When wisdom speaks and you just don’t listen – the chocolate story

Once upon a time there was a woman who liked chocolate, no she didn’t just like chocolate she loved chocolate and she made sure she ate some regularly. It tasted so good as it melted in her mouth, it brought a smile to her face. After a while the woman noticed that she started to feel a little sick. One day she heard an inner voice “Maybe it’s the chocolate?”, “That’s strange” she thought and went on with her business. Days later she noticed that she had that same sick feeling again, and again a quiet inner voice whispered, “you know it really could be the chocolate”. The woman thought about this for a moment and then figured that would just be ridiculous and went on with her business. Now this kept happening again and again and again. One day she realised this inner voice was her Wisdom and mentioned to her husband “You know I think it possibly could be the chocolate that is making me feel sick, I mean I don’t think that would be it, but it is a possibility. I’ll try some more another time and see how I feel”. She did try some more and she did feel sick but still not convinced she spoke with her husband again “You now what are the chances that something like chocolate could be the problem? I should probably try it again just to be sure!”. Did I mention that this woman really, really liked chocolate!

Throughout all this her Wisdom was letting the woman know that chocolate was the problem (or part of the problem at least). At times another inner voice, let’s call her Self Critic, started berating the woman “How stupid have you got to be, you know it’s the chocolate, just stop eating it!” “You just keep ignoring the facts and think things will get better” “You’re so stupid” and so it went on. Until another voice showed up, let’s call her Self Compassion. Self Compassion reminded the woman that change was hard “You know it’s the chocolate darling and change is hard. You’ll do it differently when you’re ready” “Maybe you need to find something in place of the chocolate so you don’t feel like you’re missing out” “Maybe you could start with dark chocolate and see if that makes a difference” “Maybe you can go gently with yourself whilst you’re trying to manage all this” “You deserve to be well darling”. During this time Wisdom got louder and more persistent, gently moving the woman towards change. Eventually the woman with the help of Self Compassion was able to listen to her Wisdom and make the changes she needed to make.

Dr Hayley D Quinn
Clinical Psychologist/Supervisor/Trainer