratings, reviews and shares really help to increase awareness and reach of the podcast, allowing this helpful information to be spread more widely. All Reviews are welcome and much appreciated. And if you do share on socials, remember to tag me so I can see who’s listening, because you never really know over here in podcast land, and I can reach out personally to say thank you. If you’d like to be notified when the next episode airs, please use the link in the show notes to join our mailing list. If you have any particular topics you’d like to learn more about, or guests you’d like to hear from, please reach out and let me know. I’d love to hear from you.

Music and editing by Nyssa Ray, thanks, Nyssa. I wish you all well in your relationship with yourself and your business.

May you go well and go gently and remember if you thrive, your business will too you.

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